Husband Punched Me For First Time

BugglyB

I know everyone is trying to be helpful by saying 'change the locks, ring the police', however this can have the effect of enraging the person you have locked out/had arrested. What I would beg you to do is ring Womens Aid or your local domestic violence service. Get some professional advice and support about the best way to go about leaving. It can be a very dangerous time and you need to be prepared. They will be able to give you pragmatic advice about how likely you are to get an injunction or what will happen if you ring the police. Good luck, OP, you deserve better than this x

Mowgli87

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

I forgot to mention that he is so sick he scraped his back shoulder with his nails, I assume to make it look like I'd attacked him?

Youre not from South wales/Bridgend area I suppose? My mums ex did that after be beat the hell out of me. He sounds deluded, get the hell out of there... I can tell you know from experience it will only get worse

Littlemadam83

Thanks everyone. I agree with you BugglyB, the police thing will only make matters worse as especially the process of leaving will not happen overnight.

I look at him now and there is nothing left, and I know that will never leave me as my mum beat me once too when I was 16, and never have I fully trusted and accepted her back into my life.

We are going on holiday this week, and when that is all over I will properly start the balls rolling, I have just spent so much money I'm not going to waste it, and will just steer clear of the d*ck

x

scooby088

For the life i me i cannot understand why you stay, once is enough to be hit, my thoughts are if my other half ever hit me i would have her charged and arrested and i have told her as much and she would be thrown out too, and i know i'd be making her kids homeless too still wouldn't stop me. I think waiting to get funds is an excuse, he is already being emotionally abusive and has been physically abusive once, don't let it escalate leave now before you get seriously hurt.

pigpen

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I agree with you BugglyB, the police thing will only make matters worse as especially the process of leaving will not happen overnight.

I look at him now and there is nothing left, and I know that will never leave me as my mum beat me once too when I was 16, and never have I fully trusted and accepted her back into my life.

We are going on holiday this week, and when that is all over I will properly start the balls rolling, I have just spent so much money I'm not going to waste it, and will just steer clear of the d*ck

x

And money is everything when this could be your life you are dicing with

Littlemadam83

I am not risking my life. I know exactly what he is like, and will get emergency accommodation if and when needed. I refuse to give up my life because he is like this.

I always said that the second he hit me he would be out. Real life isn't as easy as that, and I need to be clever to not lose out.

Is it getting worse, yes. Is he like it all the time...no. Do I have a set goal to be settled without him in my new life by Xmas, yes. Meaning I will have fully moved on from then with him have left months before. This week for instance we've just lived seperately. I can live and cope with that alot better than living in a shelter away from my work, and my cats and neighbours.

LegalBlonde

I don't understand why you will "lose out", if you have both paid the mortgage won't the house be sold in divorce proceedings and split between you....

Littlemadam83

I don't want to sell the house. I can afford to live there alone and it is the only place I have truely felt happy.

you may think I'm all barking mad, I just have worked so hard to get where I am, I dont see why I should have to suffer more.

ceebeeby

I was kicked once when I was kneeling down doing something - roughly 14 years ago, maybe more. He was arrested and bailed back to the family home, and a subsequent non-molestation order was obtained within 2 days from the courts.

He never, nor would he ever do it again - the police I think were quite rough in their approach - and for a person with no previous law enforcement experience - I imagine quite scary and the judge at the n-m hearing was very scathing towards him. He was mortified, embarrassed and horrified by what he'd done "in a moment of anger" he also acknowledged immediately that what he'd done was wrong and he deserved the consequences.

I didn't leave him - we still row, we still argue at times, and he's still an @rse at times but both he and I know he will never overstep the mark again.

Just my experience - and I'm not saying your @rse is in this league, but different perspectives might help you decide what to do.

Padstow

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I agree with you BugglyB, the police thing will only make matters worse as especially the process of leaving will not happen overnight.

I look at him now and there is nothing left, and I know that will never leave me as my mum beat me once too when I was 16, and never have I fully trusted and accepted her back into my life.

We are going on holiday this week, and when that is all over I will properly start the balls rolling, I have just spent so much money I'm not going to waste it, and will just steer clear of the d*ck

x

I was going to give you sound, practical advice until the BIB.
So you are going on holiday with your abuser? Nuff said.