Husband Punched Me For First Time

**confuzzled**

Oh Sweetie you poor thing:( But you've done the biggest part...you've realised you're at breaking point and you can't go on...the only way from here is up:) You're definitely stronger than you realise:)

The mortgage can be sorted at a later date, do you have your own funds for now and be able to live off your own wage??

You need to get away from him as soon as you can, do you have the strength to tell him you need space and send him to his parents??? This should at least give you some space and time to think without him being around.....or at least move him or yourself to the spare bedroom/sofa.

I was in a similar relationship a few years back, I left before he hit me...it was the raised fist and look in his eye that made me wake up and realise he wouldn't change, I took his !!!!!! for 3 wasted years:mad:
The thing that helped me was a work colleague who guessed what was happening and said "it can be as difficult or as easy as you make it" she was right:) So how easy are you going to make it for yourself??? Feel free to pm me if you need support xx

flutterby_lil

You don't have to lose everything - get him arrested and then get a......the word escapes me - they thing where he can't come near you. Is the place is joint names did you say and how long have you been married?

Well done for realising that this is the end and trying to act as swiftly and calmly as possible.

moodydonkey

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Wow, sorry I didnt realise I'd have so many responses. I want to leave him and be away from him, but why lose everything I've worked hard for when he is the one that has basically broken the law.

I know he will do it again.

I spoke to the police but they said I'd have to report it and they would interview/arrest him which I dont want as I just want to get on with my life and be rid of him.

I called Womens Aid after it happened, he went out for a few hours and she was really helpful. I am going to call them moving forward but need to think long and hard about ways to save the life I am in. If it wasnt for him I would be so happy where I am now.

Thank you for all your responses, I hope there is a way without losing everything xx

Get out and sort everything else later. I wasn't in an abusive relationship but I did lose my home after my divorce and slept on a friends floor for 9 months with 2 kids. Now i'm back and happy.

Everyone who looks back will say sod the money and the possessions, i'm ok and i'm happy.

Please go to the police and leave or tell him to.

bluenoseam

I'll echo everyone elses sentiments, you need to speak to the police & follow their advice, they will advise changing the locks (which you can do) and you will atleast be safe in your own home, it's not going to be straightforward, you probably already know that, but ultimately right now what's best for you is to have him charged & ensure your own safety as an immediate priority. Next i'd see if you can find someone through the Womens' charities who can put you in touch with advice with regards to seperations, i realise that's a pretty major step for some people but ultimately divorce could be an option, he's ASSAULTED you and abused you for a year now - no man EVER has the right to do that, no MAN will ever do so, only animals.

If you do things this way then it's likely (if you can prove you have paid the majority of the flat) you will get to keep what you've put into it, if you can afford to fly solo on the flat then do so, it's much better to be frugal than frightened, best of luck to you.

**confuzzled**

moodydonkey wrote: »

Everyone who looks back will say sod the money and the possessions, i'm ok and i'm happy.

Could not agree more! I lost my beautiful (rented) flat and most of my belongings....and I couldn't care less....I've got back my confidence, independence, friends, family and life. I didn't realise how many people hated him and stopped contact with me because of him and not one of them knew what/how to tell me for worry that it'd drive them further away:( That was the hardest and saddest part for me.

Littlemadam83

Seriously thank you everyone for all your posts, I really appreciate the time given to reply.

He punched me once in the chest, after a heated argument. Does this constitute me going to the police officially? I originally spoke to them in case it happened again and they would know that if I called there was a history of it. I forgot to mention that he is so sick he scraped his back shoulder with his nails, I assume to make it look like I'd attacked him?

He is not always angry and stuff so its not like I am constantly in danger, or I would have moved out. I just want to make arrangements before it does get to that stage, plus I cant take the emotional stuff anymore, I know I can be happier.

I have no money at the moment, am up to my overdraft limit, and it wont be until two pay days time I will have any decent cash as I am gettting no commission next month.

I hope this has answered others questions? I think I really need to talk to him when he is calm and just be nice and try and convince him to leave while starting divorce proceedings which to be honest I didnt want to have to focus on that, but just getting him away from me without losing the things I have worked hard for.

moodydonkey

flutterby_lil wrote: »

You don't have to lose everything - get him arrested and then get a......the word escapes me - they thing where he can't come near you. Is the place is joint names did you say and how long have you been married?

Well done for realising that this is the end and trying to act as swiftly and calmly as possible.

Injunction?

savingmummy

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Seriously thank you everyone for all your posts, I really appreciate the time given to reply.

He punched me once in the chest, after a heated argument. Does this constitute me going to the police officially? I originally spoke to them in case it happened again and they would know that if I called there was a history of it. I forgot to mention that he is so sick he scraped his back shoulder with his nails, I assume to make it look like I'd attacked him?

yes report him, once is enough!!

He is not always angry and stuff so its not like I am constantly in danger, or I would have moved out. I just want to make arrangements before it does get to that stage, plus I cant take the emotional stuff anymore, I know I can be happier.

I have no money at the moment, am up to my overdraft limit, and it wont be until two pay days time I will have any decent cash as I am gettting no commission next month.

I hope this has answered others questions? I think I really need to talk to him when he is calm and just be nice and try and convince him to leave while starting divorce proceedings which to be honest I didnt want to have to focus on that, but just getting him away from me without losing the things I have worked hard for.

i wouldnt mention wanting a divorce especially as his violent and abusive!
Do you think he will just up and leave you be?

adouglasmhor

moodydonkey wrote: »

Injunction?

Or an interdict if in Scotland.

polejunkie

flutterby_lil wrote: »

You don't have to lose everything - get him arrested and then get a......the word escapes me - they thing where he can't come near you. Is the place is joint names did you say and how long have you been married?

Well done for realising that this is the end and trying to act as swiftly and calmly as possible.

Shotgun???