Husband Punched Me For First Time

bluenoseam

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Seriously thank you everyone for all your posts, I really appreciate the time given to reply.

He punched me once in the chest, after a heated argument. Does this constitute me going to the police officially? I originally spoke to them in case it happened again and they would know that if I called there was a history of it. I forgot to mention that he is so sick he scraped his back shoulder with his nails, I assume to make it look like I'd attacked him?

He is not always angry and stuff so its not like I am constantly in danger, or I would have moved out. I just want to make arrangements before it does get to that stage, plus I cant take the emotional stuff anymore, I know I can be happier.

I have no money at the moment, am up to my overdraft limit, and it wont be until two pay days time I will have any decent cash as I am gettting no commission next month.

I hope this has answered others questions? I think I really need to talk to him when he is calm and just be nice and try and convince him to leave while starting divorce proceedings which to be honest I didnt want to have to focus on that, but just getting him away from me without losing the things I have worked hard for.

Yes, he assaulted you, no matter how many times he hits you the first one is the trigger for the charge - and not to frighten you, but one punch can cause SERIOUS damage. You don't need to convince him of anything, speak to the police & change the locks, he will be court ordered (i think) to stay away from you, if he fails to adhere to this instruction he will be placed in custody. The police have experience of dealing with these situations and will be able to know what's legitimate or otherwise, if they see the scratches on his back & compare with your fingers it shouldn't take Detective of the Year to understand that doesn't add up.

**confuzzled**

flutterby_lil wrote: »

You don't have to lose everything - get him arrested and then get a......the word escapes me - they thing where he can't come near you.

moodydonkey wrote: »

Injunction?

adouglasmhor wrote: »

Or an interdict if in Scotland.

restraining order??????

adouglasmhor

**confuzzled** wrote: »

restraining order??????

Interdict http://scotland.shelter.org.uk/getadvice/advice_topics/families_and_households/domestic_abuse/taking_legal_action/interdicts_for_domestic_abuse
Restraining Order http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/restraining_orders_-_section_12_domestic_violence_crime_and_victims_act_2004/
Injunction http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002

Get any one of the three please OP.

icelandic_queen

I went with my 3 kids to a Women's Aid hostel with the clothes on my back and 72p in my purse. I got non-molestation order against him a few days later and he had to leave the marital home and let me and the kids return. He was not charged or arrested but they did enforce the order by delivering it to him and waiting until he had left. I eventually bought him out. If I hadn't have went that day I would be dead, just another statistic. I and my kids deserved better and you do too. Is there anywhere that you can leave personal papers, clothes and other things you might need? You might want to move some valuable stuff out of your flat in case he explodes when he realises you have gone. My stark advice is don"t be sentimental, start thinking like a man and start getting angry at him!!

Lirin

I PM'd you.

make_me_wise

I think you are an incredibly strong woman, though it may not feel like it at the moment hun. A lot of people who suffer abuse are so emotionally crippled by it they cant even see what is going on. It speaks volumes about your strength of character that you can see things for what they are and want to make steps to stop this abuse.

This may feel like the most difficult thing in the world to do but I would urge you to contact the police and press charges for the violence you have suffered. It is something I feel you will regret years down the track, if you dont. Will also send an incredibly strong message to the individual you are married to (sorry I just cant call him a man, real men dont stoop so low as to abuse and hit a woman) that you will not tolerate his behaviour one minute longer.

Contact a solicitor if you have decided things are definately over and sort the financial side of your split legally. I would recommend you contact CAB who will be able to advise you of anything you would be entitled to claim in terms of benefits, council tax reductions etc. I dont know your financial situation so I apologise if this wouldn't be applicable to you.

Please feel free to PM me, unfortunately I have some experience of what you are facing, as a close friend of mine suffered as you are.

FRUIT_SALAD

Good luck and stay strong.

From personal experience changing the locks would do nothing but only anger him more and this could go horribly wrong, if he wanted in he would find a way to get in.

mummyplus3

I would report it too the police properly, tell them that he hit you and he's sratched himself with the nails. They are not stupid and would be able to work out whether it was from fingers or metal nails.

Get a non-molestion order, change the locks, contact a solicitor to get the ball rolling on the divorce and I don't no why your mum has disowned you but if its to do with him, now would be a good time to give her a ring and ask for support, I'd also let some of your friends & perhaps a manager at work no whats gone on incase he goes off on one again and you get hurt, there is people who will watch your back.

I think you are very brave, and I agree you shouldn't lose everything because he is a first class pr*ck!

gratefulforhelp_2

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

He punched me once in the chest, after a heated argument. Does this constitute me going to the police officially? I originally spoke to them in case it happened again and they would know that if I called there was a history of it. I forgot to mention that he is so sick he scraped his back shoulder with his nails, I assume to make it look like I'd attacked him?

Of course you go to the police, unless you think punching you once is acceptable?

You will be so glad you got rid.

clearing_out_my_pockets

If you weren't living with him, if this was a random person you met in the street and argued with, would you not report them if they 'only' punched you once? The fact that he is your husband doesn't give him the right to use violence in an argument. No matter how heated.