Dad associating with convicted sex offender

underanewname

hi
I am a long time member of the site but because its such a weird problem to face and dont want other family getting upset if they knew id posted it , ive registered as a new member for this:(
basically my dad has been friends with a bloke for years, he used to give us the creeps when i was a kid so we called him wandering eye tom... little did we know then:eek:
a few years back my dad phoned up saying his frind had been convicted of kidnapping a prostitute and it was all silly and the man was innocent.
well i was doubtfull as the story was bizarre to say the least but in mid conversation my dad told me the bloke had only come off the sex offenders register.
i was shocked to say the least!
i asked dad what he had done before and dad clamed police framed the man and put images of kids on his computer, well i didnt believe that at all as it takes more than that to get a conviction, they dont do it lightly and im sure it has to be pretty serious content as they grade it dont they?
dad then started ranting you cant prosecute for what a man thinks about etc and i said well to think and look at kids means you are pretty sick and if i thought about stuff like that id either kill myself or get mental help..its just plain wrong:(
anyway we didnt discuss it after that-the bloke got jailed and he wasnt mentioned again although i didnt really see dad after that as his opinions on "looking at kids being ok" seemed rather creepy.
not long ago the friend was released from prison and my brother was freaking out as my dad wanted to take him round his house:eek:
it was then revealed to me that the man wasnt done for looking at images the first time---he was done for making them:mad:
now dad knew this and deliberatly lied about it, knowing all that time and not saying anything.
furher more once he sent the man across the country to my house and went off his head because i refused to let him stay.
this was before i found out about all his convictions etc-fortunately because of the stress my waters broke and i was in hospital and oh said he wouldnt let him in.
all i know of the man at that point was he used to creep me out when i was a kid and i have kids so didnt want him around them.
however my dad knows what he is and what hes done but seems to think its all normal.
i cant get my head around it all- anyway dad phoned 2 weeks ago wanting to come up and he asked if anything was upsetting me, i told him straight i couldnt fathom why he was hanging around with the man and i couldnt figure out why he had lied about the bloke looking at images when he was making them, dad then said oh i watched st trinians, its all perfectly ok etc..he then said he was having a heart atack ( he does this when things arent going his way) so i pohned up brother who lives nearby and he just said oh dads doing his usual..have a pretend heart attack when he isnt getting his way.
anyway hes not dead:o
a letter arrived this moring stating he should be furious with me and cant fathom why im angry with him , hes disapointed in my behaviour (like im 5) and he states am i banning him from visiting his grandchildren in italics. well i never said that at all, mainly as i never had chance as he had the "heart attack"
he wants me to answer via letter immediately whether i am "banning him form seeing his grandkids"
seeing as hes never paid interest in us or them for years i find that all rather bizarre- i presume hes doing it as knows the only hing i really care about is my kids-hence why i dont see his reasoning for hanging around with a convicted peodophile/protitute kidnapper:eek:
please give me your views on this as im rapidly losing the plot, i dont expect many/any of you have been in this situation but any help would be gratefully recieved-as ever

pimento

underanewname wrote: »

hi
I am a long time member of the site but because its such a weird problem to face and dont want other family getting upset if they knew id posted it , ive registered as a new member for this:(
basically my dad has been friends with a bloke for years, he used to give us the creeps when i was a kid so we called him wandering eye tom... little did we know then:eek:
a few years back my dad phoned up saying his frind had been convicted of kidnapping a prostitute and it was all silly and the man was innocent.
well i was doubtfull as the story was bizarre to say the least but in mid conversation my dad told me the bloke had only come off the sex offenders register.
i was shocked to say the least!
i asked dad what he had done before and dad clamed police framed the man and put images of kids on his computer, well i didnt believe that at all as it takes more than that to get a conviction, they dont do it lightly and im sure it has to be pretty serious content as they grade it dont they?
dad then started ranting you cant prosecute for what a man thinks about etc and i said well to think and look at kids means you are pretty sick and if i thought about stuff like that id either kill myself or get mental help..its just plain wrong:(
anyway we didnt discuss it after that-the bloke got jailed and he wasnt mentioned again although i didnt really see dad after that as his opinions on "looking at kids being ok" seemed rather creepy.
not long ago the friend was released from prison and my brother was freaking out as my dad wanted to take him round his house:eek:
it was then revealed to me that the man wasnt done for looking at images the first time---he was done for making them:mad:
now dad knew this and deliberatly lied about it, knowing all that time and not saying anything.
furher more once he sent the man across the country to my house and went off his head because i refused to let him stay.
this was before i found out about all his convictions etc-fortunately because of the stress my waters broke and i was in hospital and oh said he wouldnt let him in.
all i know of the man at that point was he used to creep me out when i was a kid and i have kids so didnt want him around them.
however my dad knows what he is and what hes done but seems to think its all normal.
i cant get my head around it all- anyway dad phoned 2 weeks ago wanting to come up and he asked if anything was upsetting me, i told him straight i couldnt fathom why he was hanging around with the man and i couldnt figure out why he had lied about the bloke looking at images when he was making them, dad then said oh i watched st trinians, its all perfectly ok etc..he then said he was having a heart atack ( he does this when things arent going his way) so i pohned up brother who lives nearby and he just said oh dads doing his usual..have a pretend heart attack when he isnt getting his way.
anyway hes not dead:o
a letter arrived this moring stating he should be furious with me and cant fathom why im angry with him , hes disapointed in my behaviour (like im 5) and he states am i banning him from visiting his grandchildren in italics. well i never said that at all, mainly as i never had chance as he had the "heart attack"
he wants me to answer via letter immediately whether i am "banning him form seeing his grandkids"
seeing as hes never paid interest in us or them for years i find that all rather bizarre- i presume hes doing it as knows the only hing i really care about is my kids-hence why i dont see his reasoning for hanging around with a convicted peodophile/protitute kidnapper:eek:
please give me your views on this as im rapidly losing the plot, i dont expect many/any of you have been in this situation but any help would be gratefully recieved-as ever

Don't shoot me down, but it is possible your dad is in any way involved with the photos?

Mupette

oh dear

I'd be upset if my father was friends with someone known as a sex offender,

But before we do tar this 'creepy tom' how do YOU know what he has and hasn't been done for,

Please don't say my mate's sister's brothers aunt.

how was it revealed to you.. if you have your facts straight that you have been informed by a probation officer or police officer then fine you have your proof, and i would write to dad saying no not banning you from seeing your grandchildren, don't write anything else otherwise you both will be writing 60 page essay style arguments.

I'm with you that you have not allowed this person into your home if there is a chance he has offended.

Your dad's attitude worries me tho, why would a man find what his mate has done as ok?

Sambucus_Nigra

pimento wrote: »

Don't shoot me down, but it is possible your dad is in any way involved with the photos?

This.

I'd reply saying 'I wasn't going to but as you mention it - yes, I am now hereby banning you from seeing my children as any man who doesn't see those qualities in a 'friend' as being just wrong should not be near kids'.

easilydistracted

I hope you don't mind me replying to this from the point of view of someone who works in this line of work (social worker) rather than a parent in this situation. People who are grooming children for abuse are good at manipulating people and therefore can 'groom' adults too to make it seem like their abuse is less serious or that it is understandable. The most innocent explanation for your father's behaviour is that this is what has happened. The aim of grooming adults is to access children. I would therefore not allow your father to see the children unsupervised and would not let this man anywhere near your home. It seems clear your father is not protective enough to judge who is safe to be around children and even if this man comes off the scene others may appear. I would suggest you are very firm and clear with your father and do not back down, making clear you feel he is a poor judge of character. I am sure the safety of your children is a lot more important that whether your father is in a sulk with you. He needs to take responsibility for his own behaviour and choices at the end of the day. I hope that is some help.

rachbc

Regardless of what his friend may or may not have done your dad thinks its ok to think about children in a sexual way. This isn't about who he associates/ is friends with its far more worrying than that....

underanewname

hi thanks
well yes it does make me worry about my dad tbh:eek:

there is a link to the prostitute kidnapping saga. but i cant post it as under a new name:mad:
if you google the words teeside musician, tom jackson protitute kiddnapper jailed..you may get it in the northern echo and gazette

now thats scary enough but dads told me himself now the man was making images and when my brother asked him he wont tell him what they were. even my older brother who dad generally gets on with has got no snse out of him on this. theres now 4 of us feel ill with his resoning and the others dont know for their own sanity:(

pearl123

I'd been inclined to say that if you father accepts the behaviour of his friend then - he views what he has done as ok and not a problem. Rather sick wouldn't you say?

Anyone who was a friend of a sex offender would be no friend of mine - children or not. They pray on the vunerable - sicko's.

Bye the way - I've so far taken you at your word - your story - but I'll be watching to see if you too turn out to be a troll. You have the benefit of the doubt for now!

pimento

Is it this one?

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/crime/4389442.Musician_is_jailed_for_kidnap_of_prostitute/

underanewname

"The court heard that Jackson was convicted of making indecent images of children in 2003. After his arrest in January, he told police he loved his wife, but visited prostitutes because she had lost her sex drive"

that is from the newspaper article -sorry i cant post the link:(

underanewname

yes thanks it is! the photos scary enough isnt it:eek: