Dad associating with convicted sex offender

sassyblue

pimento wrote: »

Don't shoot me down, but it is possible your dad is in any way involved with the photos?

Sad to say l'm wondering why the father wants this vile excuse as a friend and why he tries to get him to stay with you knowing you have kids....

I'd write back saying 'No you're not banned from seeing your grandchildren, but you can only have supervised visits while you have him as a friend because l will NOT allow them to be at risk in any way. I would have told you this myself but you had your heart attack'

If you don't want to mention supervised visits, then don't say it but make sure he's NEVER alone with your kids, even walking them to the shops. Not sure if your dad is doing/thinking anything untoward but l sure wouldn't give him the chance.

You are not going mad, there's 4 of you feeling the same, don't be swayed from your worries, it's how abusers gain access to children. :mad:

underanewname

pearl123 wrote: »

I'd been inclined to say that if you father accepts the behaviour of his friend then - he views what he has done as ok and not a problem. Rather sick wouldn't you say?

Anyone who was a friend of a sex offender would be no friend of mine - children or not. They pray on the vunerable - sicko's.

Bye the way - I've so far taken you at your word - your story - but I'll be watching to see if you too turn out to be a troll. You have the benefit of the doubt for now!

it does sound too bizarre to be real i know- being a long term member ive come across a fair few on here myself!:D
i didnt want to give my real name as on here lots of people know me and a public company i work for, its my only source of income so worried they wouldnt like it if i am linked to my dad and his weird affection for mad men:(

CH27

I couldn't be around or in contact with anyone who condoned what this man has done.

pearl123

underanewname wrote: »

he wants me to answer via letter immediately whether i am "banning him form seeing his grandkids" seeing as hes never paid interest in us or them for years i find that all rather bizarre

It's simple either you don't let him see his grandkids or as someone else said let him see them only whilst accompanied.

I'd be inclined to not let him due to his acceptance of "sex offences".

By the way I believe you can legally post a picture of an offender but if you state anything that is not true you can yourself be prosecuted ! Something to be aware of.

underanewname

I know--sat in tears now-- i may have to accept my dad is a weirdo too and thats why he finds it normal.
it makes me feel sick, luckily he lives far enough away so dont have to worry about bumping into him.
even more worrying is when my brother tackled him about Tom making the images my dad said "if you think hes bad then you dont even want to know about your uncle ......" !!!!!!:eek: now my brother cant go round my uncles , dont know if dads just stirring it there or the familys full of em:(

Sambucus_Nigra

sassyblue wrote: »

I'd write back saying 'No you're not banned from seeing your grandchildren, but you can only have supervised visits while you have him as a friend because l will NOT allow them to be at risk in any way. I would have told you this myself but you had your heart attack'

What then when the dad says 'no worries, he isn't my friend any more'...yeah right...

Best to just keep them away entirely.

Bloomin_Freezing2

OMG, what a horrible situation to find yourself in!

Why on earth would your dad put this guy before his family? Very bizzare, and as he down played it all, seems as though he has something to hide. NOT saying your dad is the same as this guy, but why on earth would he act this way??

You should call the police and give a few names including your uncle to see if they have convictions as you are concerned for your kids safety. It's under 'Sarahs Law' I believe.

In my opinion, i'd keep away from your dad for a while at the least until he see's where his loyalties should lie.

sassyblue

underanewname wrote: »

I know--sat in tears now-- i may have to accept my dad is a weirdo too and thats why he finds it normal.
it makes me feel sick, luckily he lives far enough away so dont have to worry about bumping into him.
even more worrying is when my brother tackled him about Tom making the images my dad said "if you think hes bad then you dont even want to know about your uncle ......" !!!!!!:eek: now my brother cant go round my uncles , dont know if dads just stirring it there or the familys full of em:(

Ah hunny don't be upset. It could be that this man has been ostracised and your dad is trying to be a support to him in a misguided way, like 'see my family still want to know you'??

It doesn't mean your dad is upto anything sinister but still you are on your guard and that is great. Your kids are lucky to have such a caring mummy!

RacyRed

I find it odd that your Dad sent this guy to you when you were obviously heavily pregnant. Wierd in itself. Did he ever explain why he did that?

And is there a contact pattern here? You say you did not have much contact with your dad while the friend was in prison, but now dad wants back in your life again. That is ringing big alarm bells with me.

Sorry, but I'd shut them both out of your kids' lives and bolt the door very firmly. It doesn't sound as if your kids have a close relationship with their grandad anyway?

I'd just be straight and tell your dad his attitude makes you very uneasy and you don't want him influencing your kids in any way.

Apricot

You are not overreacting at all. Honestly if I were in your situation I would be completely cutting off contact from your dad too. If he can't see that this man has done something wrong, then he is not the sort of person I would want to have in my life.