Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

Aberdeenangarse

soup wrote: »

she sounds fun, I like diy and can certainly nail a shelf up fairly straight.

Mate, I doubt she'd be interested, sounds like you've got problems with your tool :rotfl:

caeler

Next time the door goes, you invite her in and you and your husband sit her down and explain why you won't continue to help her and she must stop asking. Suggest she finds a local handyman service or asks her family for help. Showing a united front may help her finally accept the word no. Good luck.

Crisp_£_note

HeidiHi wrote: »

My next door neighbour is new and driving me nuts.

She's not in the least bit interested in me. When I said her cat was lovely just for something to say she replied "Not really" but didn't take her eyes off my husband's face.

She's bugging me, but more importantly bothering him.

Any advice?

What if she is hard of hearing and was lip reading your husband?

What is wrong with being a friendly neighbour? I think you just need to start from now on making it clear you can help but they will have to wait until its conveininet on your or his terms. And not always be available to help every time. Perhaps you could suggest a local adult education cause for basic DIY, maybe offer to go with her or perhaps you could highly recomend it (making her think about her own skills improvement).

I really think you or more to the point your husband, needs to be more obviously firm and explain what he already has to deal with in his own 'spare time' with college etc. Maybe a neighbourly street BBQ could find her more friends to rely on and your whole area can then share in trading favours in a more friendly manour. As someone else has already pointed out you will have to live next to these people for a long time so starting with grudges is not the way to go beleive me. What if one day you will have to rely or ask them for anything?

Pay it foward with a smile. If she pays for the parts and maybe bakes a cake or does some babysitting in return rather than payment with money so you and hubby can spend the odd night together without interuptions wont harm.

If he really feels that way then tell her and ask her whats wrong with her hubbys DIY or make conversation about how helpful such and such is (from a leaflet whether you use them or not in reality) and you know several people who can reccomend him as he was recomended to you. Maybe your husband could show her son the basics of DIY while you chat about women stuff, perhaps she has issues with her son and husband and shes asking for help??

Sometimes people need reassurance in a new neighbourhood.

Sometimes old fashioned ways and friendly unconditional neighbours solve a lot of longterm issues.

Otherwise refer her to the FREE B&Q's website with DIY guides and get her a housewarming gift on that local DIY builders cours or a DIY A - Z DVD and book, toolbelt, helmet and starter tool kit for xmas and say Bobs now retired ! Better still refer her to this thread and MSE !



Good luck.

Caliendo

I just think it's so weird that she moves in and immediately starts asking a complete stranger to come and do her DIY for her. Who does that? :eek:

She sounds odd and thick skinned, but if your hubby keeps saying No eventually she'll get the message surely?

I get why he feels uncomfortable though, I get squirmy when people don't behave like normal people too. You feel like you should be neighbourly, but she's taking the pee!

My boyfriend was a bit wary of moving in with me because most of my neighbours are retired ladies and we are a bit all up in each other's business! :rotfl: He's used to smiling and waving at his neighbours at a distance and that's all, so he wasn't sure how he'd feel.

My neighbours would chop their own arm off before asking him for help though. They pride themselves on being capable and independent, even though they're all well over 70.

The only way I could get them to let me do a few things for them now and again is to let them do a few things for me - so my cat lives like a little emperor while I'm at work with hot and cold running pilchards and the gas fire put on specially for him. My garden looks way better than I deserve, and I'm learning to bake! My baby is going to be the most adored child ever with lots of surrogate grandmas. She already has more cute knitted bootees and little jackets than any newborn is ever likely to need.

Your hubby needs to keep saying no, then she'll move on to an easier mark. Batting her eyelashes and saying it's too hard or too heavy indeed! I'd be too embarrassed to attempt such nonsense What a nerve! :eek:

bigmomma051204

To reinforce what others have said - your HUBBY needs to say NO and then NOT go and do it anyway, despite saying NO! He is saying NO, but then not backing up what he has said by trotting over there. I would be telling him in no uncertain terms that HE needs to sort this out... i would be hopping mad with her making doe eyes at him and him "protesting" but still following her over to hers like a puppy LOL..... Tell him to sort it out ASAP!
There are FAR too many women out there happy to disregard The Sisterhood and prey on other women's menfolk.... don't let your situation go this way Eeeeeekkkkk!!

Violetta_2

I hate these types the pathetic girlies -oh poor me I can't do anything, I need a big strong man to do everything for me- giggle giggle. You know the type. Apologies if I've jumped to conclusions, but in similar circumstances I'd think she had design's on my oh. I think I'd make sure I answered the door whenever she called "needing a man" & answer her by saying "you'll be lucky, he's been stuck to the bog for the last hour with the !!!!'s!!! surprised you couldn't smell his !!! in your house" think that'd put most of these types off.

GotToChange

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

Why so :mad::mad:? Of course no one is exempt of the ageing process, but some women do have problems with younger women for no obvious reason. Do I assume by your :mad::mad: that you are an older woman too? Maybe you have problems with younger women - have you thought about that? Or maybe you are menopausal or suffering from dry lady bits as previously mentioned and that's what's got your knickers in a twist - literally!

Don't assume anything - you would be quite wrong. Why are you demanding "answers" from me....? (I do realise that your questions are rhetorical.)
I find your post - and the previous one that I quoted - quite repulsive and strangely anti-female.
I have no problem whatsoever (nowadays) with any women of any generation or age - apart from some of those like you that I encounter on here. Ugly behaviour is not the sole province of older women - a fate that awaits you unless you know some superspecial trick.

Oh - and with hindsight, I should not have been so friendly with the family of my friend. They should have got their backsides onto the yard and helped their spoilt brat of a child with the animal themselves. The help with my car was offered - and to whoever asked, yes, at that point my husband had left me for the works cleaner. I suppose you or your sidekick have some comment about that too.

GotToChange

ska_lover wrote: »

Oh Hello!! If you read my post in its entirety, how I was laughing at how some older women make snide comments to younger women - even family members - out of jealousy and your snide little reply has proved my point entirely. How hillarous!! Hahaha!:p I've never witnessed someone walk so blatantly into something!!!

Anyway, back to the thread, Can I just ask the obvious..why would you ask a neighbour to do your jobs, when you had a husband of your own? Or if he doesn't have the neccesary skills, or if he had left by then, what's wrong with taking your car to a garage, rather than imposing on someone else?

You didn't have the right to expect your neighbour to spend his time helping you. It is little wonder his wife disliked you - whether there were romantic intentions or not, at the very least you were imposing on their family time together. Yet you try to come across as an innocent victim and do not seem to understand why she wouldn't like you.

There was nothing snide about my comment; I hope what I meant was blatantly obvious. I have no jealousy towards anyone and am more likely on the receiving end of nastiness for the reasons you infer. Not many women like the image that I portray and seldom bother to understand the person behind the facade.

I was wrong to refer to them as neighbours (although they lived close by) - the daughter was a friend - and if not a friend, certainly very reliant on me for assistance (almost total) with the care of the pony she was not physical ly able to manage. When I had car problems and no money, he helped me fix it - we are talking about three occasions over a six-seven year period. His wife was grumpy and moody with me over her daughter's reliance on me - the fact her husband was kind (and developed the "crush") was somewhat secondary. At that point, they had two daughters in wheelchairs and family life must have been hard; I helped them more than they helped me, that's certain. As it is, the elder daughter died age 23 and the father died last year - having been ground down by the precious family life. He was only 55.

I see you make no mention of how stupid I must have been in encouraging my husband to be kind to my then best friend.

Age aside, you make me very sad. And your attitude to me is awful.

kathy206

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

Or maybe you are menopausal or suffering from dry lady bits as previously mentioned and that's what's got your knickers in a twist - literally!

:TPost of the month just snorted my drink down my nose!!:T
:rotfl:

MickMun

Or perhaps her boyfriend is crap at DIY, father of her child has no interest in helping, and she doesnt want to lumber the landlord with lots of trivial things/wait a long time to have them done.

Possibly the OP is suffering slightly with jealousy that her husband is helping this other woman a lot.

Either way, if you say he's been helping her so much, there should be very little else left to do with the place and you can get back to your daily life and this will all blow over.