Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

Angelic

Idiophreak wrote: »

Oh man, I had a couple of plumbers round earlier in the week and they came a few minutes early - so I was just getting out of the shower.

I hoped they'd assume that I was just getting ready for work, not that I was a bunny-boiling homo looking for someone to check my pipes

That depends on whether you dropped the towel and bent over or not;)

diable

I think this thread has run it's course we need a photo of the neighbour to gauge if you have anything to worry about..........

Heres mine,

CatValou

Steel wrote: »

The other way of looking at this is right then and there she needs help and is going to the closest person she can who seems a bit useful.

Why would you go to someone you've never met? How would they seem useful if you didn't know them? Surely the closest person would be her father or boyfriend, or anyone else she knows!

MickMun wrote: »

Or perhaps her boyfriend is crap at DIY, father of her child has no interest in helping, and she doesnt want to lumber the landlord with lots of trivial things/wait a long time to have them done.

So let's lumber the poor overstressed man next door instead? Nice.

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Note to self - asking for help from a neighbour is a dreadful, wicked, evil thing that no decent woman would think of.
Try and do it yourself even if you do not have the knowledge or strength or pick a name out of yellow pages and get ripped off or worse.

Asking for help from someone you know is fine so long as you don't take the mickey. Hassling a man you don't even know is just plain weird. It's not as if shelf building and telly hanging is an emergency.

I hope she's finally got the message Heidi.

HeidiHi

After about ten days of constantly knocking it's all gone quiet for about a week. She's woken us up doing the walk of shame at 6 or 7am some mornings but not asked for my husband to do her DIY for her anymore.

I still think it's bliddy strange behaviour. It's like the single fella the other side asking me to come round and do his housework just because I'm a woman and I've got my own vacuum cleaner and a mop.

I wouldn't and I don't see why my husband would either.

Thanks everybody. I needed to vent with people who don't know who I'm talking about. :T

dktreesea

Errata wrote: »

If your OH wants to help her out, he will. If he doesn't tell him NO is a very useful word.

Well put.

OP, I'm sure your husband is quite capable of refusing to help/turning down requests for tools etc etc all on his own, without you digging your oar in. If he is helping her, it's because he wants to. Maybe he likes the attention.

dktreesea

CatValou wrote: »

Why would you go to someone you've never met? How would they seem useful if you didn't know them? Surely the closest person would be her father or boyfriend, or anyone else she knows!

Asking for help from someone you know is fine so long as you don't take the mickey. Hassling a man you don't even know is just plain weird. It's not as if shelf building and telly hanging is an emergency.

The OP's OH sounds quite a catch. Kind and helpful, and probably cute given he caught the next door neighbour's interest to start with.

CatValou

dktreesea wrote: »

Well put.

OP, I'm sure your husband is quite capable of refusing to help/turning down requests for tools etc etc all on his own, without you digging your oar in. If he is helping her, it's because he wants to. Maybe he likes the attention.

He's not helping her.
He doesn't want to
The OP says he's stressed out by what you call "the attention".
He is refusing requests all by himself.
Maybe you should read at least the first post before replying.

The problem is how to get along with a weirdo neighbour not how to stick your oar in. Of course of none of his wife's business if he's getting stressed out.

dktreesea wrote: »

The OP's OH sounds quite a catch. Kind and helpful, and probably cute given he caught the next door neighbour's interest to start with.

Where did you get kind, helpful or cute from?

The neighbour pegged him as a stupid mug who'd come and do manual work in her house for free if she batted her eyelashes. That's not a flattering assessment.

It speaks volumes about the neighbour's attitudes to men but says nothing about the OPs husband at all.

She doesn't know the man so she doesn't know if he's "kind". He has refused her consistently, so not "helpful" either and as for "cute"...can grown men even be "cute"?

Percy1983

Not read it all, but my answer is:

Send an invoice of work completed.

starsandmoon

One thing that no one has commented on is the fact she is renting this property and has a landlord. Most landlords are pretty fussy over any jobs being done in their property even down to putting things up on walls (I wasnt allowed to put shelves or pictures up when I rented a flat). They often have their own DIY people or if it was an electrical job for example it is the law (in rented property) that a qualified electrician does it. So if your hubby went in and did a job for her and it went wrong the landlord could hold him liable for it!

For that reason alone I would refuse. I live alone with my DD and wouldnt dream of asking neighbours. I either wait until my boyfriend can do it or pay a professional. As for borrowing tools, I buy my own as I need them.

I keep my neighbours at arms length. There are a few I say hello to and chat about trivial things but the majority I dont know at all.