Can't do anthing right.....

Person_one

Gavin83 wrote: »

Honestly though, I don't see why people in this thread think it's acceptable to gain a lot of weight and still expect their partners to find them as attractive as they did before. This really shouldn't be the case.

Here's the thing Gavin, its not so much that we expect a partner to still be as attracted to their loved one when they're puffed up from chemo or kidney failure or thyroid disease, bald or balding, with flaking or blotched skin, covered in scars from surgeries or emaciated to the point of skeletal while they look at their body in distressed bemusement that it has betrayed them so utterly...

...its that we still expect them to love, care about and support them. There is so so so much more to a meaningful and mutually fulfilling relationship than attraction. Attraction may be important in the initial stages but its worth bu!!er all in the grand scheme of things.

Person_one

Oh, and here's a bit of a public service announcement for any men who may be thinking of doing their partners the 'favour' of hinting that they may have gained a little weight:

1. She already knows, she has realised her trousers are tighter and things aren't zipping up, if you have bathroom scales she's probably bright enough to know how to use them. She doesn't need to be informed by you.

2. She already knows that thinner is generally considered better and more attractive, she's known that since she was about 12 and the world reminds her every single day. She also probably realises that you don't fancy her as much right now but is also under the illusion that you care enough about her not to hurt her feelings. Try not to shatter that illusion.

3. The fact that you are critical of weight gain for non-medical reasons gives her a heads up that you may not be someone she can depend on to stick around or be of any use if she ever does have a medical issue or an accident that alters her appearance. Even if you think its different, she now knows that you place a lot of importance on her looks, perhaps more so than on her feelings.

4. If you really do feel strongly that any weight gain is unacceptable and a just reason to end a relationship, please inform new partners early on, before they have chance to gain any weight or change in any other way that doesn't meet your approval. Don't let women get too attached to you without this information.