Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

girlatplay

I know from experience that things don't happen overnight. You just need to stay focused, even when things don't seem to be going your way. Never give up on your goals and dreams.

It's great that OH is taking the three of you away for the weekend. It will give you some time enjoy your family. Good idea with the note book. I used to have one and I keep promising myself I will get another one. I thought it was in my bag but annoyingly it is not. I just haven't got round to getting another one yet. It is quite MSE as you can keep all your ideas in it and make notes along the way. Also, it serves as a good reminder when you look back over it in a year's time and you can see what you have actually achieved.

Just for the record, Mr Gap doesn't know I come on here either. He knows I have the loan to pay off but he wouldn't understand about me "talking" to people I don't know, especially as I am one of the most private people he says he has ever met.

Take care :cool:

Gap x

beverleyhills

Personalised greeting cards.

As she is a busy person she would not spend the time (apart from family) if some reward was not there. She has built it up over a period of time through family and friends. She also does wedding stationary and attends wedding fairs.

They are computer generated.

You need to take into account cost of materials and your time and profit to calculate an attractive selling price for your customers.

I have seen many handcrafted cards being sold at a price thet does not reflect the time and effort the maker has put in.

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

What a lovely surprise! Hope that you have a great weekend and enjoy your time away.

Good idea with the notebook - sometimes writing things down can quite a theraputic experience, helping to clarify and sort out information in your mind.

Go and have fun, relax and enjoy.

Diz xx

PS: My DH doesn't know about me using this forum either! I don't think he'd 'get it'. I get more support from peolpe on here than I do from him

Thank you Diz, had a great weekend. The notebook didnt get as much as much writing as I thought it would over the weekend but I did plan and sort out my head. Will post my first page on here!!

Sorry to hear you dont get much support from your DH, just think actually they can only support us so much hey, that actually we need our 'friends and support' on here cause its our place where we can be true to ourselves and others without a tut or groan! xx

Lost_and_nervous

mummytogirls wrote: »

Awwww lost thats lovely that DH is taking you away for the weekend, you deserve it so enjoy the time away .

I dont know if ive missed this bit but does DH know about the debt?
You see my DH didnt and so I could never let him know I was on here cos then my secret would be out. The only people that knew about the debt were the people reading and posting in my diary .

It all came out in December when we started receiving phone calls about a missed payment and I had no alternative but to tell him. He was so shocked at first but then he was sad to see that I had been hiding this secret to myself for so long. I seriously thought if I told him he would divorce me, thats how against credit he is! But he was so supportive and although its been hard we are through the worst now.

The weekend after it all came out it snowed really badly and all 4 of us went out sledging. I felt like a completely different person at this point cos I knew I had nothing to hide. Where as previously I wouldnt have enjoyed this time with my little family as id have so much flying round in my head and also thinking has the post man been whilst were out!

So I guess what im trying to say is enjoy this weekend with your little family cos everyone needs a break and some fun sometimes. Sorry for rambling!! x x

Thank you mummy, I do feel slightly guilty though.

No my OH doesnt know about my debt. I am so happy that your DH has been supportive and you are through the worst of it. Thats really good news.

I couldnt tell my OH, we have overcome a lot of relationship problems and it would break us. I just dont feel strong enough to let him in on this burden and also he has a demanding job.

I can understand about the so much flying round in my head! Its non stop.

You didnt ramble, its lovely that you are taking the time to share your life with me. Its so warming as it is with everyone who are sharing my journey. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

I know from experience that things don't happen overnight. You just need to stay focused, even when things don't seem to be going your way. Never give up on your goals and dreams.

It's great that OH is taking the three of you away for the weekend. It will give you some time enjoy your family. Good idea with the note book. I used to have one and I keep promising myself I will get another one. I thought it was in my bag but annoyingly it is not. I just haven't got round to getting another one yet. It is quite MSE as you can keep all your ideas in it and make notes along the way. Also, it serves as a good reminder when you look back over it in a year's time and you can see what you have actually achieved.

Just for the record, Mr Gap doesn't know I come on here either. He knows I have the loan to pay off but he wouldn't understand about me "talking" to people I don't know, especially as I am one of the most private people he says he has ever met.

Take care :cool:

Gap x

Thank you gap for your inspiring post, I feel more determined than ever now to not give up on my goals or dreams.

Sorry to hear you cant find your notebook, isnt that so annoying when you know where you last had something. I may write the date that I started it in it as thats a good idea to be able to look back over it.

We really are all together aren't we. its lovely being able to share how you feel with people you don't know because you aren't judged as you would be with people you do know. And being a private person doesn't mean you aren't able to share your life with people you don't know. I have learnt from being on here, we all need to talk to others. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

beverleyhills wrote: »

Personalised greeting cards.

As she is a busy person she would not spend the time (apart from family) if some reward was not there. She has built it up over a period of time through family and friends. She also does wedding stationary and attends wedding fairs.

They are computer generated.

You need to take into account cost of materials and your time and profit to calculate an attractive selling price for your customers.

I have seen many handcrafted cards being sold at a price thet does not reflect the time and effort the maker has put in.

Thank you beverleyhills for your post, sounds like she has an amazing business. and I will take into account all the areas of handcrafted items. I think people don't always appreciate special items. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

I had a lovely weekend and feel very refreshed. Its amazing what a change of scenery, no phone and fresh air can do for a person. DD enjoyed spending time as a family and playing. We didn't do very much but it was perfect. It made me think how lucky I am and that the debt is my fault but I will and am dealing with it.

I wrote in my notebook, not very much but its another thing OH doesnt know about, its all about my mind, my ideas, my journey.

'I am going to do everything to my best ability, I am going to do everything I say I am going to do, I am going to do my best. I have had enough of mess and clutter in my life, I have had enough of making do with no effort to try to achieve so now I will do it. I want to no longer be the dysfunctional unorganised person I have been, I want to be organised hardworking and functional focused individual, I want to be a better person all round not only for myself but for my daughter and for my partner. I will not be beaten.'

Now I am home I am going to really focus on everything. I work part time so 2 days a week I will not be doing much but I will be able to do the rest of the week.

Its going to be a happy journey. xxx

girlatplay

I think it is great that you are feeling more positive now :T Remember, if you have a bad day or if things don't go quite how you want them to go, there is always the next day. Don't lose heart, just move on to the next bit. It won't be perfect all the time but never give up.

With my notebook, I dated all the days that I wrote in it. I used to write things like shopping lists, bills to pay, meter readings and just generally how I was feeling. Each day I started with the date, kind of like a diary. If I paid a bill I wrote how much I paid and if I called a company I wrote the details of the call and the person's name (VERY important!! )

Yes, I like that I can come on here, speak to people and not be judged like I would be in real life. My friends are fantastic but sometimes they can be judgemental, only because they care but sometimes I don't want to hear it!

I'm really glad you have had a good weekend. Onwards and upwards

Gap x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

I think it is great that you are feeling more positive now :T Remember, if you have a bad day or if things don't go quite how you want them to go, there is always the next day. Don't lose heart, just move on to the next bit. It won't be perfect all the time but never give up.

With my notebook, I dated all the days that I wrote in it. I used to write things like shopping lists, bills to pay, meter readings and just generally how I was feeling. Each day I started with the date, kind of like a diary. If I paid a bill I wrote how much I paid and if I called a company I wrote the details of the call and the person's name (VERY important!! )

Yes, I like that I can come on here, speak to people and not be judged like I would be in real life. My friends are fantastic but sometimes they can be judgemental, only because they care but sometimes I don't want to hear it!

I'm really glad you have had a good weekend. Onwards and upwards

Gap x

Thank you so much for your kind words and you are very right, its not always going to be perfect but I must not give up.

You really used your note book for everything didnt you, thats fantastic and I am going to take your tip and use mine for everything. Thats one thing I do sometimes forget is to write a persons name down when I call a company, or I write it down and loose the paper I have scribbled on. :cool:

Being judged doesnt help does it, even though they do care it does make you feel down. And we need positivity.

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Good morning everyone, another sunny day so am going to catch up on washing! I have done some calculations and it looks like we should be entitled to Child Tax Credits again, hopefully. Am going to give them a call today so fingers crossed.

I was having a clear out of the shed as am thinking of doing some vegetable pots and at the back I found an old metal bin, one of those square ones, it had loads of stuff in but I have loads of old rubbish paperwork/papers and I have read that people some people burn it instead of shredding it, does anyone know how this would work? Environmentally is it ok?

Have got some ebay sales to package up and send today then I will know how much I have made from the recent listings. Found lots more stuff to list.

xxx