His parents don't know there is a baby :O

abby1234519

RAS wrote: »

You can make a mobile if you want. Saw a gorgeous one made from sea shells, feathers and dried fruit slices covered in coloured wax. Or use use fabric scraps.

oooh I hadn;t thought of that. Would be nice to make something as my little 8 year old sister wants to create something for him. Although I'd have to make it hang from the cot or ceiling? Shes already made him a "robot" a "dinosaur pet". I shall have to get investigating as the idea of having something homemade is really sweet!

marywooyeah

Firstly congrats on the uni results - I got a 68, 66 and 76 in some of my assessments so I share your enthusiasm!

I hope your plageriusm thing works out, but from what I understand if it goes against you it can have serious implications for the future of your degree.

I'm slightly confused that you say your maternity grant went mostly on a cot and other bits, but then you say you got the cot off freecycle? You didn't pay for it off freecycle did you? that kind of defeats the object!

FWIW I think you're doing well, you seem organised and I sympathise with the SPD.
x

abby1234519

marywooyeah wrote: »

Firstly congrats on the uni results - I got a 68, 66 and 76 in some of my assessments so I share your enthusiasm!

I hope your plageriusm thing works out, but from what I understand if it goes against you it can have serious implications for the future of your degree.

I'm slightly confused that you say your maternity grant went mostly on a cot and other bits, but then you say you got the cot off freecycle? You didn't pay for it off freecycle did you? that kind of defeats the object!

FWIW I think you're doing well, you seem organised and I sympathise with the SPD.
x

I am rather jealous of your highest mark ^^

Yes I did get a cot but also bought one because....a kind lady offered a mothercare cot bed (to my mothers excitement). When we went to put it together a few weeks later it turn out to be broken, ie you could use it as a cot bed but not a cot as the catch holding it on one side was broken. And mothercare couldnt source the spare part as I think the cot is about ten years old.

So gave it away as a cot bed without the sides to a gentleman who wanted a bed for his 3 year old. And went off to the Stork Exchange in kendal and bought another second hand one which appears to be fine!

marywooyeah

well the 76 was in a moot not an exam, but it means I only need 44 to get a 2:1 overall in criminal law so :beer:

that sounds really frustrating over the cot/cot bed fiasco, glad you're sorted now.
has the ex paid up yet? x

abby1234519

marywooyeah wrote: »

well the 76 was in a moot not an exam, but it means I only need 44 to get a 2:1 overall in criminal law so :beer:

that sounds really frustrating over the cot/cot bed fiasco, glad you're sorted now.
has the ex paid up yet? x

No today he has informed me that he is still in Cyprus and will give me the price of the cot which was £90 plus mattress that I haven't yet bought which might be £70 so thats £160 plus anything else he can afford "soon". Not that I have told him how much cots cost. I'm going to see what he offers.

I really am perplexed as to why he is doing this. Does he see it as a goodwill gesture because he does realise he has SOME responsibility or what! This isn't going to be an ongoing thing, I think the idea is to make a contribution initally and then....well....

vroombroom

Abb how are you fixed for clothes and stuff? I've got a few little bits 0-3months that my lad is growing out of if you want me to send it x

Plans_all_plans

abby1234519 wrote: »

I really am perplexed as to why he is doing this. Does he see it as a goodwill gesture because he does realise he has SOME responsibility or what! This isn't going to be an ongoing thing, I think the idea is to make a contribution initally and then....well....

Look, I know it's hard, but try not to be too hard on him. He's young, stupid and doesn't have to take the same level of responsibility as you do over this, because he is a man and as such can't give birth!

He knows in the back of his mind he should be helping you, but he can't quite bring himself to do it as it doesn;t seem real to him yet! Once the baby arrives, I suggest you keep him involved by sending pictures, cards etc etc so that he feels a link to the child. I think the fact that he's not totally told you to clear off and not contact him again tells you a lot about him...I think ongoing maintenance might happen if you keep him involved.

abby1234519

esmf73 wrote: »

Edit - Abby - would you like a babygate? My Mum lives in Ilkley near Leeds so I could deliver it sometime. PM me if there is anything else you need and if I can help.......

That would be wonderful! I'm not there at the moment, might go down next week (yes braving the trains at 39 weeks). I was given one on freecycle but its missing the screwy circley bits. Why do I keep being given half built things :O

esmf73 wrote: »

Abby,

Just read this in one of your posts "The only information I have is that his father left them when they were young and that his mother is mentally ill, possibly bipolar. And his greatgrandad committed suicide. I know he has an older brother and a younger sister."

For the sake of Joshua I'd suggest you get in touch- simply because there are reports that mental illness, such as bipolar can run in families - this may be why his great grandad committed suicide. Best of luck.xx

I really don't know how to now! I tried locating some sort of email online for his dad but the only thing I can find is something that is possibly a corporate email and how do I know thats even his :O

My family has a history of mental illness so I asked him for his family medical history

abby1234519

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Look, I know it's hard, but try not to be too hard on him. He's young, stupid and doesn't have to take the same level of responsibility as you do over this, because he is a man and as such can't give birth!

He knows in the back of his mind he should be helping you, but he can't quite bring himself to do it as it doesn;t seem real to him yet! Once the baby arrives, I suggest you keep him involved by sending pictures, cards etc etc so that he feels a link to the child. I think the fact that he's not totally told you to clear off and not contact him again tells you a lot about him...I think ongoing maintenance might happen if you keep him involved.

I'm not hard on him! I'm oddly very nice to him and have never once gotten angry with/at him. I've just accepted the situation BUT felt his parents should know and things. Then with regards to the money well, I appreciate it. He does reiterate every now and then his desire to be completely uninvolved, so I do think he doesn't feel a link, he's just trying not to be a complete get

abby1234519

vroombroom wrote: »

Abb how are you fixed for clothes and stuff? I've got a few little bits 0-3months that my lad is growing out of if you want me to send it x

I've got quite a few vests (things without legs) and scratch mittens. I MIGHT be ok for the 0-3 months, it will be in 3 months time when I realise I have NO 3-6 that I panic!

Although, you know more than me, I have no idea in reality what I need