OS contraception

delain

pigpen wrote: »

You could adopt me and be an honourary grandparent .. The ones we have are a bit naff.

We have a local bus driver as an honorary uncle for some reason the twins just love him to death, he hasn't got children of his own and says they cheer him up on bad days :rotfl::rotfl:

They only see him when he's working but they still keep inviting him to our house. lol.

We are having number 5 and no we aren't rich, not by any means but the children have evrything they need and my extended family help out with some of the expensive things like shoes.

OP, yes large families have their good points but like PP says you have bad days too where they have been whiny and you feel ill and just want to crawl back to bed but there are noses to be wiped and school runs to do:rotfl:

delain

Spendless wrote: »

I'm a long time lurker on the Duggars forum. Years ago the forum was on the family website, instead of where it now is. There was a thread once that 'predicted' that Michelle would eventually have a child with special needs and then all of a sudden she wouldn't be able to dump the next baby on the next eldest sibling down who didn't already have a 'buddy'. Sure enough this is pretty much what has happened with their youngest child who was born prematurely.

As for their views on not using contraception cos they believe it caused a miscarriage - b*******! Condoms don't cause them!!

As another poster on there said about them. I'd like to read the book of the 1st girl to escape.

Isn't she getting married to another weirdo with the same ideas? I seem to recall reading about it.

Spendless

delain wrote: »

Isn't she getting married to another weirdo with the same ideas? I seem to recall reading about it.

Which girl? I meant 'escape' is in the first girl to not conform to the way in which they've been brought up in ie go and live an independant life, get a job, go to college that sort of thing. The eldest child (a boy) married young, but to someone with same/,similar ideas.

delain

Spendless wrote: »

Which girl? I meant 'escape' is in the first girl to not conform to the way in which they've been brought up in ie go and live an independant life, get a job, go to college that sort of thing. The eldest child (a boy) married young, but to someone with same/,similar ideas.

I'm sure I read it was a girl but then I might have forgotten it and got confused. I think they're probably all a bit brainwashed sadly but hopefully they won't dump their babies on their older children having been on the receiving end of it

Counting_Pennies_2

I think some of the latest posters are getting confused with the other large American tv family. That is where the older children have rebelled, the family as a whole were rather disfunctional.

I have to say I am not against the Dugger way of life. I certainly would not choose their amount of children, however, it seems to suit them. They have schooled their children to be incredibly well educated. I would love to be able to play just one of the musical instruments they achieve. They children are incredibly well behaved, much as the older girls do look after the children, it does not appear to be against their wishes. I have been watching the 19 kids and counting series that is running at the moment on UK tv and one of the older girls said that she isn't really into looking after the younger children, so she prefers to help with the cooking and laundry. At that age I would expect a teenager to be helping with such tasks anyway.

They run their own successful businesses, the oldest child has moved out got married and started their own family. The teenage twins are travelling around Asia, they aren't chained to the house.

They never shout at their children, always have a loving caring way with the children, don't live off the state for handouts.

It is sad about the latest baby being born premature, it was from what I can tell in the flashbacks the tv programme give, due to a condition unrelated to having lots of babies. What is a shame is the mum is now away from the rest of the family while Josie is being cared for, I think the children might come to resent Josie, as she is the main topic of conversation for everyone.

I have a huge amount of respect for their calm caring nature, and wish them the very best.

For me however, 2 is just perfect. There are enough of us to go around.

To the OP, I would say don't live in regret, be happy with your memories and think about the fun you will have with grandchildren that might come along in the future. All those lovely cuddles and ability to help your children with physical and emotional help when they need it.

Alikay

Large families, if you don't have sufficient money and a good network of supportive friends and family aren't idyllic at all - certainly not for the children growing up in them whose needs are not always fully met. We have 3 and for us, with our circumstances that was enough. Now ours are grown up I'm a foster carer and the children I look after are almost without exception from families where they breed young and frequently. Obviously there are other factors involved, but I often think that many of the families would just about cope with a small well spaced family, rather than lots of kids they just can't manage.

OP, you made your decision on the size of your family based on your personal situation at the time, and 2 children was the norm for ordinary working couples when I was growing up in the 60's and 70's. Well done for being responsible.

Before I get flamed, I know that there are some big families with committed and energetic parents who do a fantastic job!

jetta_wales

I have two daughters from my ex there's Atwood year gap between them and they do everything together. I can't speak for the future but they're 5 and nearly 7 now and I have no desire to have any more. My partner was brooch for a while when we first got together but then we got a puppy and now have two kids and two tiny dogs who he dotes over just as much as he does the girls. At present he's completely changed his mind see's no apeal in having a baby at all lol and just can't wait for the girls to be old enough to enjoy more mutual hobbies with. All of his paternal needing to have something tiny to care for feelings are darted with the dogs who are the babies of the house.

You need a puppy :-) I would recomend a Papillon, mine sleeps on my pillow right next to me lol.

pigpen

Alikay wrote: »

Large families, if you don't have sufficient money and a good network of supportive friends and family aren't idyllic at all - certainly not for the children growing up in them whose needs are not always fully met. .....

Before I get flamed, I know that there are some big families with committed and energetic parents who do a fantastic job!

If you need other people to help look after your children you shouldn't have had them in the first place... other than the 2 parents and childminders for example... that goes for whether you have 1 or 21!!! I NEVER have anyone look after mine.. I am a bit insulted if anyone offers.. I do occasionally leave them with my oldest 1 or 2 while I dash to shop.. or pick up a parcel like I did earlier.

I think the only thing mine ever lacked was personal space which buying a new house sorted.

DD1 sitting next to me said she likes it and hasn't missed out on anything apart from 'stupid holidays abroad'.. which I wouldn't take them on anyway because I don't want to go.. it is too hot and I am happy with the east coast, doughnuts and ice creams! A beach is a beach to a child... they don't care where it is!

A large family is just the same as a small one.. with more people! which means more washing, more food and more of everything!

Alikay

pigpen wrote: »

If you need other people to help look after your children you shouldn't have had them in the first place... other than the 2 parents and childminders for example... that goes for whether you have 1 or 21!!!

Well I was actually meaning the times you go into hospital to have another child, are ill, have a hospital appointment, smear test etc - you are very lucky if you never encounter a situation where someone needs to mind your children for an hour or so.

Anyway, this isn't personal, pigpen....you're clearly in the category of families who cope brilliantly with a houseful. Sadly a lot of couples don't. Fact.

Hermia

Person_one wrote: »

Don't admire the Duggars too much, their attitudes about women are appalling and they happily admit that the older girls do most of the caring for the little ones.

That happened to my mum who is the oldest daughter in her family. She had to look after the older kids because her mum was looking after 3 little ones. She really missed out. She didn't have the social life her youngest sisters has and she really missed out at school. She never had time to do any homework and occasionally missed school if her mum or younger siblings were ill. The saddest thing is that she is naturally the most academic/intelligent in her family, but had the least opportunity to get a decent education. A lot of those BIG American families are Christians who thinks girls should marry early and have lots of kids so they probably don't mind that their daughters miss out.

Having a large family with no money is not to be encouraged in my opinion. I don't think we should have too rose-tinted a view of life with no money. You do miss out when you have no money.