lionheartedgirl promises to let it shine :)

lionheartedgirl

Gulp! Gulp again! Thanks everyone

Itsadogslife, I can't imagine losing one so young, that is so very sad! Our boy has been very special, and as Wordsmith says above, it will stir up a lot of other stuff.

Really, the dog is the last thing that remains of my marriage and while the marriage didn't last, we still had happy times and the dog was a massive symbol of that. I had a counselling session tonight and we talked a lot about the first day we got the dog, I still have what we call puppy photos (he was 5 when we got him but was a puppy really compared to what he is now!) and a little video clip we did of him chasing a tennis ball in the old yard

He is very clingy lately so we had lots of lovely cuddles last night (outside as it was cool and he likes that, and I can fuss him lots and the shed fur stays outside! :rotfl:).

I always had a fear of what to put under the stairs as it really is an odd shaped space which only one thing will fit in - the dog. I have been looking at a greyhound rescue place today (the one we got him from has closed now) and while I would love another one (not trying to be morbid given he hasn't even gone yet!), I don't think it's realistic with my hours during the week and haphazard weekends, even with a good dogsitter.

We talked a long time ago (when we were still married) about getting another dog when we were together for the same reason as you mention Itsadogslife, so there is never the total emptiness. But something occurred to me recently and I think it could work well as it will fit in with another goal I have and also be connected to the speed element of the creature that is the greyhound

Counselling was good tonight, much less traumatic than last time when there was a lot of talk about the ex fiance. A lot has happened in the background related to him (can't remember what I have said so will look back) which was very unsettling last time I was there. But a bit of time has helped. I need to see him at least once more and speak to him on the phone a few times regarding his phone, but am thinking about this too.

Work was tough today but got through it. Have so much to do especially as I wasn't in on Friday, but will tackle it from the itty bits first tomorrow morning and hope the rest falls into place too

lionheartedgirl

morning

just popping on quickly as I am still a bit giddy from last night. Had a glass of wine after counselling and watched the Eastenders repeat and then was wide awake.

So I checked out the pubs the guy in the guitar shop told me last night.

I am very excited as there is a jam night there every Monday and an open mic night once a month. So I am going to pop along to see what it's all about and maybe the journey will start sooner than I thought!

I did some practice on the new harp late last night and am really getting used to it. So I am going to put a little set list together, maybe 3 or 5 songs that I can get really familiar with. I have 3 so far and ideas for another couple but they are a bit of a mixed bag :rotfl:

Must remember not to forget about big harp in all the excitement though

LittleBoots

Awww the pubs sound great and just the kinda thing you are after
I love hearing about your Harp progress, its becoming such a big part of your life and looks like there are lots of new doors opeing for you from it.
Hope you are feeling less giddy

burntfingers_2

Glad to hear that everything is going well with regards to the new harp and hopefully the pubs will turn out to be everything that you want them to be and more..

As for the pooch situation, no-one could ever, ever prepare me for the love that you feel for a dog. I never really understood it as I was always a cat person until I got my rottie. He was an absolute gem....everyone said if there was ever a gentleman of dogs then he was one. He walked at my side without his lead and would nuzzle my hand as we walked. I absolutely loved him to bits. He was diagnosed with kidney disease at 5 months...one vet I spoke to told me bluntly to have him put to sleep as she had the same thing with her dog, and she told me that he would go down hill rapidly when it developed etc...couldn't bear the thought of that spoke to a different vet..he mentioned it could be managed, numerous tablets later, special diet and several thousands of pounds later he deteriorated so quickly in front of my eyes....he went to sleep on 4 November 2009. Even now typing this is bringing tears to my eyes...I don't ever feel I will get over him. He left such a huge gap in my life....but I cherish every moment that I had with him. Everyone loved him and still speaks of him even now...

I guess what I am trying to say is that you know when the time will come, it will break your heart and you will do whatever you feel is necessary at the time. Anyone who knows you will know how much you think of your dog and will understand that you will be bereft with grief and could turn up on their doorstep or ring them sobbing on the phone. You have peeps online who have been through the same thing and will be there to support you too.

I sorry its a sad response, but I for one are here to support you as I am sure there are others too.

lionheartedgirl

Thanks for all the comments on the dog. It's made more difficult because ex hubby is in total denial about how bad it is. I feel I have to stand up for the dog so that he isn't suffering for too much longer.

But I feel like the Angel of Doom because I have had to keep on and on at ex hubby about it for him to get the message. And the dynamics of my relationship with him are now different for all sorts of reasons, so we don't tackle joint decisions in the same way as we would before.

I am trying to do the right thing for the dog, and all I hear from all sides is "well, Ex will find it very difficult as it's his first dog" like it's easy for me. It's not bloody easy :mad: and as usual I will just have to be brave on the outside and not make a fuss until I am at home. I will pick some supportive friends as suggested, but what I would like is for someone to drop everything and come to mine when I need them, as I have done for others over the years. Ooh can feel the tears pricking so am going to move off this subject!

Other news - not much tbh. Work is passing, busy day so best get back to it!

mrs_motivated

Aaaw LHG ((((huge hugs to you and your dog))) .. its really difficult when any animal is ill and your head and heart both tell you different things.

Really excited for you about the pub thing / harps etc. you are sooo talented, i would love to be able to play a musical instrument and harps are so mystical (:A).... unfortunately even at school i was only allowed on the triangle due to been totally tone deaf - although i do love to listen to all kinds of music and sing loudly when i get the chance (usually when driving alone or in the bath)

xxx

lionheartedgirl

thanks Mrs M, it's taken years of practice and training and a long break (10 years!) to help me realise how much I really want it now, but my way and on my terms nowt wrong with the triangle! :T

I have done my big supermarket shop this evening, am feeling quite positive about sticking to my budget this month. I have a couple of emergency pizzas stashed for those evenings when I have done a wedding and can't be bothered to cook, so hopefully this will work!

So should just need veg/milk top ups for the rest of the month now. Fingers crossed.

My big work frog is still repeating a little but really the worst is over and the results have been really positive so I am pleased with that.

My harp buddy has a big audition tomorrow for something very exciting so am thinking of her and hoping she will be brilliant and can get the gig we are off to see another harpist on Sunday doing something very unusual compared to what we both normally do, so am looking forward to that.

Ex hubs has said the dog is much brighter now his paw is better so that's something. But I worry he is looking for false positives. Will see how he is next week.

Looking forward to The Apprentice in a bit, it's a bit like nails down a blackboard but it's always a hot topic at work so like to keep on top of what's going on! And it reminds me that I am quite good at my job really! :rotfl:

choogirl

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

Looking forward to The Apprentice in a bit, it's a bit like nails down a blackboard but it's always a hot topic at work so like to keep on top of what's going on! And it reminds me that I am quite good at my job really! :rotfl:

Me too - I love The Apprentice, its cringeworthy but very addictive watching. Its always a hot topic in my office as well, I'd hate to miss it and then not be able to join in the discussion!

Souk08

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

.

And it reminds me that I am quite good at my job really! :rotfl:

Lol at this. I cant wait for it!!! Sorry about your dog hon, not an animal person myslef so I cant be of help on this particular subject but Im here whatever X

lionheartedgirl

glad I'm not alone!

how lovely is Gavin the scouser! swoooon!!!!