Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

zaksmum

One of the women in my road latched on to my male next door neighbour. Started knocking on his door late at night for help with various "difficulties" including how best to handle her 14 year old ASBO son who needed a man to show him how to behave!

He was too nice and soft to be rude to her but as the weeks went on she was at his door every night.

Eventually his long suffering wife lost patience and next time the woman knocked told her to f#ck off and leave him alone. She took offence and hasn't bothered him since.

HeidiHi

Jo.1981 wrote: »

Try telling her that you'll add her list of jobs to the list of jobs you already have for him!

I'd be quite comfortable doing that. I don't want to be unkind, but my husband already has more than enough on his plate, but she won't talk to me apart from to ask for him.

Crisp_£_note wrote: »

What if she is hard of hearing and was lip reading your husband?

What is wrong with being a friendly neighbour?

She heard what I said perfectly without even glancing in my direction, so I shouldn't think she needs to gaze up at my huisband in order to hear what he's saying. Especially as he's so uncomfortable he's not saying anything if he can help it.

There's nothing wrong with being a friendly neighbour, and we are friendly. We just don't want to spend our precious leisure time doing her DIY. Why would we? We don't even particularly enjoy doing our own DIY! :rotfl:

Caliendo wrote: »

I just think it's so weird that she moves in and immediately starts asking a complete stranger to come and do her DIY for her. Who does that? :eek:

She sounds odd and thick skinned, but if your hubby keeps saying No eventually she'll get the message surely?

I get why he feels uncomfortable though, I get squirmy when people don't behave like normal people too. You feel like you should be neighbourly, but she's taking the pee!

Your hubby needs to keep saying no, then she'll move on to an easier mark. Batting her eyelashes and saying it's too hard or too heavy indeed! I'd be too embarrassed to attempt such nonsense What a nerve! :eek:

Oh thank goodness! That's what I think. It is strange isn't it? She moved in knocked to introduce herself, and immediately started asking him do stuff for her. Why would she even assume that my husband can do all these things? Just because he's a man? Why ask the stranger next door rather than your dad, son, boyfriend or landlord?

It's not that I think she's after my husband, I just want him to be able to read the paper in the back garden without her popping her head over and asking him to come and do some work for her.

I do think she might be the kind of woman who's only interested in men because when I answered the door to her her face fell. When I said my husband wasn't home she said "But his car's there!" in a belligerent sort of voice.

I don't think I'm a menopausal woman being mean to a more attractive younger woman either. I am menopausal, and she is younger and more attractive, but I'm not being unkind to her at all.

I did laugh when my youngest two answered the door to her and my son piped up "Why are you calling for my dad, you don't even know him." :rotfl:

My husband is knocking on in years and I know he already feels overwhelmed and exhausted and put upon most weeks. I just want the next door neighbour to stop trying to impose on him.

We're at a stage in life where we are working a lot to keep our heads above water, we have a young energetic child, and two teenagers, plus elderly relatives who need a lot of help these days with their shopping, cleaning, house maintenace and gardening.

We don't have anything left to help the woman next door that we don't even know.

On the plus side, she hasn't knocked for two days. :j

One day my husband might even feel safe enough to sit out in his own garden.

Or not run to the car with his head down and pull away like Ayrton Senna. :rotfl:

I just want him to be able to relax and have a bit of peace sometimes in his own home at the end of a long day.

I am a bit angry with her for trying to take that away from him.

HeidiHi

MickMun wrote: »

Or perhaps her boyfriend is crap at DIY, father of her child has no interest in helping, and she doesnt want to lumber the landlord with lots of trivial things/wait a long time to have them done.

Possibly the OP is suffering slightly with jealousy that her husband is helping this other woman a lot.

Either way, if you say he's been helping her so much, there should be very little else left to do with the place and you can get back to your daily life and this will all blow over.

You don't think it's at all strange to keep asking a complete stranger to do your DIY for you because you don't want to wait for your LL or ask your father, or your fella to help you? Her hulking great son could help with the "it's too heavy" stuff for goodness sake. What have I got to be jealous of?

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Note to self - asking for help from a neighbour is a dreadful, wicked, evil thing that no decent woman would think of.
Try and do it yourself even if you do not have the knowledge or strength or pick a name out of yellow pages and get ripped off or worse.

I think asking to borrow a tool from a complete stranger ten minutes after your dad has left your house carrying a tool box is odd.

Knocking on a stranger's door saying you need this stranger's help because something is" too heavy" for you to do alone when your teenage son is home and strong enough to help you, and your boyfriend is at the end of the phone, and it's only about 25 minutes since your dad left - is odd.

Not dreadful and wicked, but definitely odd.

Blobby8_2

Just tell your husband that next time she asks he is to say "I'm very sorry but my wife is a little jealous, and subsequently I havent had a jump since last time you asked for help, as I am partial to horizontal jogging I'm afraid you will have to get help elsewhere".

HeidiHi

You mean he should lie?

thorsoak

I would suggest that the next time she asks for your husband you tell her that he is having a nap after having a tiring day at work/studying/playing with your child. Ask her what she wants - and then tell her that you have to pay someone to do such jobs for you - does she want some telephone nos.

And of course - if she says "oh it will only take a minute" say in that case - I'll come and help!

Desperado99

thorsoak wrote: »

I would suggest that the next time she asks for your husband you tell her that he is having a nap after having a tiring day at work/studying/playing with your child. Ask her what she wants - and then tell her that you have to pay someone to do such jobs for you - does she want some telephone nos.

And of course - if she says "oh it will only take a minute" say in that case - I'll come and help!

I wouldn't - I'd just tell her to find some other mug to do her grunt work

Bogof_Babe

Has your husband said how this woman behaves towards him when he is in her house? Does she hang around him flirtatiously, or keep out of his way apart from to thank him sincerely when the job is done?

I'm wondering whether you are worried that there might be more to this than meets the eye... and I wouldn't blame you.

Blobby8_2

HeidiHi wrote: »

You mean he should lie?

I hope so.

barbiedoll

I think that the time for being nice, has long since passed. You don't want your husband to be trotting round there every few minutes, your husband doesn't want to be at her beck and call, so why not just tell it like it is? Don't bother being polite, just tell her that you and your husband are sick and tired of having a complete stranger knocking at your door at all hours of the day and night. She has her own boyfriend, so why doesn't she get him to do stuff for her? Let her know that you won't be standing for it, and she is NOT to knock again, unless it is a dire emergency or a matter of life and death.

Some people just don't take the hint, therefore, you must spell it out to her. No more favours!