OS contraception

oldtractor

I have 2 children,now grown up. I was brought up to think that large families were somehow "wrong" . Always poor,parents not able to give them holidays and nice clothes. But, now ,we are low waged anyway,dont have nice clothes and holidays,in other words my parents rose to become middle class,me and my DH are most definately not. I wish I'd chucked the modern contraception and just had a large family without worrying about all i worried about not being able to provide. I'm too old now. I am in awe of the Duggars, who just facinate me.

McKneff

Just how old are you, friend of mine at work had a son who was 21 when she had a little girl, she was 43 and she is happy as the proverbial, Catherine is now 3 and mum is 46, so maybe not too late for you. eh

saveabobortwo

ie not to bring no trouble home ie get pregnant. sort of frightened you that it would ruin your life but now i wish i had had children younger and had more than 1. some things money cant buy

Pink.

Hi oldtractor,

I'm sorry that you have regrets. As others have said, perhaps it isn't too late for you.

As your thread is more relative to the families board than Old Style I'll move your thread over there.

Pink

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com"]forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

ceridwen

Thanks Pink-winged

This is a thread that is too controversial for the Old Style Board.

So - thank you for moving it.

<walks off muttering "PERSONAL responsibility...PERSONAL (NOT societal....!!!) responsibility....>

One can still be "middle class" - even if as poor as the proverbial church mouse....ie in the main its the ideas/standards/etc one has - including PERSONAL responsibility.

Person_one

Don't admire the Duggars too much, their attitudes about women are appalling and they happily admit that the older girls do most of the caring for the little ones.

I bet your 2 children are much happier than they would have been if their parent's attention had been divided 17 ways!

pigpen

Person_one wrote: »

Don't admire the Duggars too much, their attitudes about women are appalling and they happily admit that the older girls do most of the caring for the little ones.

I bet your 2 children are much happier than they would have been if their parent's attention had been divided 17 ways!

Absolutely!!

As a mum with an above average size family the Duggars absolutely disgust me.. churn out a baby only to dump the next youngest onto the poor long suffering older children.. if they looked after them themselves, fine.. but to destroy their other childrens childhoods by lumbering them with children they did not have and probably did not want, is abhorrant!!! they bring shame to themselves and everyone then thinks all large families are as awful as they are when in actual fact most of us allow our children to be children!

My children are exactly that.. MINE.. I look after them, I get them to school and dressed and fed and washed. I am there when they are ill (which isn't often as we banned germs!) I do reading books and nit combing en masse and everything else that goes with being a mum.

They make me incredibly angry.. if most parents neglected their children and used them as slaves the way they do there would be massive outcrying about how hard done by they were.. bit of money buys a lot! Shame it cannot buy a childhood back.

I love having my brood most of the time.. they have been horrors the last few days and the baby is teething so I am exhausted and coming down with a cold or something so not at my best either.. but that is the way of things.. I still fed everyone and got them to bed, washed their clothes and bossed them to tidy their mess, vacuumed and wiped.

Oh, and yes we are poor as church mice... but we have nice clothes, good homecooked food in our tummies and a roof over our head.. and lots of love going around.. nothing else is needed!

Mankysteve

Imagine how little cash you would have if you had more kids. Who would end up picking up the tab for what you can't afford?

shy-but-need-help

Duggars do make me raise an eyebrow at times, not the best example of large families IMO - I know families with 10+ who have great kids and didn't have to resort to whacking the floor loudly if baby crawled off it's blanket! (friend bought me Duggars "20 and counting" as a joke new baby present when pg with #5 and I read it with an odd sense of fascination)

I can see advantages of both, we have five and I adore seeing them grow together and have the relationship they do but I can also see we'd travel more and "juggle" less if we'd have stopped at one or two (I'd certainly not be wearing oldest daughters cast off trainers that's for sure LOL ) They all have what they need rather than what they might want, they attend the cheaper drama and dance classes rather than the super-shiny-national franchise type ones... all bits that might have been different with less.

oldtractor

thanks for all your replies. Theres a lot here I hadnt thought about. Guess rose-tinted glasses kick in when one has passed the menopause. I sit here each evening alone. I just get lonely. Nothing to complain at really. Still I sometimes wish I'd had a large family,thats all.

pigpen

oldtractor wrote: »

thanks for all your replies. Theres a lot here I hadnt thought about. Guess rose-tinted glasses kick in when one has passed the menopause. I sit here each evening alone. I just get lonely. Nothing to complain at really. Still I sometimes wish I'd had a large family,thats all.

You could adopt me and be an honourary grandparent .. The ones we have are a bit naff.