lionheartedgirl promises to let it shine :)

hypno06

I agree! And how very therapeutic too - exercising control and clutter freedom too. Sounds good to me!

Wordsmith

DEFINITELY get rid of the ex's stuff. What is it doing apart from upsetting you? It can't be making you feel closer to him and is just making you feel bad. Can you box it and take it round to his mum's or a mate's? This weekend? You've made the first step - you will feel SO much better for making the next one and getting rid of it. At the moment he has the upper hand and is control - while you have his stuff he has a link to you that he can take advantage of sometime. You don't want him back, he isn't coming back - break the possessions connection and you will feel better. I promise you.

Everything else sounds just great. Long may it last.

lionheartedgirl

I'm not connected to his stuff in any way, it is proving problematic getting him to collect it. The trophies were a bit more difficult but that's done now. They will go to his mum's in the post if necessary as I don't want to chuck them. Everything else is in the garage.

I am not sure how I stand legally if I get rid of things that belong to him.

I have been trying, but he refuses to come when I am there. I was going to leave things in the porch for him after my birthday but things have got too busy and doing the trophies has made me realise just how much there is, so it's not practical to leave them in the porch. He has no car now and lives 50 miles away to the best of my knowledge.

Some of the things he has left in the garage are tools etc and I won't be throwing those out (will use them though if he doesn't want them haha! my dad has his eye on a few!)

I agree they need to go, but he is likely to get emotionally aggressive if I push too hard and I just cannot be doing with it. I don't need it, it puts me back in a place where I don't want to be and can't handle.

He doesn't have friends round here, and all the friends I know of are owed money by him so won't want his stuff anyway. Plus they are miles away.

If I really have to, I will throw the rest (non-tools) away but I would prefer him just to man up and come and get them.

The middle of October is my next free-ish weekend to sort things out. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but tbh it's not really getting in the way or bothering me so I have just left it for another time.

Connection wise, I think if anything it proves he has no intention of coming back which is fine by me. If it was stuff he needed or wanted he would have been round. I only have to be on OK terms with him til April next year then the phone contract is done. Until then he owes me £25 per month which I cannot and will not pay for him if at all possible.

I haven't talked much about his stuff but that's not becuase I haven't been doing anything, just can't be doing with it. It will go but it's not top of the priority list at the moment.

Hope that doesn't sound too ranty, it is a bit of a sore one when I think about having to get in touch with him.

He refuses to talk on the phone, he will only text. He sends long rambling aggressive texts and then when I don't reply he then eventaully apologises but makes out it's my fault. What a guy :rotfl: Hence why I cannot be doing with it at the moment.

redsquirrel80

Don't blame you for not wanting to deal with that!

Exciting stuff re the nice-sounding man, and :rotfl: at your phonecall, brilliant!

Wordsmith

Sorry - I didn't mean to hit such a sore nerve.

lionheartedgirl

no need to apologise Wordsmith, it's still a bit deep and reading it all back, deeper than I gave it credit for!

So. the chap my friend has put me in touch with seems really nice. he lives a bit away but is out this way for work and may be buying a house about 40 mins away which could be handy.

there is a possibilty of meeting up tonight, I need to decide in the next hour whether to go. It's about a 90min drive each way which is fine, and it won't be a long one so I will be tucked up in bed to get some sleep ready for tomorrow. He won't be offended if I don't as he knows why I might not go.

I am up for going to meet him, I am all for seizing an opportunity and he seems quite keen (not in a nutter kind of way like normal haha). he looks LOVELY from his FB pics and my friend says he is a real gent. Hmmm! But am just a bit nervous.

I have practised for tomorrow loads, any more today and I am going to make things worse I think. I'm kind of thinking a change of scenery will be just the ticket rather than sitting in with X factor etc.

choogirl

Hi Lionheartedgirl

I like the fashion maths thought process, must try that myself at some point.

Hope you have a good evening (out or in with the X Factor)

satchmo1

"I am not sure how I stand legally if I get rid of things that belong to him."

If you give a "reasonable" deadline for him to collect said items, legally you can get rid. Reasonable is 2-3 days after posting a recorded letter, 24 hours after an email (suggest you ensure it is "read receipt") to be on the safe side. Not sure if you can profit from disposale of said items tho!

My ExH was a poseur, and (cough) "unhappy" that his e.g. Hugo Boss silk suit had been left in the garage and got damp. Not my prob

Hugs
Satchmo

lionheartedgirl

just popping on briefly to say I had the most wonderful weekend! :eek: :j

I went in the end on Saturday, he texted me again about 5pm to ask if I was coming and I decided I would give it a whirl otherwise I would have been staring at the harp all night. Glad I did as he is lovely! and seems very keen (but in a good way not a stalker way -well so far anyway!). Hopefully we will meet up again this week but he is on call for the first week in 3 months (which he is :mad: about the timing!) so will be a bit tricky. Seems to have his head screwed on and enjoys making the most of life so all good

yesterday's concert went off really well, I made some fairly significant fluffs but managed to cover them OK and kept my poker face on as if nothing had happened friends came and they were the least likely ones in terms of travel arrangements, I felt very blessed to have all the support I had. We went off to a beautiful country pub afterwards (my favourite spot, talking to the cows - although the cows had gone to hide) and it was a Kodak moment as it were, some of the people I love most on the entire planet were there and I am still quite choked as to how nice it was.

My parents were there, my mum's best friend, my old housemate, a couple of bike friends, singer, guitarist, the lovely vicar and her hubby and her very bouncy dog, plus a potential pupil who had come down from Kings Lynn with his wife and 3 gorgeous kids. We had a couple of hours by the river just laughing and chatting and it was fantastic :j

got home and could hardly keep my eyes open - definitely on a comedown from all the nerves and excitement. I managed 15 mins of Downton Abbey and went off to bed :rotfl:

busy week ahead but am full of beans and ready to go!

hope to catch up with diaries later

redsquirrel80

Well done for the concert! :T The man sounds rather lovely as well, hope he turns out to be a good un