Help! Need to talk to OH.

globetraveller

long, long hours at work? Are you sure he is actually working?
If you are short of money and he is swanning off and spending it then its not on really is it? Is there any family you could say you were visiting? Therefore giving him his space at home? Money saved. See what he says to that. Of course if it were me I would not spend all my time with the family, I would be doing a bit of finding out.
Also, if he goes to his retreat straight from work I would be nearby to see if he leaves on his own. This is obviously sneaky, but its only what he is being.
edit to add
the note he left - We'll. On reflection he is either not that good at cheating or he made a genuine mistake. Most cheating spouses get very good at covering things up and would not make that mistake.

ostrichnomore_2

no, he really does work long hours and I do know this is genuine, 100% no doubt without wanting to go into details of how I know, but I do.

Februarycat

I would just keep a careful watch on him, not saying anything is going on but my ex husband was doing something very similar to yours, a night away as he needed space, working long hours, petrol receipts for places out of town etc.
I do hope you can have a good talk with each other and find out what is going on and sort things out. Good luck it's a horrible situation to be in and I know how you must be feeling.

make_me_wise

I really feel for you OP. It's not as if you have ever tried to block him from having this 'time' to himself. I dont see the need for all this secrecy and awkwardness on his behalf. Its a rather childish way for him to carry on.

To be honest if my husband treated me like that I wouldn't waste time checking up on him or trying to puzzle it out. I'd talk to him about it and clear the air. If he threw a strop and started shouting the odds at me for just wanting some openness and honesty, he wouldn't know what had hit him.

Its selfish to treat someone the way you are being treated.

Incyder

ok so whats the update, 2pm has long gone, what did he say ?

*Louise*

If my husband started being all secretive like that, you're damn right I would be investigating!

There is absolutely no harm in you knowing where he will be, it's just common courtesy for him to let you know - what if there was an emergency or something?


It's much easier to trust someone if they are open and honest with you in the first place. As soon as someone clams up or starts getting angry my alarm bells start ringing.

Hope you have had the chat.

CH27

Good luck OP

NickyBat

Hope it went ok

Errata

Bluntly - you need to tell him you need to know where he is in case he has to be contacted in emergency. Mobile phones - if he has one - aren't necessarily as reliable as hotel landlines.
If he won't tell you, he's either being stupid, playing at silly buqqers, or playing away. Tell him that and ask which it is.

flutterby_lil

Thinking of you, how did it go?