Child Stealing and Lying

themapples

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Are there any other children in the household or is she an only child?

A younger brother (4) and sister (7). Sometimes the sister is treated the same way but rarely.

4nnabella

I was just reading another thread on here from someone wanting advice as her ex's wife hit her son. Someone suggested she ring the NSPCC for advice. Not sure if that's worth a thought? As McKneff says, it is tantamount to mental abuse, what your niece has to go through.

ETA: this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3196976 post #22

Biofox wrote: »

I honestly think a call to the NSPCC might help you. It's not so extreme as the police or social services however you can speak with an advisor there and get some valuable advice. You don't need to give her name etc and it needn't go further than the advice if you don't want it to.

I am a counsellor for ChildLine (voluntary) and we get a number of calls from concerned parents/neighbours etc. We have to advise them to contact the NSPCC (since we are child centred) and a lot of people have reservations, but they can offer you some good advice.

Ms_Chocaholic

I would contact Social Services and report your concerns anonymously, tell them the punishments given by the parents are disproportionate and that you are concerned for the child's emotional well-being.

Social Services have a duty to investigate every report they receive and, as part of their investigation into the concerns you raise, will contact the school to establish if they too have any concerns regarding your niece.

Ms_Chocaholic

The only problem with OP ringing the NSPCC is that he/she will receive the advice but there's nothing he can do to force those actions on the parents.

themapples

4nnabella wrote: »

I was just reading another thread on here from someone wanting advice as her ex's wife hit her son. Someone suggested she ring the NSPCC for advice. Not sure if that's worth a thought? As McKneff says, it is tantamount to mental abuse, what your niece has to go through.

I'd never thought of that. Might be the best port of call, thanks.

feefeelalabelle

me myself i would ask my brother what the hell is going on. Tell him that even thought he may not feel the same as you, you find it uncomfortable as to how your niece is being treated, see if that opens any doors, some brothers would slam it shut in your face but it depends on your relationship with him. On the other hand if he is besotted with his wife and would do anything to keep her happy then i wouldnt go there. i suppose its hard to talk to your neice if they wont let her out of your site. If it was me and i had tried to find out what was going on but with no joy i would make a suggestion to social services (anonymous) and explain a tiny concern, they will look into it and if there is no problem they will be left alone to carry on as normal. thats just my opinion.......... well to be honest i dont know it is a difficult situation but if you dont do something and something happened to your niece you would feel responsible (not saying you would be at all) xxx

4nnabella

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

The only problem with OP ringing the NSPCC is that he/she will receive the advice but there's nothing he can do to force those actions on the parents.

Well yes I realise that but they may be able to give OP some advice on how to approach the situation or other avenues for support.

Anything's worth a try.

meritaten

you say the child has been in trouble at school - at nine this would be primary school wouldnt it? I would ask for an appointment with the headteacher and say its about your niece. then explain to the head exactly what you have told us. If the school also has concerns about her then this may well prompt a call to Social Services - you will be kept well out of it hun.
I have to say I am really concerned that they wont let this child have time with you. Are they afraid of what she will tell you?

themapples

feefeelalabelle wrote: »

me myself i would ask my brother what the hell is going on. Tell him that even thought he may not feel the same as you, you find it uncomfortable as to how your niece is being treated, see if that opens any doors, some brothers would slam it shut in your face but it depends on your relationship with him. On the other hand if he is besotted with his wife and would do anything to keep her happy then i wouldnt go there. i suppose its hard to talk to your neice if they wont let her out of your site. If it was me and i had tried to find out what was going on but with no joy i would make a suggestion to social services (anonymous) and explain a tiny concern, they will look into it and if there is no problem they will be left alone to carry on as normal. thats just my opinion.......... well to be honest i dont know it is a difficult situation but if you dont do something and something happened to your niece you would feel responsible (not saying you would be at all) xxx

LOL, that's how I feel! Something's got to be done- just dont know what!

faithcecilia

Without seeing exactly what the child does, I actually dont see the punishments as that bad. 20mins isn't long for a 9yr old to be in time-out - I personally think it should be until the child is genuinely sorry (I know a child who has been 3hrs before saying sorry!). And if she is hungry enough, she will eat what is put in front of her. I simply cannot abide fussy eaters and certainly wouldn't provide alternative food.

If you are concerned, then try to talk to your brother, otherwise I would leave it be - you don't know what might have led up to the dress issue etc, or how badly she may have behaved previously.