Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

Hello to you all.

This has taken a lot of courage to do this, I live in a small town where everyone knows your name, your business and judge you. Therefore I am staying as annoymonous as I can. This diary is going to be my heart out on the line and open to you all. I will probably take thread breaks as its really hard for me. Thank you to you all for reading and bare with me.

I have been lurking on this site for a while, just have not had the courage to join. Something which I now know will help me.

I am nearly 30 :mad: and am a first time mum which is a wonderful happy experience, and I need to change to help my daughter grow up understanding the importance of not judging people, working hard to gain things in life without debt. Something which I was taught but got myself caught up in the 'city' life when am a small town girl. Credit was readily available. Silly me.

I have now made the biggest decision to deal with something I have hid. But I have lost myself in myself and am very nervous. I was taking antidepressants but felt they were making me worst and there was days when I would not go out. I am scared in the house, scared out of the house, and worry about everything. Bed seems the best option but with my daughter she gives me inspiration to move and at least do the best with her.

I have a partner who I love dearly but being a big part of the small town, I have had to keep myself closed it. He is very supportive but its not fair on him to take my burdens. He has a stressful demanding job but never lets it get in the way of family time. My past is my past and he is my future.

I used to work full time, money was never an issue, credit got me more of the luxuary in life and I always had my nails done, eyelash extensions, hair done, latest phones, new bags and shoes, clothes every week, I had a figure and motivation.

i am now working part time as childminding is too expensive for full time and I wouldnt gain. Mums I have spoken to are in the same situation. I qualified as a beautician whilst on maternity leave but just havent got the money to get it off the ground. My reason for qualifing was to be able to work during the evenings when childcare wouldnt be an issue.

I dont know what I can do, my wages dont cover my debts, I just need to solve the problems.

I will post my soa.

Little_bit_dizzy

I can empathise with your situation in that I also live in a village where everyone knows who you are, what you do and the ins and outs of your daily life. It can be quite invasive at times.

Taking the first brave move by posting is a step in the right direction so you should be very proud of that and you sound like a wonderful Mum, wanting to instill some great qualities in your daughter.

Good luck on your journey, I hope that in time you will find your way again and not be so lost and I hope you find the support on here that I and lots of other have been lucky enough to find. It's amazing how much an 'annonymous friendship' can help.

Woowoo

Hi Lost & Nervous

Well done for the taking the first step and posting on here.

The support I have received from the people on this site has been invaluable and has gotten me through some hard times and given me the motivation to keep on debt busting.

I am also 30, its never too late to sort things out x

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

I can empathise with your situation in that I also live in a village where everyone knows who you are, what you do and the ins and outs of your daily life. It can be quite invasive at times.

Taking the first brave move by posting is a step in the right direction so you should be very proud of that and you sound like a wonderful Mum, wanting to instill some great qualities in your daughter.

Good luck on your journey, I hope that in time you will find your way again and not be so lost and I hope you find the support on here that I and lots of other have been lucky enough to find. It's amazing how much an 'annonymous friendship' can help.

Thank you so much for your wonderful kind words. Its so lovely to know that someone is going through everyone knowing your business. I wish I could work out why people need to worry what everyone else is up to, their business and the ins and outs. Its very sad that people are so cruel.

Thank you, I hope so too. I want to make a difference and find myself again.

Has this site helped you?

Lost_and_nervous

Woowoo wrote: »

Hi Lost & Nervous

Well done for the taking the first step and posting on here.

The support I have received from the people on this site has been invaluable and has gotten me through some hard times and given me the motivation to keep on debt busting.

I am also 30, its never too late to sort things out x

Thank you so much for your kind inspiration. its wonderful to know who is in the same situation as me and have worked through it.

Lost_and_nervous

I have checked my online banking this morning and I am -£100. I have bills coming out in a few days, I need to sort this mess out.

My partner and I have separate bank accounts and we have split all the bills in half. My partner helps me with the shopping now.

At the moment I earn - £605 a month wages. I receive £80 child benefit. Child tax credit has been stopped due to our earnings.

I pay a month:

- council tax £125 (over 12 months)
- Water and sewage - £49
- House insurance £38.37
- nursery fees £160
- Gas £54
- electric £32
- tv/phone/internet £40
- food shopping £100
- petrol for work £60
- car insurance £38.64

Debts:

- credit card 1 19.9% £9326
- credit card 2 37.9% £798.12
- credit card 3 37.9% £345.78
- credit card 4 37.9% £267.89
- loan 1 £1458 (18 months left)
- loan 2 £144 (due 10th May)
- loan 3 £125 (due 25th May)

Thats so daunting looking at that. So scary.

Lost_and_nervous

Ok so my plan is to pay all these off by selling things on ebay, I have been looking on this forum at the making extra money section and Avon seems appealing, I obviously want to get my beautician qualifications to use just need to work out ways of doing it at minimal cost, And trying to get everything down to an absolute minimal. Its so scary, but I need to face my fears and do the upmost to succeed. Its all very well thinking things and making lists but I need to work towards them, stop hiding. The shopping I pay does not include what my partner pays. I dont want to be a burden to everyone.

MartyBoy

Well done for making the first steps in addressing the problem. We order from Avon every month and our local 'avon lady' says she receives an order from 1 in every 5 houses. This will be a good way to build up some extra income. Keep being positive - you will get loads of support from the MSE users on this board.

Lost_and_nervous

MartyBoy wrote: »

Well done for making the first steps in addressing the problem. We order from Avon every month and our local 'avon lady' says she receives an order from 1 in every 5 houses. This will be a good way to build up some extra income. Keep being positive - you will get loads of support from the MSE users on this board.

Thank you so much for reading my diary and giving me that heart inlighting piece of information about Avon, thats really good to know. I will enquire today then. I know I will need to put lots of work in but I know that I put a lot of work into getting into debt now I need to put alot of work into getting out of debt. Thank you. MSE users on this board all seem so fantastic and its wonderful to know that everyone supports everyone. No judging or evilness. I am pleased to be part of this.

MartyBoy

Oh, forgot to say, when you join Avon you can take the Avon book with you when you go to mum and toddler groups etc. Once everyone knows you are taking it seriously and 'always selling' you will pick up extra orders. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you - good luck.

Aria`s_Tail

Hi there,
I just wanted to say keep your chin up, it WILL get better. You have made the first, toughest step which is wanting to do something about it.
I moved back to my home town 3 years ago and hate it, just like you everyone knows everyone elses business and twitters about it behind your back.
My true lightbulb moment was when I walked out of a 9 year relationship that had got so bad I left him with everything (long story). Anyway, the only thing I had to show was £18k of debt, most of which was spent doing HIS house up. You live and learn!
You CAN change things.
Avon sounds great for you, Ebay (as your daughter grows out of clothes and toys have a go at selling them to pay for new) and or car boot sales. Try Oline surveys such as One Poll, the pennies all add up.