Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

Jo.1981

Try telling her that you'll add her list of jobs to the list of jobs you already have for him! Or you could try invoicing her for any work he does.

POPPYOSCAR

Barneysmom wrote: »

You could go with him, next time she wants a job doing, maybe she'll get the message then.

I don't think by the sound of things that would make any difference, these type of women just act as if the other woman is not even there.

Barneysmom

Just give her The Look.
You know the one, only women can do it.
She won't bother you again.

shy-but-need-help

We had a neighbour like this, at first I assumed she was genuinely needy as she was on her own with a baby and then she started calling DH at 1am (on the landline, she wasn't the brightest of bunnies) and asking did he want to go over for chinese or to watch a film and was I asleep! My DH was absolutely dumbfounded by it, he really is the picture of Catholic husband goodliness (his dad left them when he was tiny because of an affair, he has huge issues on the subject of cheating spouses and is very vocal about the fact) I found it absolutely hilarious as DH got to the point where he was running to the shop and back for fear she might try and stop him if he slowed down LMAO.

Our problem was solved by my keep going around instead everytime she asked for DH and then eventually a really weird couple moved into the house between us and everytime she asked for DH I told them she needed help and DH was working late and the weird man next door was so willing to go over that it didn't take her long to stop asking. (weird man next door was husband #6 for the weird lady next door... they truly were eventful neighbours to have)

Barneysmom

That is so funny! I love it

GotToChange

ska_lover wrote: »

Hahaha I love that comment - it must have hit a raw nerve there ooooooo!

There are some women like this aren't there, older females that seem to have a problem with younger women, and family members - I have noticed this. Its like, god damn love, you have had your youth - no need to be bitter! I am sure there is plenty to look forward to in old age, like vaginal dryness hahahaha

What a terrible attitude to have....are you exempt from the ageing process?:mad::mad:

In terms of the thread, I feel for you OP and you really do have to grasp the nettle and tell her what you feel if hints aren't working.
I have been the "neighbour" (it was the father of a friend who I would turn to with car issues [he was a mechanic for the Police]) and, although I didn't realise it, he developed quite a crush on me. His wife hated me because of it; the last time I bumped into her, she said - upon seeing that I had a different car, "It must be nice to have a car that works". Subtle eh? She has never spoken to me from that day to this and I see her out and about as she lives around the corner from me in a relatively small village. What made me most sad was that no-one told me when he died, until it was too late to do anything other than send a very belated condolences card.
I did nothing to encourage him - never would have. I genuinely needed help - in some ways, it balanced out (I thought, although not that it should have....) the help I gave to their daughter (yes, my own friend, although the same age as my daughter) with the pony she insisted on having despite being wheelchair-bound.....
The other side of the coin is that I encouraged my husband to help my (then single parent) friend with DIY; it blossomed into an affair that led to the downfall of my marriage.
The saying is, I think, "No good deed goes unpunished".

BitterAndTwisted

Gee, I dunno why being honest and brutally direct can't work. Something like "I think we've given you all the free handyman services we're prepared to offer for the sake of good neighbourliness. Please ask someone else in future. Goodbye." Preferably coming from your husband rather than you.

*Louise*

'Sorry I don't have the time, I've got a lot of DIY jobs to get done myself' could work (then suggest her own b/f could help) If he gives in she will just get worse over time.

My hubby is borrowed all the time for DIY jobs. Mainly by my mother, she just 'assumes' he will do it now. :mad: She has a window blind that has been waiting for three months to go up, mainly because I was annoyed that she bought it and commented, oh xxxxx will put it up, no bother before she had even asked him, so I told her he has got enough on at the moment and she will have to wait. (I do get on well with her really, but she tends to just assume things)

Aside from that he does jobs for the neighbours, cutting the grass, clearing paths etc etc. I don't mind, they are grateful...and they are ladies in their 50's and 70'sso no chance of me getting jealous

Mayflower10cat

I'm reading this thread and grimacing in sympathy as it's oh so similar to the situation we've had with a a neighbour/friend. I can't give much detail as t'internet is a public domain but the 'borrowing your husband' when her own husband needs to stop working so late and get home to sort his own house out rings very true.... I felt used by this person, as she'd happily drop in unannouced, offload all her problems while I made teas/lunches for her then almost blank me the moment my husband came home from work. She would ask for help very charmingly, and husband would always oblige. She would sit by me at social gatherings and chit chat with her eyes scanning the room until my husband or another male sat on my other side and then she'd literally lean over me and start a new conversation....

This would have carried on ad infinitum, but I'd had enough. I had a serious talk with husband and said how used I felt and that we only ever saw our neighbour when she wanted a favour.... He looked puzzled and a bit upset at first then he realised how true it was. We tentatively mentioned the situation to our other neighbours, very good friends of long standing. They also agreed, they'd done a lot of favours, more than their fair share....

The answer was to distance ourselves from the person, without being rude or unpleasant. We made ourselves unavailable for various favours and on few occasions I actually answered the door with my coat on and car-keys in hand (a few times I really was going out!) At a recent party I was sitting between a male and a female friend, chatting to both of them. The female friend went to the loo and our neighbour sat down in her seat. She barely acknowledged me then GRRRRRR!!! leant across me to chat to the male friend about their children and a recent school outing.... I'd had enough, so asked please could we swap seats as I'd been having a nice chat with my female friend...???

In this cooling off period, we haven't been asked any favours at at all. We've spoken in the street or when we bump into each other. But that's it. Noticeably, her husband has spent more time at home recently, not working over the weekend and getting back earlier at night.

It's a bit of a relief really!!!!

Cerisa

At the end of the day, as lovely as your husband no doubt is, he needs to be the one saying no, and actively dispelling her obvious attraction. One of the reasons I reckon this is making you so angry is that it's effectively out of your control.