Narcisism!

poet123

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

Vicky123

poet123 wrote: »

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

That may be true but it's better that way than someone suffering for years as is often the case in Narcissistic/abusive relationship and no one believing it could be true, narcissists are the most convincing liars on earth, and there's nothing more uncomfortable than living in fear and no one believing it.
Having said that I believe if everyone who is run of the mill selfish pig is labelled as Narcissistic then it lessens the pain of victims who cannot find a way out of severe abuse.
It's the classic catch 22 situation, to be diagnosed as Narcissistic you have to go see the doctor, as Narcissists think they are perfect and nothing is amiss they will not go see the doctor, sometimes diagnosis is only made after a crime has been committed but even then they will try and hide their true nature.

andygb

poet123 wrote: »

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

Cyril posted this:

The traits of a narcissist were,

Someone oblivious to the needs and sensitivities of others.
Always right.
Never displaying empathy to another person
Always needing to be the centre of attention
Very insecure inwardly but often arrogant outwardly
Often appearing rude to others
Inflated sense of self importance

For me, this sums up NPD perfectly, because unfortunately (as I have posted before), my sister displays all these signs constantly.
It is all the annoying personality traits, the things which ordinary people would not dream of doing, for instance:
Two people happily engaged in conversation, the person with NPD will butt in and change the conversation totally, in order to speak about themselves.
A group of people go out together, and the person with NPD has been invited along (simply because the others think it would be rude to exclude them). Even if the person with NPD does not know the others well, they will try to take over every aspect of the venture, oblivious to the fact that everything has been planned and agreed.
The person with NPD has to control EVERY situation which they find themselves in, anything which involves choice will result in NPD person dictating to others.
People with NPD are extremely selfish and greedy, never taking into account other people's feelings, for instance:
I had my 50th some years ago, and my sister announced that for my "birthday treat" she would take us all to the London Eye. I said that the London Eye was the last place on earth I would wish to visit - was I being selfish?
No, because my sister knows full well that I suffer from extreme vertigo, and she even told me that I could simply not go on it, but she was really looking forward to it.
At my wedding, she made a scene, because she considered the DJ was playing the music too loud (nobody else complained), when I refused to ask them to turn it down, she stormed off home:eek:
People with NPD are selfish, nasty, inconsiderate people, who never do anything for anyone, unless it is going to benefit them. They are also very cunning and sly, and will not hesitate to try to turn people against one another, if they feel that a friendship is developing. They will spread rumours, lies and gossip about friends and relations in order to destroy happiness.

Rant over - I feel so much better now;)

KxMx

poet123 wrote: »

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

Without wishing to be disrespectful, sometimes someone who has suffered NPD in their lives can often spot the more subtle indicators which others would miss.
Not all with NPD are overtly horrible, some are crafty to the extreme and manage to cast everyone as the bad guy, never themselves, all while maintain the façade to outsiders that they are innocent.

balletshoes

andygb wrote: »

Cyril posted this:

The traits of a narcissist were,

Someone oblivious to the needs and sensitivities of others.
Always right.
Never displaying empathy to another person
Always needing to be the centre of attention
Very insecure inwardly but often arrogant outwardly
Often appearing rude to others
Inflated sense of self importance

so, from this list, is the inference that narcissists are always nasty, because these are their traits? Because I can tick off every single item on that list for my boss at work, and I don't consider her nasty, or vindictive, or conniving etc. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her with any personal information, but that doesn't mean I think she's nasty or vindictive. I think she's her own worst enemy because she displays those traits.

I can see where poet123 is coming from to be fair - I read some of this thread's posts and thought "but surely that person they are talking about is a kn*b rather than necessarily a narcissist?". Maybe I'm being too simplistic though, in my point of view.

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

There does seem to be psychobabble overload on this thread.

OrkneyStar

Just to rock the boat, what was the problem with this being in the arms or some other discussion area? I really wish there were less 'not really money saving' threads. One of the reasons I read this board less and less, despite there being some useful information/discussion on here!

missprice

poet123 wrote: »

I have read through this whole thread, and, whilst there are undoubtedly posts from people who have been abused by close relatives, there are others which don't tap into the same vein.

I certainly don't see Narcissism in every post. Yet, every post is accepted as such, which makes me uncomfortable.

Dunroamin wrote: »

There does seem to be psychobabble overload on this thread.

Does it really matter if its narcissm or some other personality disorder or just a nasty person?
Surely what matters more is that people get help dealing with it, whatever it may be called.
I would rather someone knew they could without prejudice ignore a nasty person whether related or not, or find ways of dealing with a nasty person than be left in limbo suffering,no matter what the actual diagnoses is.

Dunroamin

missprice wrote: »

Does it really matter if its narcissm or some other personality disorder or just a nasty person?
Surely what matters more is that people get help dealing with it, whatever it may be called.
I would rather someone knew they could without prejudice ignore a nasty person whether related or not, or find ways of dealing with a nasty person than be left in limbo suffering,no matter what the actual diagnoses is.

You don't need a "diagnosis" for being an unpleasant person and neither do most people need strangers on the internet helping them to deal with what's a normal part of life.

Since when did we all become so feeble?

missprice

Dunroamin wrote: »

You don't need a "diagnosis" for being an unpleasant person and neither do most people need strangers on the internet helping them to deal with what's a normal part of life.

Since when did we all become so feeble?

Agree with no diagnoses needed, but evidently with this and many other threads about same or bullying or nasty neighbors etc, strangers on an internet forum are needed for advice