Husband Punched Me For First Time

McKneff

Unless you do something drastic it will go on and on and on and on.

Change the locks and throw his stuff out of the window while he is knocking at the door.
Any problem, call the police and get a restraining order.

Gigglepig

It doesn't sound like he is nice to you and it doesn't sound like you are that nice to him either (I'd be furious if my OH locked me out of my own bedroom)

I'd book a counselling session asap, since even if you split up it would be good if you could deal with the flat etc amicably.

Also consider whether there are medical or other reasons why his moods have been deteriorating - even if you are not right for each other it may be that you both need help in one way or another.

savingmummy

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Thanks LJM, I know and understand exactly what you are saying, but that flat is moreso mine, and there is no way in hell I want to leave it as I have worked so hard for it.

I realise how much this is getting me down, I know when he will get angry and close to breaking point, so will need to get out immediately if I sense it coming again.

I wouldn`t wait for next time

I just dont want to lose everything because of him. He is not worth it xxx

In reality you are already losing your life and yourself to him. IF you don`t seperate you could lose friends family, job - everything!

Nicki

Good for you in spotting the danger and acting quickly. Not many women are able to say the first time their husband hits them is also the last

Go and see a solicitor immediately specializing in family law. You can't petition for divorce until you have been married for at least a year, but you can start unravelling things now in preparation for that milestone. I am not an expert but I think in cases of DV you can get the aggressor out of the matrimonial home while the financial aspects are settled, so you can continue to live there. A good solicitor will know how to do this and keep everything straight for you.

You are doing the right thing and being very brave too. It's only natural to fee sad and scared that things have got to this point, but taking action will help.

Littlemadam83

Wow, sorry I didnt realise I'd have so many responses. I want to leave him and be away from him, but why lose everything I've worked hard for when he is the one that has basically broken the law.

I know he will do it again.

I spoke to the police but they said I'd have to report it and they would interview/arrest him which I dont want as I just want to get on with my life and be rid of him.

I called Womens Aid after it happened, he went out for a few hours and she was really helpful. I am going to call them moving forward but need to think long and hard about ways to save the life I am in. If it wasnt for him I would be so happy where I am now.

Thank you for all your responses, I hope there is a way without losing everything xx

RAS

McKneff wrote: »

Unless you do something drastic it will go on and on and on and on.

Change the locks and throw his stuff out of the window while he is knocking at the door.
Any problem, call the police and get a restraining order.

She cannot do this if he has any share in the house, and he will know it.

Is there any mark on you where he hit you?

Please speak to Women's Aid and move out. Get a restraining order and start divorce proceeedings. Then move back in and change the locks.

adouglasmhor

Get out now - or get him out. He is not going to get better and I hate to think of a woman being ground down to a shadow by a man like that. He has already stolen part of who you were from you.

I don't even know him and I am angry with him.

RAS

Just read your last post. You have to report it to the police. That is the only way you can get a restraining order.

adouglasmhor

RAS wrote: »

She cannot do this if he has any share in the house, and he will know it.

Is there any mark on you where he hit you?

Please speak to Women's Aid and move out. Get a restraining order and start divorce proceeedings. Then move back in and change the locks.

If he gets charged by the police for assault he will not be allowed to go near her, and the police will advise to change the locks.

GlynD

He's the one at fault. He should be made to leave the marital home. If he refuses, call the police.