Teenage (unplanned) pregnancy

jinky67

taxi36 wrote: »

With every post I read I get a little more positive about our situation.

hey, its only a baby;)

vroombroom

I think an unplanned pregnancy is scary no matter what age your are.
My mum was devastated at first (I had come out of 4 year relationship, sold my house, moved 300 miles to be near my mum and was living in a rented house at the time we fell pregnant so far from ideal!) and she didnt speak to me for a few hours. But now she is more excited than me!:rotfl:

no-oneknowsme

Hi Op I have no specific advice for you as you seem to be handling the situation very well.

Just wanted to say that I also have a DD of 17 and can only imagine how shocked I would be if she was expecting a baby.

Please do keep us informed when the choice is made.

Lirin

Hi Taxi,

Your daughter sounds very mature from what you have posted. Yes, contraception exists, people generally know the birds and bees too young now- but accidents can happen.
You sound as if you're 100% there for her, and that's good. I'm 7 weeks pregnant- and although normally a fairly laid-back person (is true, ask my husband!) I've found that right now, my emotions are everywhere. I'm angry sometimes at nothing (I did shout at a taxi driver the other day, i do hope it wasn't you, as that's not like me at all!), tired, sleepy, feeling tears, wanting to jump for joy- every emotion passing in minutes sometimes. With your daughter and her circumstances, I'm sure that's much more pronounced.
Believe me, even when a baby is planned- it is still a massive shock. I'm sure there's so much going through her head as well as yours, and some will be questions that simply have no answer yet.
I've sent you a couple of PM's, as I'm in NI as well.

Alison_B

OP, I can so sympathise with you. We are going through exactly the same situation as you. My 16 year old son announced a couple of weeks ago that his 17 year old girlfriend is pregnant. I too am going through exactly the same emotions as you, hurt, anger, disappointment. Not the start to adult life that any of us envisaged for our children but it has happened and we just now have to help them deal with things as best as we can.

Making matters worse for us is the fact that my son is ill at present and has finished college and has no means to work until his illness has been sorted out. He has been ill for 6 months and I do feel that he has just thrown his life away. It would have been nice if they could have gone away on holidays together, lived together for a few years and got settled in life before this. It has been pointed out to me that it is just a different path that he is taking rather than the one we wanted him to have.

My main concern is how are they going to support this baby? Where are they going to live? Our house is not big enough for them to move in together and her house isn't big enough either. They will have to live apart for the forseeable future which won't be ideal once baby arrives.

I wish you well with whatever happens.

Mojisola

taxi - re the posts 137 and 142 - if there isn't a textbook on how to handle this situation, you should write one! With you and your wife's attitudes and support as you describe, your daughter will do very well.

make_me_wise

Lirin you make some very good points. My sil felt all the emotions that you describe in the early stages of her pregnancy too. She was exhausted emotionally and physically, teary, anxious on top of feeling lousy with morning sickness. My brother, bless him, would often moan about how hormonal she was. Though never when she was in earshot, lol

OP I think you are handling things great with your daughter. At 17 in addition to discovering she is pregnant which must be daunting, she is trying to cope with a bf who is not overjoyed at the news, his parents who are very anti the pregnancy and all the hormonal emotions that pregnancy brings. Plus you live in an area where teenage pregnancy is looked down on far more than say here in the UK, which must bring exceptional pressure by itself.

She is very lucky to have your full support and you may find she needs to discuss things alot and ask you lots of questions over the coming days and weeks. Whatever happens, in a few years time she will look back and remember how you were there for her and be thankfull for how you helped. Keep that in mind when things get tough for you as you work your way through this as a family.

fannyanna

Well each time I come back to have a look at this post to see how things have progressed I end up feeling very emotional and on this occasion I am sitting at work looking very stupid staring at my screen with tears in my eyes.

I can therefore only imagine how emotional this situation is for you and your family. My excuse is hormones though and the fact that having very recently started trying for a baby I’m finding anything remotely baby orientated emotional

taxi36

Mojisola wrote: »

taxi - re the posts 137 and 142 - if there isn't a textbook on how to handle this situation, you should write one! With you and your wife's attitudes and support as you describe, your daughter will do very well.

Thank you for this comment. I do not proclaim to know much but I DO know that I love my Daughter and want her to have the best life she can possibly have.
It's amazing to realise just how far I have come this past few days. Just goes to show that with support (yes you lot I MEAN YOU :T) anything is possible.

Couldnt have got this far without "talking" to you all.

Thanks. Will post back soon.

Kimberley82

Our Daughter asked me last night "Dad , how do I decide what to do when one of us wants the baby and one does not".At that precise point in time I looked at my Daughter and knew that in her heart she wants this baby.

the answer is the woman gets to make the decision.