Husband Punched Me For First Time

Littlemadam83

Hey everyone,

I was just wondering if there was anyone out there in the same boat, I do feel really alone, but am trying to get as much help as I can as the reality of changing my life completely terrifies me.

I have lived with pretty much a year of emotional abuse. He will get angry about the smallest things, and take it out on me for days. We have not had a good week since honeymoon and there is always something that sets him off and sulk for weeks. I have been called every name under the sun and although I haven't left him and thought he would change, I can now see the pattern and it is getting alot worse.

So Thursday he got angry over my cat pooing on the floor. No consoling or sorting it made it better, as I had joked saying he was blowing it all out of proportion. Friday morning I apologised for not taking it more seriously to keep the peace, and by Friday night I was angry he had still not calmed down. I was upset, I was called so many vile names, and I slept as soon sa I got home to try and block it all out. midnight came and he wanted to go to bed, as I locked myself in the bedroom there was again another argument. It feels like i am imprisoned in there as I cant take the atmosphere he creates. It escalated and I was furious he would not talk or calm down like an adult and he then punched me in the chest with force. It didnt hurt, at the time, but I am so upset he has crossed the line and I know there is no turning back.

The reason I am posting is I know it's over. But we have a mortgage together and I do not want to lose the flat as I put most of the money in. He can easily move back to his parents as he drives, whereas I only have a scooter and commuting to work froma distance will be dangerous. Plus my mum has totally disowned me.

If you have been through something like this what did you do to get out of it? I am trying to be strong but having very up and down days. I broke down last night and this morning, am just so scared of moving on, but I know I have no choice and I do hate this man, there is no love left.

Thank you in advance xxx

LJM

GET OUT NOW dont think about reasons to stay if he is hurting you physically and emotionally how long are you willing to let it go on for ? i dont care what anyone says there is no excuse for violence just leave morgage is nothing compared to suffering

RAS

How long have you been married?

if it is less than one year, the divorce courts will aim to return you to the same situation as you would have been had you not married. If you carry on, once you have bene married, he has much more chance of gaining financial advantage.

Dio you have any joint accounts other than the mortgage?

Alter_ego

Saying he punched you for the first time indicates you realise there will be a second, third, fourth, etc time. Get out now!

vroombroom

call the police and get the locks changed.

Sod the fact if he owns part of it etc - are you scared of him?

pigpen

Report the assault to the police.. and if he won't leave.. take the cat and go!

there are links to womens aid etc at the top of the page..

I'd make sure everyone knows as well.. his family, his friends everyone... don't fall into the cycle of letting him apologise... get out now while you still can!

A single punch to the chest can kill you .. it can rip the blood vessels or cause the heart to stop or go into a dodgy rhythm.

gratefulforhelp_2

Look at the links to the helplines at the top of the board - they will give you a comprehensive list of what to do.

savingmummy

No advice regarding mortgage or finance side of it BUT you will get lots of support and sound advice from others here.

GET OUT NOW!
Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical and now his got physical! You don`t deserve that NOONE does.

polejunkie

Only an idiot would stay.
You know the answer so why ask?

Littlemadam83

Thanks LJM, I know and understand exactly what you are saying, but that flat is moreso mine, and there is no way in hell I want to leave it as I have worked so hard for it.

I realise how much this is getting me down, I know when he will get angry and close to breaking point, so will need to get out immediately if I sense it coming again.

I just dont want to lose everything because of him. He is not worth it xxx

nickinoo

Please let it be the last time-get out while you can!