Defiant child and pansy teacher.

lauren_1

Sorry no offence to teachers but I have a real problem with one of my daughters teachers.

Im not sure if some of you may remember but a while ago I had a SS visit after I was seen dragging my daughter to school, she's utterly defiant about doing anything and quite violent at times. It was the school receptionist that called the SS

Any how FF past the visit and nothing much has changed apart from DD's teacher called the SS as DD was visibly upset one morning and didn't want to talk about it....and a annonymous tip of that I smacked DD...and another one where I cut her lip...a few more where DD appears to have bruising on her legs insinuating that i have been kicking her....you get the picture.

DD and DS have been interviewed together, seperatly and for at least 4 times each and nothing has come to light, the one where I allegedly cut her lip both of my children were kept from me for a day whilst they investigated, again nothing was found however it was ds that had a sore on his lip via sucking the top lip (this was winter)

Anyway, yesterday I got basically publically rollocked in front of other mums by this teacher about DD's homework and late-ness record, she wont do it, not for me, not for her gran, not for anyone. Which is like most things she is asked to do.

As soon as I said 'you know I cant get her to do anything, the last time I tried you called SS on me' Cue immense blushing and stuttering by this teacher. dd has the mental age of a 5/6 year old.

Can I complain to the school about this teacher? I am getting sick of this now as my youngest son is under fortnightly checks by the HV over some paranoid idiot of a teacher

pigpen

You can complain to the school the governors and the LEA about the teacher.. the chances of anything being done are practicaly zero TBH without other complaints.

I would have added that she is quite welcome to have DD stay in at break times to complete homework if it is that important to her.. but you are not going to force her to do it at home... she either like it or lump it.. that is one thing you can get away with at primary school

What would they do if you refused to see the HV fortnightly? Does the HV think it necessary?

If DD as learning difficulties.. you say her mental age is 5-6 but not her actual age.. is this school the right environment for her? might she do better at a special school or with a statement so she gets extra support.. she might not want to go because she finds it so hard and stressful.

puddy

what strategies are you using to try and control your daughter? they dont seem to be working at the moment, she cant continue like that. it may be that your attempts to parent are sometimes out of frustration, so there needs to be a different way.

is there anything wrong with your daughter?

lauren_1

puddy wrote: »

what strategies are you using to try and control your daughter? they dont seem to be working at the moment, she cant continue like that. it may be that your attempts to parent are sometimes out of frustration, so there needs to be a different way.

is there anything wrong with your daughter?

She hates this teacher, getting her to school is nigh on impossible. Give her a sub teacher then she's like a angel (almost)

DD is borderline aspie with developmental delay, have had several diagnose's varying from aspie, mild autism, adhd and ODD.

She is not medicated as I reckon half of it is an act and the other half played on as as soon as she gets what she want's she's nice as pie.

ladymarmalade1970

I think you need to get your health visitor or someone at the school onside because from what you have posted here it would appear that they are trying to prove you are a bad mum and you are trying to prove you aren't. No one can move forward in this scenario least of all your daughter.
Can you speak with the head or another teacher maybe??
Also, you SHOULD be able to make your daughter do her homework and it is a reflection on you if you can't. If you can't control her at this age how are you going to cope when she is a teenager?
If you can't cope have you tried reaching out to SS yourself and asking for advice? My youngest was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 2 (just after he was excluded from playgroup and then a creche). My health visitor was a rock and i couldn't have coped without her.
Also, when my eldest was about 9 he had problems with a teacher at school and again, my HV was fabulous. There is help out there in many forms you just have to get the right one.
I don't mean my post to be harsh but you do have to get it sorted sooner rather than later....

relic

Seems like there is something wrong with your daughter, not the teacher.

At the end of the day, if they are not in the right environment, they're not going to be helped, it should be something an educational psychologist should look at.

Teachers have very little power these days, and the teacher has every right to call social services if there is a pattern of bruising or whatever.

Just saying "she won't do it" isn't good enough, why is she saying that, and what are you doing to help this?

lauren_1

She is such a contrast to ds, does his words and phonemes straight away, on level 4 books (he's in reception)..

with dd, if i ask her the question she will tell me the answer but refuses to write it down or look at the paper, i do her homework for her by asking her and writing it down which is not allowed and she must do it to show her working out. she has no working out, she just knows the answer.

Her writing is abysmal, spaces and fullstops are meaningless to her.

Her mental age i have been told is that of a 5/6 year old. however she is just below the norm intellegnce wise for her age group (9/10), im confused at this too.

*doodle*_2

What exactly do you want to complain about? Your child's teacher wouldn't have contacted SS - the head would have. Schools have got to contact SS when issues like this occur - they have no choice. What would you say if they didn't contact SS and a child ended up dead? I'm not referring to your child btw.

You put her on the spot on the playground and that isn't on. Granted, she should have spoken to you in private but being on the offensive isn't helping anyone.

If she isn't co-operating for you at home then chances are she is a nightmare in the classroom. Has she got an IEP? Have you been in contact with CAHMs? Ed Psych? Have you even spoken with the SENco?

Now, be prepared to fight for support. Schools budgets are dreadful at the moment and the government have reduced/removed a lot of the services needed when dealing with such pupils. Statements are nigh on impossible to get these days and you need one of these for her to have designated support in the classroom.

For everyones sakes - yours, your childs and the school - arrange a meeting with the head and discuss your concerns in an objective manner.

elvis86

ladymarmalade1970 wrote: »

Also, you SHOULD be able to make your daughter do her homework and it is a reflection on you if you can't. If you can't control her at this age how are you going to cope when she is a teenager?

Totally agree with this. The OP's attitude stinks. She's the child, you're the parent. Sort it out and stop blaming teachers/the school/Social Services for your own shortcomings.

If you want to continue to fail your child, follow the advice another poster gave, and let her get away without doing her homework. Shift responsibility from yourself to the teachers. Let her fall further behind her classmates. Let her learn that the rules applying to everyone else don't apply to her because her bad behaviour results in exceptions being made for her.:cool:

lauren_1

I want to complain about these malicious SS visits as all but one have been basically lies by this teacher, I am not the only mum to have a problem caused by her.

puddy

you mean you're not the only mum to feel that she does nothing wrong and that the teacher should butt out when they see something wrong?