OS contraception

pigpen

Alikay wrote: »

Well I was actually meaning the times you go into hospital to have another child, are ill, have a hospital appointment, smear test etc - you are very lucky if you never encounter a situation where someone needs to mind your children for an hour or so.

Anyway, this isn't personal, pigpen....you're clearly in the category of families who cope brilliantly with a houseful. Sadly a lot of couples don't. Fact.

If I am ill.. I carry on to the best of my ability, hospital appointments and doctors etc I do in school hours when in hospital I leave the children with their dad and take my mother (she was at all the births apart from 5 and 9).. Childrens hospital appointments are usually in school time too.. if not their dad picks them up or I change the appointment to a time I can manage easily. I am usually given the first appointments after lunch for the children or about 10am if possible as I can get to those easily.

More couples cope than don't.. TBH I've come across more people who 'cannot cope' with just a small family than who struggle with larger numbers.

I don't have anyone who would look after the children for an hour so I have no choice.. I make these things fit in same as I did when I had fewer children and the same as everyone else.

I know lots of families with more than 6, up to 12 children and I can only think of 1 where for the children it was a big mistake.. their house is squalid, the children are dirty.. but so are the parents, they are lovely children on the whole.. not allowed to roam the streets, not in trouble with the police etc but they have been very very disadvantaged as children growing up. crappy food, no spare clothes (wore school clothes on a w/e for example) and their parents squeeze every penny they can from the state and have done since day 1.

fudgecat

OK, here goes, and I wait for the oprobrium to fall around my ears...
large families create a large carbon footprint and deplete the planet for the rest of the creatures we share the world with. Even if you pay your own way and do not take more than your fair share of benefits, your are overpolluting and overpopulating.
Unless you hold a fundamentalist belief that women were born to care and procreate exclusively, you should not feel the empty nest for long, but begin to move on the the new phase (its called having a life again).
And yes, I cried buckets when mine left home - then they blooming well kept coming back in relays (failed relationships, between houses, etc). And just when you think it is safe to celebrate your infertility and the sophistication of a child free life, along comes a grandsprog!
Seriously, if you are considering an emergency empty nest baby, have a long hard think about your motives.:D

princesstippytoes

pigpen wrote: »

My children are exactly that.. MINE.. I look after them,!

Yet I remember seeing on your thread on the debt free board you say that you get £3500 approx in benefits each month plus free school lunches and council tax benefit etc. It will be more when your number 10 is born. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're a great mummy but you can only afford the big family you have because you rely on the state.

pigpen

princesstippytoes wrote: »

Yet I remember seeing on your thread on the debt free board you say that you get £3500 approx in benefits each month plus free school lunches and council tax benefit etc. It will be more when your number 10 is born. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're a great mummy but you can only afford the big family you have because you rely on the state.

Not entirely true.. we were fine until KH walked out on us 2 years ago for some slapper.. he worked from leaving school and we actually got back less in benefits than was paid in tax.. He is now not paying a bean towards to children so the tax he is paying will about be the same as we received then so consider his tax is taken by the government and given to raising the children he won't pay for.

We also get DLA or 2 of the children which anyone else who had the same 2 children would be eligible for.. I'd much prefer we weren't eligible too, and my girls could run and jump and play like the other children..

housing benefit is actually taken off the money you are 'allowed' so it would make no difference to us if they didn't pay that.. they would give me the extra few peanuts a week and I'd pay it myself.. (£19.88 a week to be exact.. which is not affected by the number of people so the baby won't make any difference)

So you are in fact incorrect on many counts, including the current amount, and putting your own perverted twist on my income without knowing the full accurate details.. which I am not prepared to discuss further unless you give me a full financial breakdown of your own income and expenditure too

princesstippytoes

pigpen wrote: »

putting your own perverted twist on my income without knowing the full accurate details.. which I am not prepared to discuss further unless you give me a full financial breakdown of your own income and expenditure too

I don't think I'm being perverted OR twisted, just joining in the debate. And I won't be posting an SOA for you. Yours is on this forum for everyone to read but I'm sorry you are cross that I posted about it.

ps won't your child benefit and tax credits increase with baby number 10?

pigpen

Im not cross in the least.. I just pointed out your sums are quite wrong and the inaccuracies..

Believe me.. if I could find a job for OH, even if it was busking (his singing is dreadful ) I'd have him out the house and out of my hair ASAP... I think it does men no good sitting at home day after day they need to be occupied, as do many many women.. and it certainly doesn't give the right ideals to the children.

DD1 is struggling to find a summer job.. she is a July birthday so 'too young' for most places.. even in this area which is highly populated with students who leave for the summer noone will give her a chance.

Don't ever let your children study computer engineering at uni it is a total waste of time.. then because you have 'a degree' none of the less well paid jobs will look at you twice It is a massive disadvantage!

And the CB will increase but the tax credits won't..

Izzy.

pigpen wrote: »

Im not cross in the least.. I just pointed out your sums are quite wrong and the inaccuracies..

Believe me.. if I could find a job for OH, even if it was busking (his singing is dreadful ) I'd have him out the house and out of my hair ASAP... I think it does men no good sitting at home day after day they need to be occupied, as do many many women.. and it certainly doesn't give the right ideals to the children.

DD1 is struggling to find a summer job.. she is a July birthday so 'too young' for most places.. even in this area which is highly populated with students who leave for the summer noone will give her a chance.

Don't ever let your children study computer engineering at uni it is a total waste of time.. then because you have 'a degree' none of the less well paid jobs will look at you twice It is a massive disadvantage!

And the CB will increase but the tax credits won't..

I looked at your thread on debt free https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/386420 and I'm shocked. Why cant I have the children I want, because I cant afford them because along with other taxpayers I'm supporting yours.

vroombroom

You get housing benefit when you have a mortgage? How does that work then?

I like the Duggars and I love watching their programme, although the religious stuff puts me off a bit.

I think we'll stick with one kid until we are financially ready to have another. We're not rich by any means, we do struggle, but our son will always have new clothes, a nice holiday every year, etc. x

OrkneyStar

We only have one child and plan to keep it that way. DH is on a low income, I am a SAHM (DS is 3), but thankfully we have some savings from when we both worked full time (I earned an ok-ish wage). We live on a budget, but we eat well enough, have a break away in the summer (normally to visit family but sometimes elsewhere too!), we drive a decent enough diesel car (few yrs old but still fine!). My only negative is that DS might miss having a sibling when he is older, but then he can make friends, and family don't always get on anyway!
While I admire parents with larger families, I do also feel slightly annoyed at them, especially when I see how much some are paid in benefits :eek::eek:. As for the Duggar family, they seem a little bit mis-guided in some ways! For us one is enough, and I would say that 3 (perhaps 4) is a sensible amount to stop at, but this is my opinion!!!

princesstippytoes

pigpen wrote: »

Not entirely true.. we were fine until KH walked out on us 2 years ago for some slapper.. he worked from leaving school and we actually got back less in benefits than was paid in tax.. He is now not paying a bean towards to children so the tax he is paying will about be the same as we received then so consider his tax is taken by the government and given to raising the children he won't pay for.

It actually looks like you are financially better off on benefits than you were when your ex husband was working and living with you. That's not your fault but it's a shocking indictment of the system. I'm not sure how he paid more in tax than you received in benefits though.

I believe in personal responsibility in the case of more children. I have 2 and feel that to have had more would have compromised our lifestyle as a family. I couldn't even consider having more if I was entirely reliant on benfits. If neither of us worked I would be as sure as I could be not to get pregnant again.:)

Don't have regrets OP. Everyone gets broody sometimes but as someone else said, the joy of grandchildren is something to look forward to if you are blessed with them.