Single mum, want to move 300 miles away..

diable

Speak to you HA and she if they have any properties in the area you want to move to and see what advice help they can give you.

KatieVA

I'm absolutely astounded by some of the people on here, so quick to judge and jump on people. I certainly won't be coming back to this site.

Anyway, to clear a few things up:

He isn't a random guy, we've been together nearly a year.

When I say I have nothing to stick around here for, I really do mean that. I have no family here and no friends - friends all went their seperate ways when I had my son, which is fair enough, it's part of growing up and life.

I am very close with OH's family, both my son and I, and they treat us like we're part of their family. OH's mum is the closest thing to a grandmother my son has. They are the nicest people I've ever met and I love them all to the end of the earth. We often go up to stay with them, we know the area very well and have made friends up here too.

This isn't something I would do on a whim - this would take at least a year or 2 to plan before I actually do move. It's not something I'm taking lightly, it's a HUGE life changing decision.

For those who have very rudely questioned my parenting skills and priorities - yes, this would be the best thing for my son - to move to a beautiful place where he has family (well, the closest thing to a family) and friends around him who love and care about him - rather than the 2 of us rotting away in that flat in my hometown, where we barely ever see or speak to anyone. Up here in Merseyside, it feels like our home. Down there, there's nothing for us except misery.

As I said, there are 2 universities nearby up in Merseyside that do the course I'm wanting to take at some point. So if I decide to do it, the option is there too.

I am a very independant person and I don't rely on anyone, both physically and emotionally. I have gone it alone with my son for almost 2 years and I've never had any help from anyone - not even when he was a newborn. It's just the 2 of us, alone. His father has never played any part in his life, he met him once when he was born and said he never wanted anything to do with him and we've never seen or spoken to each other since.

So to summerise, my son and I have an opportunity here to be happy and I want to take it. I know 1000% that it's the right thing to do. It's just a case of saving up and getting everything in order. It will take a long time but it's worth the wait. Yes, I have thought about what might happen if it all goes wrong, and it would make no difference to either of us if it did - we'd just be in the same situation but in a prettier part of the country!

Anyway, I'm leaving this thread/website alone now, but I just wanted to clear that up. Thank you for the helpful replies!

KatieVA

diable wrote: »

Speak to you HA and she if they have any properties in the area you want to move to and see what advice help they can give you.

Also, I have been to a one stop shop in Wirral, where they put me on the Wirral Homes database. The wait is 6-12 years, but obviously it's worth being on the list. They've advised me that now it's just a case of saving up a deposit and privately renting somewhere. They've given me a list of acredited landlords that accept housing benefit.

shellsuit

KatieVA wrote: »

Also, I have been to a one stop shop in Wirral, where they put me on the Wirral Homes database. The wait is 6-12 years, but obviously it's worth being on the list. They've advised me that now it's just a case of saving up a deposit and privately renting somewhere. They've given me a list of acredited landlords that accept housing benefit.

Yep, I waited 12 years and I live on the Wirral.

Is it the Wirral you're looking to move to or the other side of the water?

KatieVA

shellsuit wrote: »

Yep, I waited 12 years and I live on the Wirral.

Is it the Wirral you're looking to move to or the other side of the water?

Tis the Wirral, around the Bromborough/Bebington/Port Sunlight areas.

Doozergirl

I think you're being a bit over sensitive Katie. When you read and contribute to a forum, you have to understand that people will call it as they see it based on the information they have. I know those posters pretty well and they aren't nasty, judgemental people at all, so perhaps even you can be guilty of making an incorrect judgement on a first post? It can go both ways.

You have to remember to read each post as if it we were written in a concerned way, not that people are judging you as a person. When such a big part of communication is body language and tone, a lot of what is intended goes missing with the written word. If you think it's nasty, read it again, try to see what they saw and try to re-read. And remember it was one post that they had to respond to, not the girl behind the computer.

A lot of people wrote in response to what you said - it contained no information about your loving relationship, the beautiful area, the fact that it wouldn't be immediate etc it simply told us you wanted to move 300 miles to an area which does have a bit of reputation, near to a new boyfriend with not a penny in the bank. My response would have been pretty similar to a lot of the posts made in reply. They weren't judging you, they were responding to a post which sounded a bit frightening.

I think you need to get yourself registered with more homeswap sites. My aunt did it and found someone wanting to swap from the very north of Scotland to London - there will be people out there who want to move. Even if the house you swap to isn't in exactly the same area as your bf, you will have your base much nearer than 300 miles. Maybe you could swap again more locally once you're up there. It might take two moves to get to where you want to be. And start saving!

What does he do? Where does he live? I'm thinking that if this relationship is going places then you'd be wanting to move in together, in which case it's a problem shared, not just you going it alone.

Oliver14

So let me get this straight you have a secure HA tenancy that you can have for life if you want. You have a 19 month old son and you want to move 300 miles away to an insecure tenancy and knowing that the chances of you getting a Council/HA house again are near enough zero. Your happy to give up a secure home for your child, because you say you don't care as long as your happy.

If the guy you have met really is serious about you he should understand why you would not be willing to lose your tenancy and be willing to move nearer you as he has less responsibilities. If he's not willing to do this he's not really serious and not worth the effort.

You would be stupid to give up such a secure tenancy. As others have said Council swap would be your best move though it's not easy and can take a long while

http://www.homeswapper.co.uk/

If your HA is a member it will be free to join.

shellsuit

KatieVA wrote: »

Tis the Wirral, around the Bromborough/Bebington/Port Sunlight areas.

Right on my doorstep then

Is moving in with your OH not an option, or private renting with him?

Doozergirl

Oliver14 wrote: »

So let me get this straight

Brilliant. There's nothing like reading just the first post and replying when the conversation has moved on somewhat :wall:
At least you offered some advice at the end!

shellsuit

Oliver, the homeswapper site has already been mentioned a couple of times on the thread.