Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Person_one

poppyfield19 wrote: »

She asked me if she could stay off school tomorrow and I think we'll go out and get a cake or something, go for a walk with the dogs together etc. Just spend some time with her. Really upset tonight - because she seems to be.

Oh dear, poor thing. Maybe she wants to talk to you about it tomorrow when she's got you to herself without her sisters. You must be so worried, I think you're handling it well though.

Torry_Quine

poppyfield19 wrote: »

She asked me if she could stay off school tomorrow and I think we'll go out and get a cake or something, go for a walk with the dogs together etc. Just spend some time with her. Really upset tonight - because she seems to be.

That sounds like a good idea maybe a walk together in neutral surroundings will help her to open up. Glad that her father is supportive.

Look after yourself

Bettybigboobs

I have read the thread and do agree the OP is playing a wonderful part. I do however (speaking as a mother myself) think that you should know the details on the father now rather than later. Something is just not sitting right with me. I don't think the daughter/mother bond would be destroyed as others have said, if the mother demanded the name/details of the father. For her own sake of mind if nothing else, then the mother needs to know.

shellsuit

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Hi everybody, I am trying the best I can so to hear people say they think I am handling it well.... really helps. It really does, as I worry that I'm not.

Her dad phoned me back and didn't seem angry as such - long pause on the phone when I told him. First thing he asked was is she okay, then who's the father? Why didn't you tell me she had a boyfriend? Is he going to support her? I'll come over tonight if that's best?

He's just going to come down at the weekend as usual, I think he's really just shocked at the moment. He phoned me back twice after to ask was I being serious, is she okay? etc.

Anyway, I'm really worried about her. When I asked her about the father (I hope nobody thinks I have rushed into it, I didn't plan on getting her to contact him instantly or anything I just wanted to know my daughter was okay and nothing dodgy had happened to her). She started to cry and said she couldn't talk about it and asked if she could go to her room. I've checked her since and given her a hug, told her she doesn't have to talk about it yet.

Oh Lord

If it were me, I think i'd go up, put my arms around her and give her a big massive hug, and while she's in your arms, tell her it's important that she tells you because are worried that something bad happened to her.

Even if she can't tell you who the Father is, just a 'no nothing bad happened' should stop you from fretting. Maybe she's just really really embarrassed.

If she cries harder or says she doesn't want to discuss it, then you're going to have to push her to get the truth, but God knows how!

Or maybe pop a note under the door asking her to reply? Or email her/text her to ask as she might not want to say it out loud to you in person.

poppyfield19

Thank you.... that might be it. She told me earlier she doesn't want them to know anything is going on or upset them for no reason.

shell_girl

That sounds like a good plan for tomorrow.

She may seem more upset now as it's all probably becoming more 'real' to her - you know, her dad knows, seen a doctor, got a due date etc. Now it's out in the open, there are decisions to be made that she's probably been ignoring for at least a month bless her

I don't think it's too early to ask her about the dad, but if it's difficult for her to talk about then try and back off a bit- she'll tell you when she's ready.

poppyfield19

I think I might write her a note. When she was younger (a lot younger - 8, 9 etc) she would write notes saying she's sad or happy or thank you or I love you etc. Silly things, but she is quiet, and I think that could be easier for her. She is really worrying me though, I'e given her a hug and taken up drinks for her, but she's just sitting in her room doing nothing at all.

poppyfield19

Thank you. I think I should go and sit with her for a while, so she doesn't feel so alone.

shellsuit

poppyfield19 wrote: »

I think I might write her a note. When she was younger (a lot younger - 8, 9 etc) she would write notes saying she's sad or happy or thank you or I love you etc. Silly things, but she is quiet, and I think that could be easier for her. She is really worrying me though, I'e given her a hug and taken up drinks for her, but she's just sitting in her room doing nothing at all.

Then go back in, hold her and let her have a good cry in your arms.

She may be 15 and she may be pregnant but she's still your baby girl.:A

She needs to know that she's not on her own and that whatever she tells you, she can trust you.

Poor kid, she must be in bits


ETA : Maybe write a note, and say on it that you don't need a name, you just need to know that she wasn't forced into anything, so could she answer with a Yes or No. Maybe that will be easier for her x

POPPYOSCAR

Good idea to take her out tomorrow just the two of you.

It is good that her dad knows and he has taken it fairly well, his support will be invaluable to her as well, I am sure.

I feel for you, I really do. My daughter has just come into me for a hug before she goes to bed and I really emphasis with you as I know it could possibly happen to me one day.

Hope the support you have here and it is a lot!!! helps to keep you strong. Do you think you will tell anyone else in the family/ is there anyone who you could draw strength from?