Deleted

barbiedoll

Oh yes, I'm surrounded by books that I simply cannot part with. My OH bought me a Kindle with the idea that I could transfer all of my trashy paperbacks onto it. Which of course, isn't going to happen anytime soon, especially as most of them aren't available as ebooks anyway.

I'm quite good with everyone else's clutter though, as soon as their back is turned, I'm merrily chucking their stuff into the wheelie bin. And I'm quite ruthless with clothes and shoes although I do find that as soon as I throw something out, it immediately comes back in fashion! :rotfl::rotfl:

Molly41

I have a bit of a Radley bag thing going on too! I was discussing it with my fellow MSE and real life friend Mooloo and she suggested that instead of cosseting it in its Radley cloth bag I display it on my dressing table. It looks lovely and I use it for bits and bobs.

ailuro2

Aliasojo - I didn't say your debt came from handbags ( though please admit to yourself that if you hadn't bought them in the first place you WOULD have had more money available for the refurb:p)

Something NON MSE:o... why not give your books to the local library or perhaps an old folks' home rather than selling them off at a car boot sale for 20p ( don't you just KNOW that it's dealers that are buying them to sell for a profit- it made me feel awful when I had a book clear-out at a boot sale!!) That way you'll have a feelgood factor linked to the books. Once again, take a pic of the pile of books before they go, that way when you can't remember who wrote a book you've read you'll be able to look at the picture and remember.

Who we are is NOT what we have... our life is measured by those who love us, not the 'things' we love.
Your new house will have a garden, and even if you're not allowed to do a lot to it because it's rented at first, you can still do marvellous things with window boxes and planters.:D

Brighton_belle

aliasojo wrote: »

That was my intention when I first started out. I very quickly got a bit down about it all again then started with the 'might want to keep this that or the other' thoughts.

I've kinda joked my way through this thread but to be serious for a minute, I do feel like I'm giving up my life, my home, my routine, my kids' lives, my garden (which sounds really daft but it was becoming the only enjoyable hobby I've ever had for me, in many many years, and loads of other things that make me feel 'safe'.

When I get to sorting out things of mine that I love, it's hard not to feel as if there will be nothing of me left.

That's why I think you need to keep the bags (at least for now). Being ruthless takes energy and this move is hard enough for you. So get rid of the easy stuff and work upwards. It is a great chance to start over with your stuff, but you need to take it at a pace you can cope with too.
As you go through stuff, can you decide if you have used it in the last year or not, and if not it goes? Perhaps take photos of some things that you what to remmeber, to help get rid of the actual item?

Since xmas I have got rid of half of what I own and 70% of my clothes and I am loving it. My 'stuff' and indecision about it for too long had truely been weighing me down and leaving me feeling overwhelmed with too much to do and pulled in too many directions. The relief and release after some ruthlessnes and some painful and difficult decisions (at the time) have all been worth it.
I could happily move to a bedsit right now if I didn't have a lovely OH to consider,lol.

Sounds like you must prioritise the type of garden you get next: you can keep that hobby as 'you' time.
But ultimately, you are not your stuff; you are made up of your pesonality and your experiences and how you choose to live, but you are not your stuff and if you lost it all in a fire tonight, you would still bethe same you, you were yesterday.

Edited to add: you are not being silly, your feelings re really understandable: you have had a shock and your life is being radically altered in a way you would rather it wasn't at the moment. It is early days and you have already come a long way in a few days.

Rockporkchop

I love your bag!

I had three limited edition Radleys that I kept in a box in the cupboard for years, they were absolutely gorgeous. I decided to sell them on ebay in 2008 when the babies were born and got £1200 in total, which softened the blow a bit.

The problem with the limited editions is that they are such soft leather that they mark really badly the first time you use them and don't wear very well, so I could never bring myself to use them even once. I say sell the bags but buy something equally gorgeous for yourself that you can use all the time.

soupdragon10

I think it's perfectly natural to surround ourselves with things that make us feel safe - like building a nest.

If keeping the bags makes it easier to part with other things then keep them (I personally own 1 handbag and buy a new one from Oxfam when it wears out) but books are a different matter.

Is it going to pay to keep/store/transport the computer and will it sell for enough to pay for all those over the years until it is a collectors item? Have you found out it's current market value? Is it worth keeping just to play one game, and if you keep it what else has to go to make room for it?

You have had to cope with a lot of emotional turmoil recently and it's still ongoing, maybe decide which possesions you want to make your nest from.

ailuro2

That's a good point about nest-building soupdragon.

Some people say wherever they lay their hat that's their home...







while others have to take it to a whole new level before they feel it's a suitable place to bring up their kids...:)





Aliasojo - hope you've made a start with the easy stuff, try and condemn just one big and bulky thing today, then fill the space it leaves behind with stuff that really means something to you ( I know what I'd choose if it was a choice between DD's baby bootees and a posh handbag:D)

Mupette

That Amiga has no bids and 5 days left.

I'm a bit of a dab hand on the I.T. and only the truly geeks who have a 3 bed house filled with old pc's may look again at it.

It's old, over priced,it really would of been bid'd on by now.

if you chuck the any monitors away make sure they loose the static charge (unplugged for a least a month will do it)

If it has been buried unplugged under god knows what for years then it is fine, at least 30 days to not be a danger.

find local pc repair shop who can get rid properly.

screens come under the fridge freezer list of sensible remove, I.E. pay a professional with certificates.


Hold on to the bags for now if they are small.

Do you need the old net curtains / curtails (on my list to get rid, i have stuff from my mum from the 70's) actually curtains to dog/cats home for blankets, i'm sure they won't mind if they are as hiddious as my mums. (sorry mum)

jinky67

Right woman you need a swift boot up the jacksie!

New home, new start

Do you really need to take all the junk which has been cluttering up your house?

NO you bloody well dont:A

You want your new house to be clean and fresh and easy to keep clean, to give you time to do the things you like

Holding onto things is a total waste of time

I speak as someone who could never bear to throw things away, so I know where you are coming from, BUT once you ditch all the crap it actually feels like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders

If you dont want to Ebay give it all to charity, so at least some good comes from it, for someone

And I dont want your Radley bags, cos I hate them :rotfl:

I have Kipling ones instead:D, they fold up really really really small

Lunar_Eclipse

aliasojo wrote: »

I've kinda joked my way through this thread but to be serious for a minute, I do feel like I'm giving up my life, my home, my routine, my kids' lives, my garden (which sounds really daft but it was becoming the only enjoyable hobby I've ever had for me, in many many years, and loads of other things that make me feel 'safe'.

I know and I do sympathise. What you are feeling is fear of change. And it's understandable, particularly since you didn't choose it and don't really want it.

But. And it's a big but. You probably also now that 'that day' never usually comes, for using the might need/use that things. And also, you are not defined by the things that you love, so I honestly doubt you are going to feel like there's none of you left when you declutter (I'm quite sure you'll still keep enough/plenty anyway.)

I believe that life teaches you the lessons you need to learn. I can't help but wonder how this adventure will pan out for you. I've got great vibes.:) If that sounds a bit new agey, maybe I should tell you I'm not a hippy living in a commune or anything like that, although that clearly has merit for some people.

Can recommend a fantastic book entitled 'The Joy of Less' by Francine Jay if you're interested in some help decluttering. It will help you decide what to keep and what to find new homes for, as well as giving you the courage to do so. I particularly liked reading about why people become attached to things and how they might think they are but often aren't. For full disclosure, I do not know or have any link to the person that wrote that book, besides reading it myself.