Husband Punched Me For First Time

Littlemadam83

Padstow wrote: »

I was going to give you sound, practical advice until the BIB.
So you are going on holiday with your abuser? Nuff said.

Would you rather I sat at home and cried? I want to show him he cant turn me into a wreck and that what he has done will not affect me (although it is).

LegalBlonde

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

I don't want to sell the house. I can afford to live there alone and it is the only place I have truely felt happy.

you may think I'm all barking mad, I just have worked so hard to get where I am, I dont see why I should have to suffer more.

So you can afford to live there alone? Unless that is a typo, you could arrange with your solicitors to buy him out or pay him or something?

How much did your holiday set you back and is it all non refundable?

gordikin

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Would you rather I sat at home and cried? I want to show him he cant turn me into a wreck and that what he has done will not affect me (although it is).

Are you really going to go on holiday with him....why would you? Nobody is suggesting that you sit at home and cry. You need to get rid now, not at some time in the future when the planets are aligned correctly and it's convenient.

Person_one

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Would you rather I sat at home and cried? I want to show him he cant turn me into a wreck and that what he has done will not affect me (although it is).

Um, he should know that what he has done has had an effect! He should know that there are incredibly serious consequences to abusive violent behaviour and that things can't just carry on as normal after you've crossed that line!

I don't understand your actions at all. You seem to be carrying on as normal in a relationship that you are claiming is over. Have you told him you consider things to be over?

The sensible response to the punch would be to call the police, tell him to move out and if he refuses to move out then get a non molestation order, change the locks on the house and increase the security a bit, go to a solicitor, start proceedings for buying him out of the house.

The buying out thing is really straightforward if both parties just get on with it. Only took about three months for me to be free of my ex, there's no need at all for this to drag on until Christmas if you don't want it to, but now I'm wondering you actually want it to...

CRH71

Littlemadam83, please, please, please GET OUT NOW. Whilst you still can.

(and that's from the male perspective).

Material things, houses, holidays mean absolutely NOTHING when your life is potentially at risk. They are no good to you when he does get a bit too tipsy on holiday and "give you a backhander", or punches you again and this time either puts you in hospital or half-kills you.

You really MUST act straight away and think of yourself, and your well being, first. Your safety is paramount.

I have been the victim of DV (and yes, I'm male, no, it's not easy to "admit to" and it's far harder to believe that you're going to be listened to if you DO complain...) and I have learned the hard way, but fortunately am still here to tell the tale.

I can't stress this enough - act now to potentially save your life. Don't even consider the material things - they can be replaced.

vroombroom

I can't give you any sympathy for staying with him and going on holiday with him. You must be mad. Its like you are sending the message its ok what he has done

Lotus-eater

You've also got the problem of maybe relenting and "giving it another go" whilst on holiday.

PurpleD

OP may i suggest you read the thread below , read some of the things other people on this forum have experienced . If this does not change your mind about leaving this wasteless piece of space then god knows what will.


https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3197570=

dirtysexymonkey

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Would you rather I sat at home and cried? I want to show him he cant turn me into a wreck and that what he has done will not affect me (although it is).

what your actually doing it showing him that he can hit you and you wont do anything about it so he can do it again and again. your putting a holiday above your safety. if you want to stay in the house then you should have him arrested and thrown out. then you can get an injunction to stop him from getting to you and then you can buy him out. how can you put a holiday above your safety and freedom?

whitewing

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

He is not always angry and stuff so its not like I am constantly in danger

Yes you are because you won't know when it will happen next.