Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

ska_lover

GotToChange wrote: »

Your goodfriend BloominFreezing.
Getting the two of you mixed up - and it is so hard to know where the joke ends and the insults begin.
I take on board your comment about your workplace - but my belief is that sometimes, people are horrid to people regardless of age; this thread is a case in point, as despite assumptions, no-one really knows anyone else's age- although if you and BF are young-er/ish, then God help the future of society.

The future in society we plan is to run round in our pants covered in jelly. Im really quite looking forward to it!

euronorris

Errata wrote: »

If your OH wants to help her out, he will. If he doesn't tell him NO is a very useful word.

Yeah, I agree. I don't see why 'No, I don't want to.' is not a valid option. If she pushes, and asks why, you then say 'Cos I've got enough jobs to do on my own house thanks. If you need help, why don't you try one of the handyman from the yellow pages.'.

If she then asks again, maybe insisting it's just a very small job and would help her out soo much blah blah blah, you just repeat 'No, I don't want to.' and so on.

ETA: Sometimes skipping from page 2 to 5 is a good thing. I completely missed the other debate going on here. lol

euronorris

Crisp_£_note wrote: »

What if she is hard of hearing and was lip reading your husband?

If that were true, she wouldn't have heard (or been able to lipread) the OP's question about the cat.

Craftyscholar

euronorris wrote: »

Yeah, I agree. I don't see why 'No, I don't want to.' is not a valid option. If she pushes, and asks why, you then say 'Cos I've got enough jobs to do on my own house thanks. If you need help, why don't you try one of the handyman from the yellow pages.'.

If she then asks again, maybe insisting it's just a very small job and would help her out soo much blah blah blah, you just repeat 'No, I don't want to.' and so on.

Note to self - asking for help from a neighbour is a dreadful, wicked, evil thing that no decent woman would think of.
Try and do it yourself even if you do not have the knowledge or strength or pick a name out of yellow pages and get ripped off or worse.

jetta_wales

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Note to self - asking for help from a neighbour is a dreadful, wicked, evil thing that no decent woman would think of.
Try and do it yourself even if you do not have the knowledge or strength or pick a name out of yellow pages and get ripped off or worse.

There is a big difference between asking for the odd favour and nagging all the time bordering on harrasment lol.

MrsAtobe

jetta_wales wrote: »

There is a big difference between asking for the odd favour and nagging all the time bordering on harrasment lol.

I totally agree. In the past, I have borrowed a few things from my neighbour, and if he was free, he'd normally offer to give me a hand. More often than not, I would refuse, as I never tackled a job that I didn't think I could handle. Those jobs would either be done by my brother in law, at his convenience, or by someone that he knew who would do a better job. Now Mr A's on the scene, he does the diy!

I'd be just as uncomfortable as the OP if one of the neighbours was regularly turning up like this, although I suspect Mr A would put them straight in no uncertain terms.

euronorris

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Note to self - asking for help from a neighbour is a dreadful, wicked, evil thing that no decent woman would think of.
Try and do it yourself even if you do not have the knowledge or strength or pick a name out of yellow pages and get ripped off or worse.

Where did I say that asking for help was dreadful, wicked, evil or even that one shouldn't ask for help? Nowhere.

But, the OP does not want her husband helping out, for a myriad of reasons, and they are perfectly within their rights to say no, I don't want to.

Aren't their websites these days, with ratings from customers, to help ensure the average person doesn't get ripped off?

Jesswithwings

jetta_wales wrote: »

There is a big difference between asking for the odd favour and nagging all the time bordering on harrasment lol.

Exactly. When we moved in our neighbours would come in every day asking to use the phone or borrow something. They'd come in for quick medical consultations (both of us are medical) rather than go to the GP and ask us to drive them places or go to the shops for them as we have a car and they dont. It drove us insane. We eventually had to start saying no as it was getting ridiculous and they got the hump because we wouldnt take them to sainsburys or let them go on the internet for 10 minutes. They all but stopped talking to us for a couple of years and then slowly its started creeping back up again "can you look at my elbow.." "can I borrow this..." and its not like we're not neighbourly but at the same time some people take the p!ss.

I honestly think that some people have either warped social skills or a very out-dated view on what neighbours should behave like. Nowadays it just isnt sensible to let Barry from 2 doors down in to borrow the phone when I'm in the house alone with my 3 kids.. it makes me feel vulnerable and I shouldnt have to feel uneasy in my own home. These people just so happen to live in the same street as me, they are not my friends, I do not NEED or want them to be my friends.

To the OP I'm afraid this woman either IS hankering after your OH or she's socially challenged and can't seem to get it into her head that you're not at her beck and call. Either way I believe the only way to settle the matter is to be blunt. People like this are either too stupid or too full of themselves to take a subtle hint :mad:

p_joker

its easy your husband just says "sorry i would love to help but im going out" or "my lovely wife has just cooked my t maybe another time" and when next times comes come up with another reason she will soon get the hint.

euronorris

p_joker wrote: »

its easy your husband just says "sorry i would love to help but im going out" or "my lovely wife has just cooked my t maybe another time" and when next times comes come up with another reason she will soon get the hint.

I believe he is already doing that, and the message hasn't sunk in (or is being ignored).