Single mum, want to move 300 miles away..

KatieVA

Evening all, hoping someone can give me a bit of help and guidance!

The story is, I'm a single mum to my little 19 month old boy and we live alone in a 2 bedroom flat (housing association). Last year, I met a lovely young man who lives 300 miles away, in Merseyside. We spoke about me moving up there permanently, as I have absolutely nothing to stick around for in my hometown and have wanted to move somewhere new for a while.

I've decided it's something I definitely want to do now, but I have absolutely no idea how to go about things. Baring in mind I'm a single mother on benefits, (how dignified...) and I live hand to mouth and find it very hard to save more than £10 a week!

I've looked into every avenue and my only option is to privately rent, so I'll be giving up my housing association property. I'll need to save up for a deposit. They do offer a rent deposit guarentee scheme up there, but it's only for people who are homeless/in emergency situations or have lived in the area for more than a certain amount of time. The amount of housing benefit I can get is a maximum of £450 per month which is fine, I can rent somewhere for that.

Then there's the problem of getting all our stuff up there. For a removal van I'm looking at over £500! I'm wondering if it's just worth selling most of my belongings and keeping the bare essentials...and then using the money I make to send everything up in boxes via courier?

Basically, if anyone has moved halfway across the country, any hints tips and advice would be brilliant! Thanks very much

PasturesNew

I'd keep the house rather than move so far, to Merseyside of all places, for a random bloke.
To be honest.

Save your £10/week for 2 years .... if he's still on the scene you'll have a few bob behind you.

VfM4meplse

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd keep the house rather than move so far, to Merseyside of all places, for a random bloke.

I agree. Building your life around someone else is only ever going to lead to disappointment, in this case it sounds like you will be financially dependent too. Besides which, your first priority should be your child, you can't gamble his future on the whim of some guy that seems lovely at the moment.

KatieVA

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd keep the house rather than move so far, to Merseyside of all places, for a random bloke.
To be honest.

Save your £10/week for 2 years .... if he's still on the scene you'll have a few bob behind you.

Not sure where you got "random bloke" from, I've been with him since last year! It's a decision I've thought long and hard about and it's something I've taken very seriously. "Random" certainly doesn't come into it.

Also, it's a flat not a house. And happiness is much more important to me than keeping a sodding council flat. I've never been a materialistic person. I'd rather live in a tent if it meant I was happy.

"Merseyside of all places"? Yes, it's a beautiful place.

If you have nothing helpful to say, not sure why you're wasting your sunday evening on my thread, posting useless comments. But thanks for your time all the same.

Gigglepig

Given that you have a small child I would not give up on the 2-bed you have. Rather than risk it, I'd save, get a job and put money away until you have deposit money, money for the move, and a decent buffer.

KatieVA

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I agree. Building your life around someone else is only ever going to lead to disappointment, in this case it sounds like you will be financially dependent too. Besides which, your first priority should be your child, you can't gamble his future on the whim of some guy that seems lovely at the moment.

I wouldn't be building my life around him. I won't be financially dependant, I'd be in exactly the same financial situation as I am now except I'd be living in a different part of the country. We're not moving in together, so I don't need to depend on him.

Sigh, I really wanted advice about moving, not relationship advice. I'm not an idiot and this isn't something I'm doing "on a whim". It's something I've thought long and hard about for a very long time.

And my first priority is ALWAYS my child, thanks very much. How very insulting.

Anyway nevermind guys, thanks for the advice anyway.

KatieVA

Gigglepig wrote: »

Given that you have a small child I would not give up on the 2-bed you have. Rather than risk it, I'd save, get a job and put money away until you have deposit money, money for the move, and a decent buffer.

Sadly, after a work focused interview at the Job Centre, I was told it's not worth me going back to work as I'll be worse off than I am now. It's absolutely unbelievable.

I'm hoping to go to uni next year to start a nursing course to get me into midwifery, at least there's something to look forward to.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

if the reason for moving is to be closer to lovely young man, then why don't you move in together?

KatieVA

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,

if the reason for moving is to be closer to lovely young man, then why don't you move in together?

I've thought about it, but from past experience I wouldn't move in with a partner again unless I've been with them for a few years!

Gigglepig

KatieVA wrote: »

And happiness is much more important to me than keeping a sodding council flat. I've never been a materialistic person. I'd rather live in a tent if it meant I was happy.
...

If you have nothing helpful to say, not sure why you're wasting your sunday evening on my thread, posting useless comments. But thanks for your time all the same.

If you're posting on a forum you'll get some opinions you don't want to hear.

Surely, this isn't just about you being happy. As a parent hopefully it is more important to you to keep a roof over the head of your boy?

KatieVA

Gigglepig wrote: »

If you're posting on a forum you'll get some opinions you don't want to hear.

Surely, this isn't just about you being happy. As a parent hopefully it is more important to you to keep a roof over the head of your boy?

Sadly yes, I did expect a few ignorant, judgemental replies!

Of course it's important to me, it would be slightly worrying if it wasn't!

And...did I say anything about making myself and my child homeless? No, I'm enquiring about us moving to a different area! Why have my parenting decisions and priorities been brought into this? Very strange indeed.