Husband Punched Me For First Time

jamespir

i think you should leave punching women is not on and if he calls you all the names under the sun he dont sound too nice either(he needs to get some help anger management psychiatry or something ) i have an abusive partner (shes a women so i know most on here wont give two hoots ) that i do admit i put up with cause i know shes ill (schizophrenia) and cant help it so i know how you feel that you feel they will change but its turned now after he has hit you dont let there be a second time wish you well

icelandic_queen

I'm off for a weekend of spa treatments today with some friends. I'm not rubbing it in but this is what life is like when you are free to make your own decisions. My kids will be looked after well by my parents and I'll enjoy my time. Just being able to go and know that there are no reprecussions is fantastic, no shouting, spitting, being called all the names under the sun, thumps, hair-pulling, kicking, tramped on as you lie on the ground and when you come back no wrecked house or walking on egg-shells because you know that sooner or later you have to 'take what's coming to you'!! Think about it, is this really the life you want?

lemontree

You can obtain an injunction to get him out. Mental cruelty is just as bad as physical or perhaps even worse!In the end you feel it is your fault and your confidence becomes none existent. I tolerated mostly mental abuse for 15 years.
Now with 3 grown up children my one regret is that I did not take action sooner. My children and I still feel the effects of the way this bully treated us.
Even though my Daughter teaches in a University and seems very happy, she bursts into tears even if we mention him.
This situation will not get better. He is a control freak and a bully!
Best Wishes for the future!

Sambucus_Nigra

I'm sure LM is contemplating her future whilst on the holiday...we all know that people leave in their own good time when they are ready not when other people on the internet tell them they are ready.

lemontree

I am sure that the people who have posted (when the young lady asked for advice) were trying to help and those of us who have suffered abuse have much sympathy for her.
I wish, when I was thinking I was to blame for my husband's behaviour, I could have shared my despair with other sufferers anonymously!
I was too busy acting out the happy family chirade so as not to worry my family until it became impossible.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

jamespir wrote: »

i think you should leave punching women is not on and if he calls you all the names under the sun he dont sound too nice either(he needs to get some help anger management psychiatry or something ) i have an abusive partner (shes a women so i know most on here wont give two hoots ) that i do admit i put up with cause i know shes ill (schizophrenia) and cant help it so i know how you feel that you feel they will change but its turned now after he has hit you dont let there be a second time wish you well

Having schizophrenia is not an excuse for violence. Otherwise all schizophrenia sufferers would have their children taken away and they would be locked up permanently on the grounds that they were dangerous. Which is obviously ridiculous.

If she can manage to not attack random people in the street, then she is quite able to control any violent urge.


I suggest you get out, too.

Mojisola

jamespir wrote: »

i think you should leave punching women is not on and if he calls you all the names under the sun he dont sound too nice either(he needs to get some help anger management psychiatry or something ) i have an abusive partner (shes a women so i know most on here wont give two hoots ) that i do admit i put up with cause i know shes ill (schizophrenia) and cant help it so i know how you feel that you feel they will change but its turned now after he has hit you dont let there be a second time wish you well

This is very sad but it's true. I know a family where the husband has been put in hospital by his wife's attacks on him and he doesn't receive the same help and support that she would get if it was the other way round.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

This is very sad but it's true. I know a family where the husband has been put in hospital by his wife's attacks on him and he doesn't receive the same help and support that she would get if it was the other way round.

The law is gender neutral.

Its true that there aren't as many charities aimed at male victims of DV but that's because there are far far far fewer of them and that's the way charities work. Maybe when your friend feels recovered enough he could set something up to support men in the same boat, or maybe you could rather than just complaining?

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

The law is gender neutral.

Its true that there aren't as many charities aimed at male victims of DV but that's because there are far far far fewer of them and that's the way charities work. Maybe when your friend feels recovered enough he could set something up to support men in the same boat, or maybe you could rather than just complaining?

It is but people's opinions aren't.

I do what I can to work with a support group for people with ME but my own health stops me doing any more.

I wasn't complaining - just agreeing with jamespir that male victims are looked at differently by many people.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

It is but people's opinions aren't.

I do what I can to work with a support group for people with ME but my own health stops me doing any more.

I wasn't complaining - just agreeing with jamespir that male victims are looked at differently by many people.

Well that's patriarchy for you, it hurts men too!

I just don't think its appropriate on a thread for a female victim of a male aggressor to start in with the 'men can be victims too you know' posts. If a male victim starts a thread asking for advice on how to leave and so on I'm sure they will receive it.