Female neighbour always asking my husband for help round the house

HeidiHi

My next door neighbour is new and driving me nuts.

She keeps popping round to borrow a tool and then coming back a little while later to say she needs help because it's too heavy or it's too hard and expecting my husband to trot round there and build her shelves or put her television on the wall etc.

She has a teenage son who looks about 18 but I think must be more like 14 since she doesn't look old enough to have a teenage child, let alone an almost grown up one.

She has a dad who helped her move in, a boyfriend who's there a lot and a landlord, why can't she ask them if she needs jobs doing?

She's not in the least bit interested in me. When I said her cat was lovely just for something to say she replied "Not really" but didn't take her eyes off my husband's face.

She's bugging me, but more importantly bothering him.

He's a nice guy, but he has a full time job with a commute, a part time job and is doing a college course to update his skills, not to mention that he has kids who don't see enough of him and jobs to do in his own house.

So far he's always been in the middle of dinner, just going out, or revising because he had an exam in the morning when she's come round to ask for help but him saying No over and over again doesn't seem to have deterred her.

Any advice?

Plans_all_plans

I'd have a word with her myself TBH. You don't have to be blatant about it, just say that he has complained to you about her thinking he's a handyman and would prefer her to stop asking.

I wouldn't mind my husband helping a female neighbour now and again, but I would be wary of her motives if I were you and if a little comment like the one above doesn't deter her, I'd be warning her off in no uncertain terms myself!

Gillyx

If I was your husband I'd tell her how busy he is and he'l not be available to help with things like that, and maybe get the phone number of a local handy man etc who could and give her that.

mrcow

Next time she knocks and asks to borrow something, tell her it's gone missing or that you'll look for it later, or better still, that you don't have one.

Next time she asks if your husband can put up a shelf or something else, just tell her that he's no good at DIY and suggest that she looks in the Yellow Pages for a handyman. If she asks for any other jobs, tell her that he's too tired and is having a rest and again, suggest the local directory.

Nothing short of that is going to solve this.

And don't be friendly with her - she'll soon slink away.

mrcow

PS I had a similar problem with a neighbour (except it wasn't a woman) and eventually i just mentioned in passing that my husband was tired with people keeping on asking favours when he had a full time job etc.

He got the message very quickly and no cross words were said.

G51shopaholic

Tell her to get lost!
Make it perfectly clear to her that she needs to clear off and get her own man!

How many affairs have started this way - she sounds like she fancies YOUR MAN - tell her to take DIY lessons at B&Q!

pimento

I think I'd have to tell her fortune.

Errata

If your OH wants to help her out, he will. If he doesn't tell him NO is a very useful word.

Annisele

If I was your husband, I think I'd try "I'm useless at DIY; my wife takes care of all of that stuff but she's busy at the moment".

If the next query goes to you, then possibly she genuinely does want help with DIY - in which case I'd go with the suggestions of finding her a paid handyman.

If the next query still goes to your husband, then that would suggest she doesn't actually have any DIY problems.

Pee

Your husband needs to man up and deal with this himself. When I had lodgers, I did notice that I would mother the boys and yet when a girl lodger was getting help from my boyfriend all the time, it soon annoyed me.

I'm sure that you can trust him, but he needs to say no and mean it. If you deal with it, if I was her I'd be laughing at you getting so jealous and thinking I was in with a chance...

McKneff

To be honest I think its some sort of different 'tool' she's after.

Tell your OH to deal with it in your presence.