Husband Punched Me For First Time

Missterious

Just over 3 years ago i finally left my abusive bf. I was only with him for 18 months, but it was hard. His abuse went from calling me names, to pushing me over and throwing chairs at me.

It took a lot of guts to leave him. I had relocated, i felt totally alone and stuck. He stopped me seeing friends and drinking socially and he made me feel guilty about visiting my family some weekends, he was evil.

Looking back now, i knew there was something wrong from the word go and i wish i hadn't let him control me and let a part of me die inside. And i should of not even moved in with him. You need to be selfish and think about yourself, and the cat ofc!

Get advice with what you can do, don't provoke his anger though, the injunction sounds the best idea.
I'm sorry you have no family to go back to, i was lucky in that respect.
I wish you the best of luck and to be strong.

MichaelCR

Men 'boys' who hit women don't deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else.

Get out of there now, Be strong and stand up, I can't put my self in your position, But the best thing to do would be to contact the police and file a complaint for domestic abuse, At least if something does happen again, Then you will have this on file and in your favor !

No woman deserves to be intimidated by there other half, Would you take being punched off someone else ? No you wouldn't. I wouldn't call him a man either, More like a coward.

Best of luck to you.

Dinah93

I left my abusive ex 3 years ago. 90% of the time it was verbal. Sometimes he'd get pushy, rape me or lock me outside all night with no clothes on. About a year in I found out his mother had had to call the police on him over 20 times since he was a teenager, still this didn't set off any real alarm bells for me. He directly owed me over £5000, and probably owed an additional £12,000 when I take into account all the debt I ran up covering him when he didn't work. I lost my house, and had to move back with my parents. Some things are a lot more important than money and I gave all that up willingly knowing to be happy and safe was more important.

You seem very calm, therefore I will answer in the same way. He has equal rights to be in the property if it is in joint names and you are husband and wife. If you want to retain it and stay there alone you would need to have a reason in law otherwise it could be sold and the proceeds split, or you would need to find the cash to buy him out of his half. As it stands it is likely he has a claim over the property, certainly has rights to live there. Do not underestimate the value of going to the police, even if it not your wish to go down the legal route. If you have an injunction against him you will be able to stay at the property alone at least until the divorce goes to court and assets are decided. If you go on this holiday, then try to claim he was violent, with no police report, there is no court in the world who is going to order him out the house with no evidence to say he's abusive except your word weeks later, as logic would suggest what person in their right mind would go on holiday with their abuser. Thats not me judging as we all know many people myself included shut up and put up for years, but the balance of probability starts to tip out of your favour and unless he offers to give you the property and just walk away you may find you end up with a whole lot less of what seems so important to you.

sharnad

I think that the OP should have had the police charge him and change the locks - but as she has decided to go on holiday she is probably hoping he will change and they can work it out. Am I right in thinking that though the OP has said she wants to buy him out, if she doesnt have him charged for the assault and leaves the home it will be harder for him to buy him out.

Littlemadam83

Hey everyone,

I hope some of you are still subscribed to this thread as so many people on here helped me so much and helped me find the strength to know I was making the right decision.

Well, over a year on I am in such a happier place. I am seeing someone new, he is amazing and makes me feel so loved, we laugh we play, and we are just so close, he really is amazing.

My ex ended up meeting someone new in September, and moved out in November (with her), I had to call the police one last time in this period, I scarpered as soon as I saw his anger to a neighbours and they took my complaint seriously, took down all the details and stayed with me while I collected my belongings for the night.

I still have the flat and bought him out, he has since had a baby and to be honest I feel really sorry for her and the child, but I do hope they are ok.

So this post is really a MASSIVE thank you to all those that helped, it really was the strength I needed to move on.

And to anyone else in this position, deep down you know it's not right, this was the scariest time of my life, but a year on I am so much happier and you can be too. Find the strength from others, message me if you feel alone, and just know you deserve more and you will get more. You are worth so much, and things will get better, just making that first step to your new life is the hardest part, it gets easier after that. I promise.

Thanks again everyone xxxx

From a happy Littlemadam xxxx

Mojisola

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Well, over a year on I am in such a happier place. I am seeing someone new, he is amazing and makes me feel so loved, we laugh we play, and we are just so close, he really is amazing.

Well done for being brave enough to deal with the situation.

Thanks for the update and best wishes for the future.

Littlemadam83

Mojisola wrote: »

Well done for being brave enough to deal with the situation.

Thanks for the update and best wishes for the future.

Thank you, looking back over the year and seeing how far I've come is fantastic. I really hope this helps others out there in the same boat xxx

glitter_fairy

really glad it worked out for you x

CH27

Well done for getting away from him & being so strong.
Best wishes for the future xx

waiax73

RUN AWAY FROM THIS PSYCHOPATH!!!!! It won't be any better, you have to admit it. Do it for yourself!!! I feel bad for you:((

Good Luck!!!!!