Boyfriend help

Flyboy152

justanotherregularuser wrote: »

I am as my user name suggest another regular user hiding. Earlier on i was on facebook and my boyfriend was messing around asking to look at my messages. I have nothing to hide so i let him have a look and there was nothing interesting for him to look at. I the jokingly said let me look at yours now see what secrets you have. The look on his face was a picture. :eek: So i pushed a bit more and insisted that he log in and let me look. He really didn't want to and tried to tell me that he couldn't remember his password etc but eventually he did log in. He reluctantly showed me a few of the messages at the top and then closed the page and refused to go back saying he'd shown me what i wanted to see. He didn't log out though and later on i reopened the page and managed to read his messages. There was nothing there to worry me at all and if he'd just have shown me in the first place then there wouldn't have been a problem. We've just spoken now and he said he was worried about messages that other people had sent him coming on to him. So i said that would have been fine because he would of course have being saying thanks but no thanks. :rotfl::mad: Now he's turning it all on me and saying that i don't trust him and that he does so much for me i should just leave him alone etc and got angry with me.

I don't even know why i'm posting this cause i know what everyone will say. I think i just need to confirm i'm not mad and he has got something to hide cause he's very good at making everything my fault.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound very bright, does he.

ViolaLass

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

Ever heard the saying "those with nothing to hide HIDE NOTHING!

Your Gf should be able to look at anything she wishes , be it emails , facebook or text messages. The same should go for you.
...

But couples could have something to hide from each other that isn't detrimental to the relationship e.g. birthday presents, anniversary surprises etc. My husband can have the password to my email any time he likes and vice versa but we would ask before barging in to look at things.

rachbc

I don't have anything at all to hide but I would go mental if my hubby was reading my fb messgaes/ phone or whatever without my knowledge or even asking to tbh. Because I trust him and expect him to trust me but also because we are both entitled to our privacy - and I don't want him to know how dull I really am talking to my mates about sewing and cakes!

no-oneknowsme

Each relationship is different I guess but the one thing we all agree on is that partners SHOULD be allowed to look at emails/tesxts/facebook IF they ask to see it.

In the case of the OP her partner practically refused to let her look. This is what would araise suspicions if it were my partner.

Im glad I have nothing to hide from mine lol.

justanotherregularuser

Thank you for the replies

Evren wrote: »

If he's mature enough, and you are as well, then you should be able to talk about it like adults, facebook is terrible for worried people, and even worse when your SO doesnt want you to see things, it might just be embarrassment or something daft.
Who knows what goes on in the minds of men.

Major_Misunderstanding wrote: »

I think you are right. Just come out with your suspicions (
1. A feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true) - and see if he squirms, gets angry, gets defensive, gives you a Paddington Bear stare. You know, that sort of thing.

I Spoke to him about it last night and he just avoided the questions and started having a go at me instead. He said that an ex of his had sent him messages on fb before saying she missed him etc. That's what he was worried about me seeing. That would have been fine with me though and he knows it. I can imagine the conversation wasn't as one sided as he'd like me to believe though. He's quite angry with me now for dragging up the past when he's been having rude conversations with other women and i've found out about it. i didn't mention the other times though last night i just told him not to lie to me. He gets like this when he's feeling guilty.

Flyboy152 wrote: »

Your boyfriend doesn't sound very bright, does he.

I think he thinks i'm not very bright and i'll believe all the bullsheet that comes out of his mouth.

justanotherregularuser

rachbc wrote: »

I don't have anything at all to hide but I would go mental if my hubby was reading my fb messgaes/ phone or whatever without my knowledge or even asking to tbh. Because I trust him and expect him to trust me but also because we are both entitled to our privacy - and I don't want him to know how dull I really am talking to my mates about sewing and cakes!

If he hadn't have wanted to see mine i wouldn't have asked to see his. I was only joking anyway i didn't really want to see them but his reaction told me everything i needed to know.

relic

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

No Relic , I dont think I do need to re-read your post. Given that you said the above and quote ME then I think it was a safe bet for me to assume that you were referring to me!

Just thought I would point out that I didnt have any trust issues in my relationship as the OP has.

I wasn't refering to you, and I pointed that out in my second post.

Obviously you don't have any trust issues, as you have pointed out twice, yes, twice. You sound like you are trying to convince yourself!

caledonian_princess

rachbc wrote: »

I don't have anything at all to hide but I would go mental if my hubby was reading my fb messgaes/ phone or whatever without my knowledge or even asking to tbh. Because I trust him and expect him to trust me but also because we are both entitled to our privacy - and I don't want him to know how dull I really am talking to my mates about sewing and cakes!

Oh good I was starting to think that I must be quite odd, I'd also go mental if my OH looked at my phone/email and I wouldn't dream of looking at his. My phone has a code on it, it always has - I don't know about OH's phone because I've never been anywhere near it. I don't have anything to hide and I have no reason to believe that he does either it's simply a matter of respecting each others' privacy.

(I also have very dull conversations about sewing )

onlyroz

I have nothing to hide, and my husband knows all my passwords etc, so he *could* read all my emails and look at my facebook account if he wanted - but I would find it *very* strange if he ever felt the need to do so. It's like reading somebody's diary - yes your partner might know which drawer you keep it in, but it's still out of order to snoop.

no-oneknowsme

relic wrote: »

I wasn't refering to you, and I pointed that out in my second post.

Obviously you don't have any trust issues, as you have pointed out twice, yes, twice. You sound like you are trying to convince yourself!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: let me tell you this.....I couldnt trust my Husband any more if I tried which is why your comment [STRIKE]is more ridiculous than you could ever imagine[/STRIKE] made me laugh.

Let me explain ..... I am 36 , I have been with my Husband since I was 13 years old . We have 3 kiddies together , my Husband is a hard working man who NEVER goes out boozing with friends . He is there unconditionally for myself and our children and never once in the 23 years we have been together has he given me any reason to mistrust him.

Infact I trust this man with my life.

So please , before you make your catty (attempt at being cocky) remarks please try not to tar everyone with the same brush as yourself!