Help! Need to talk to OH.

Lara44

Ostrichnomore, do you think you could get him to go to relationship counselling? That might facilitate a greater degree of communication between the two of you. Even if he's not doing something untoward he is being extremely selfish. There are obviously greater problems here and I think you may need specialist help to deal with them, given his problems with communicating on an emotional level.

nzmegs

Your other option is to use the weekend at home alone to pack your bags and move out (or better still, pack his!). If he loves hotels so much you could suggest he lives in one full time...

Raksha

Has anyone suggested that OH may be a crossdresser? This does sound like typical behaviour of the closet cross dresser.......

Sambucus_Nigra

Cross dressing at Star Wars?

Miss_Scrooge_2

Sounds odd that 2 straight adult male friends are going to the cinema. Both tickets being paid for by your husband.

There are just so many things wrong with this relationship, but his going out with this mystery person needs to be resolved first.

Catti

There are so many people reading this thread and taking an interest, surely someone must live close enough to the cinema to help out!!!!

anguk

Catti wrote: »

There are so many people reading this thread and taking an interest, surely someone must live close enough to the cinema to help out!!!!

The MSE Detective Agency.

OP there just seems to be so much wrong with all of this, the secrecy is the biggest thing and the fact that he gets so defensive when you ask about it.

I just can't think of an innocent reason why a married man goes away for a weekend every month without his wife. And is so secret about it.

Even if it is completely innocent and there's nothing going on it's still wrong that he doesn't talk to you about it, gets angry if you mention it, spends money you can't afford etc.

He's either being selfish and controlling or he's hiding something from you, neither option is very good for an equal, happy marriage.

I asked my husband for his opinion and he thinks the guy is either having an affair with another woman, is a closet Gay, he's a cross-dresser who gets to be his other self for the weekend, a gambler or he has a child. Whatever it is he's hiding something.

Caroline_a

I think the OP's OH might get a bit suspicious if hundreds of people turned up wearing macs with the collars turned up, haggling with the price of the ticket and peering at all the other men in the cinema...:rotfl:

bylromarha

OP HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Can you do it tonight? It may spoil the meal but think you really have to ask and be clear how his actions are making you feel. Worth syking yourself up with a birthday glass of vino?

Be clear. Be firm. Try to not be emotional. It has been going on too long now chickie...you do have a right to answers. You need to make him see that.

And if you don't get them tonight, I'd be telling him to not return from his weekend until he is ready to give you answers.

He needs to look outside himself and see how this is cutting you up and how much damage his personal wants are getting in the way of your relationship.

Please keep us updated about this evening and hope things get resolved quickly.

Errata

anguk wrote: »

The MSE Detective Agency.

OP there just seems to be so much wrong with all of this, the secrecy is the biggest thing and the fact that he gets so defensive when you ask about it.

I just can't think of an innocent reason why a married man goes away for a weekend every month without his wife. And is so secret about it.
I can :eek:
Even if it is completely innocent and there's nothing going on it's still wrong that he doesn't talk to you about it, gets angry if you mention it, spends money you can't afford etc.

He's either being selfish and controlling or he's hiding something from you, Or he's a weirdo neither option is very good for an equal, happy marriage.

I can't think of one single reason why a wife would put up with this sort of nonsense her OH indulges himself in.
Personally, I'd be making myself an urgent appointment at the STI clinic.