My friend family are controlling her - I need help please

jetta_wales

Steel wrote: »

Impersonating someone?

It was my understanding that the nasty sister pretended to be the poor woman at the solicitors in an attempt to try and force a divorce through...

I don't get the divorce thing, you can't petition a divorce without informing the other person and it never a quick process unless you're both wanting it, have no quibbles and have very good and efficient solicitors.

Even if anything was sent to the court it would be weeks usually before the court got to it so plenty of time undo anything that has been done.

Steel_2

jetta_wales wrote: »

I don't get the divorce thing, you can't petition a divorce without informing the other person and it never a quick process unless you're both wanting it, have no quibbles and have very good and efficient solicitors.

Even if anything was sent to the court it would be weeks usually before the court got to it so plenty of time undo anything that has been done.

Ahhhh...you quoted me before I went back and edited my post.

I was sure I had read somewhere they had sorted the divorce out with false paperwork but for the life of me I can't find it when I go back through the first few pages. I'm thinking I got the whole solicitors and CAB thing mixed up.

jetta_wales

Steel wrote: »

Ahhhh...you quoted me before I went back and edited my post.

I was sure I had read somewhere they had sorted the divorce out with false paperwork but for the life of me I can't find it when I go back through the first few pages. I'm thinking I got the whole solicitors and CAB thing mixed up.

Sorry

I thought that was said too though. Maybe Blue'll clarify at some point.

billiebimbo

Hi Blue Monkey
I worked for Social Servies and contrary to what you hear all the time in the press there are some good ones out there - this woman is putting herself and her childrens welfare at risk and as such it is all of our responsibility to get this woman assessed immediately. Children's services can insist the father be given residency if the welfare of the children is in question and he is considered a safer option they will place with him. The children must come first in this situation. I don't beleive leaving children with their mother at all costs is the right way forward. The man in this situation may be non - confrontational or even nervous about which way to proceed (very often the case with abused partners) and he may need support which social services can offer him too. As he is married and they are (presumably?) his biological children he has automatic rights. He should immediately apply for an order which will stop her not only from leaving the country but also not leaving the area. Advise him to get a solicitor immediately (legal aid should cover it if he is on a low income) and phone children's services immediately and report those kids as at risk and vulnerable - also report the mother as a vulnerable adult - this will prompt a safeguarding review within 24 hours - this situation needs to be brought to the authorities attention before tragedy ensues - good luck with this xx

MrsAtobe

RAS wrote: »

In which case, this may now be a criminal investigation and you probably need to be very careful about posting, not least because you may be considered a prosecution witness.

RAS beat me to it! Please be very careful, you want these people to get their comeuppance, not to prejudice any trial.

Has your friend's OH done anything yet about the passports?

I think you've been an outstanding friend, and I wish all of you the very best.:T

blue_monkey_2

OK everyone. No, there are no more details, sorry. As much as I would love to, I can't.... because. Everything I have put here is what I have told the police and everyone else who might now be involved.

While this seems to be 'the end' this is not for my friend, I have told her husband to give her space, not get in her face and to be there when she needs to be and then away when he is not. She is going to have to divulge into her past, something she has never done, to be able to move on from this. She has to grieve for the family she has lost. Although she lost them a long time ago, this is different IYSWIM.

Now she has space she can be the person she is, wihtout them all hanging around her neck. She is stuck with me now though. I am under no illusion how hard this is going to be for her at all. I have been there and I think this is why we are friends. It sounds very sorny, but I find I often meet people through my life who have been through the same experiences and I have been able to help them get closure on their pasts. It is strange. Maybe my crap life was for a reason - I am the person I am now, for a reason, to help us.

But I will stop with the corny crap, anyone would help a friend who was in this situation because it was truly awful, I too sometimes thought 'they have beaten me, will not let her see me' so I can only begin to imagine how her husband must feel - and for 17 years FGS.

I found out today that I am the only friend she has had since she has been with her husband. Her parents have never allowed her to have friends. How awful. but I guess people talk to their friends. Hopefully, the start of a new and better life, it is going to be a very long road for her though, there is absolutely no denying that.

blue_monkey_2

Passports have been dealt with. Thanks for asking, I told him to sort this and get anything else they have taken.

When I said I have not finished with them, I only gave last nights information, I will be making sure they have the rest of the information too. They have done more than just the things on this thread. Scary, scary people.

looby75

well done BM, you have been a total star and I'm so pleased that the police are taking action.

I hope you friend can carry on finding the strength to move on from this and that she finds a peaceful and happy life in the future.

jetta_wales

blue_monkey wrote: »

Passports have been dealt with. Thanks for asking, I told him to sort this and get anything else they have taken.

When I said I have not finished with them, I only gave last nights information, I will be making sure they have the rest of the information too. They have done more than just the things on this thread. Scary, scary people.

I am very glad that all is finally well in the open and that they will now be under a very bright light for some time I'm sure.

Has any counselling been arranged for your friend yet? It sounds like she will be definitely in need of it to help her get back on her feet and recover from their behaviour all her life.