How do I stop disliking this kid?

blue_monkey_2

Through my son having this condition I find there are a lot of parents who, even when challenged by the schools, will refuse to accept there is any problem and also will refuse any help.

The schools can only do so much and from you saying the little boy is better since he started school this indicats that they might have something in place.

When you said it is like having a toddler all the time, yes you are right, he is very clever but mentally he still acts like a baby and it is very draining. There is nothing wrong with using the same tactics though, it saves you raising your voice above the noise.

About the depression, I am wondering now if the mum just cannot cope so the kids run riot because she does not have it in her to keep them in line. Are you able to have them more often and then with your new rules might find it a bit more bearable. No-one will have my son to look after (the one time I did he ran away!) and I think I would cry with relief if someone in the family offered to take them for a few hours to give me a break. If the mum does not have anyone to take them and she herself cannot cope this would make things really hard.

I am wondering if you could gather some information and invite her round for a coffee - maybe Homestart who are volunteers who come and help out in the family home - and help her a little bit. Let her see that she does not have to cope with this on her own. Such a hard thing to do, some parents are really proud and do not want to see of themselves as in failing in being a parent/wife but are then too scared to reach out for the help when they really need it. I think the mum needs some help, can your husband pop round and see her once a week, I know you do not like the children but maybe you can like then a little bit more if you can help them and them look forward to seeing you.

I do understand how hard this is for you too but as you are with their grandpa I guess you are going to be around for a good while yet and so need to get involved in everything too.

For food though, just ask them what they want to eat and just give them egg and soldiers if they want it, it's only for one meal - you eat properly later.

It's all about picking your battles. Outside is for shouting and screaming, inside is for quiet voices.

mrcow

blue_monkey wrote: »

The schools can only do so much and from you saying the little boy is better since he started school this indicats that they might have something in place.

Like rules, boundaries and consequences perhaps?