Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi Lost and nervous :hello:

Hope you don't mind me popping in like this. Just wanted to say you are doing so well! It is hard and the bad days are bad but remember that there is a good day just around the corner. It all gets better in time and the good days start outweighing the bad and so on.

I'm a couple of years further down the line now but I make sure that I open all my mail as soon as it comes through the door and deal with everything right away. I am ex-directory and the only people who have my numbers are the ones I want to have them.

I have followed loads of tips from both this site and the forums and I have found them incredibly helpful. Also, I have found the people here so supportive.

I will pop in every now and then.

Gap x


*subscribes*

Hi Gap, thank you for taking the time to read my diary, well done on your achievements. You have done really well and its an inspiration to know that there are so many people who have started off where I am but I doing so much and have come so far.

How do you make phones ex directory? Is it only on the house phone? My mobile is the problem.

Thank you again x

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

I'm sure I read on one of the threads on here that you can write to all the people you owe money to and ask that all communications be in writing, not by telephone. So far as I'm aware, if they then telephone you it can be classed as harrasment. If I find the info I'll post you the link.

Hope they rest of the ebay stuff is getting bids & great news on the o/d. Just remember, baby steps, thats all you need to do everyday, baby steps.

Have you spoken to any of you creditors about them accepting reduced payments for a period of time? And have you had a look at changing gas / elec etc to get a better deal if there is one?

Hope you and your daughter have been enjoying the sun

Diz xx

Thank you Diz, that would be very helpful. baby steps I like that. I havent at the moment as its only really been the last month that I have missed payments. Before then it would be the late payment but I paid. Dont ask me how.

We have, we have been sitting in the garden which has been nice. I look at her and she gives me so much happiness, but just wish I didnt have the burden on my shoulders. x

Lost_and_nervous

All your threads have made me have a cry of happiness, your all so kind and your wishes and thoughts are so wonderful. When I am on here, I feel something lift from my shoulders and its as if everything can been looked at.

I had an awful day yesterday. On a positive note I am now an Avon rep well I need to wait for my account number to come through and then I will get my books etc.

And then I received my payslip, I am just under £300 down on my wages this month due to timesheets not being passed to payroll before the cut off date. I was so calm though when I called them and spoke to them calmly. They said that they are not able to give me the money this month and that I will have to wait till next month as it all has to be done through payroll. I accepted it at that point but it wasnt until last night that it hit me. Not only am I unable to pay my bills this month but I wont be able to get to work. And also I will now have to pay tax on my earnings next month as they will be above the tax code. Something I really am not happy about. But they appologised and spoke to the supervisor who was supposed to get the timesheets in on time. My OH has given me £250 which I dont have to repay and he has covered the shopping. I did feel a sense of relief.

Its just one thing after another and it hurts me so much. I am so grateful for life though as there are others who are in a worst situation than me but its just all the silly things that mount up not to mention the small town difficulties.

Even a friend well who I thought was a friend, not one I would ever open up to or tell how I feel etc but one that you have girly chats over coffee, has even stabbed me in the back and has critised me for the person I am and how I do things. I am just so fed up of being around these people. If only they knew exactly how I did feel.

I also did my monthly weigh yesterday and in a month Ive only lost 2lb. That upset me as I have tried so hard. So I am now thinking about going running during the evening just so I can loose weight and clear my head.

Need to check ebay. Taken photos of lots more bits, didnt get time to list yesterday so am going to make it my priority this afternoon.

Tiny steps. xx

pennywisepoundstupid

So sorry your wages have been fluffed up, good that OH has helped you out.

I have also had friends like that over the years and now i've grown a bit older and wiser i tend to drop them as harsh as that sounds, if they are a true friend they respect how you choose to live your life and not criticise/b!tch behind your back people that do are not friends, i always find that those sorts of people leave me feeling sucked dry as though they they suck any confidence and life out of you and being around them makes you feel drained (or is that just me).

Anyway keep your chin up hun you are doing well.

girlatplay

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

How do you make phones ex directory? Is it only on the house phone? My mobile is the problem.

With your mobile it depends if you are on pay as you go or a contract. If you are pay as you go it is as simple as getting a new sim card with a different number and then giving everyone you want your number and not giving it to anyone you don't want. Tell people not to give your number out. Make up any old lie if you want to so you don't have to tell them anything.

If you have a contract you would have to contact your network. I haven't done that before so I don't know how easy it is to change your number that way but it is worth asking them.

Landline - the suppliers are reluctant to change numbers unless there are extreme circumstances. You can ask to be made ex-directory and they will take your number out of the phone book (as of next issue) and they will take it off searches ( e.g. if someone searches for you on the BT residential website) but I'm not sure how willing they would be to change it. You have to be getting threatening or disturbing calls. I guess you are in that situation so you could try

I hope you have a pay and go mobile then it will be so straightforward.

I have also had friends like that over the years and now i've grown a bit older and wiser i tend to drop them as harsh as that sounds, if they are a true friend they respect how you choose to live your life and not criticise/b!tch behind your back people that do are not friends, i always find that those sorts of people leave me feeling sucked dry as though they they suck any confidence and life out of you and being around them makes you feel drained (or is that just me).

I am quoting pennywisepoundstupid here (great name, describes myself very well!) I'm not sure how to go back and quote again properly. I completely agree. I choose my friends very carefully now. I don't have many real friends but the ones I do have I can trust with my life. We are all very close knit but still to this day, if there is something I don't want them to know, they will never know.

Okay, sorry, I seem to have taken over your diary here. I am away to stalk some others now and leave you in peace.

I also noticed I haven't put many smillies so here you are:

:j :beer: :T

Keep smilling, even when you don't feel like it. Sometimes it can make you feel better.

Gap x

Mags30

Hi :wave:I've just suscribed too.

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

How hard is it selling to house? What happens if I have an off day/miss a delivery to a customer?

I'm not an Avon rep but last night I had my first Avon order delivered. If you aren't feeling up to doing deliveries you need to text or email people to tell them. Obviously you don't have to give them the real reason. People won't care if you deliver on Wednesday instead of Monday just so long as you keep in touch so they know you are reliable.

For this texting system to work you need a phone that you aren't scared of. So just get a free sim card and put it in an old phone or get a new really cheap one. Perhaps you could also give this new number to family and friends so that you can mostly turn off the one that makes you jump everytime it rings.

LovelyLeeds

Don't worry too much about what other people are thinking/saying - just deal with what you have to do, you don't owe people explanations, persevere with good and positive steps to sort your situation out - Good luck.

Lost_and_nervous

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

So sorry your wages have been fluffed up, good that OH has helped you out.

I have also had friends like that over the years and now i've grown a bit older and wiser i tend to drop them as harsh as that sounds, if they are a true friend they respect how you choose to live your life and not criticise/b!tch behind your back people that do are not friends, i always find that those sorts of people leave me feeling sucked dry as though they they suck any confidence and life out of you and being around them makes you feel drained (or is that just me).

Anyway keep your chin up hun you are doing well.

I dont think it sounds harsh, and yes they do make me feel drained. and very negative. Its such a horrible feeling.

Thank you x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Thank you for your advice, I am on contract but the upgrade is due in 2 months so I will change my number. Thank you.

Thats lovely you have close friends!

Thank you for the smilies, and I really hope smiling will help. x

Lost_and_nervous

Mags30 wrote: »

Hi :wave:I've just suscribed too.



I'm not an Avon rep but last night I had my first Avon order delivered. If you aren't feeling up to doing deliveries you need to text or email people to tell them. Obviously you don't have to give them the real reason. People won't care if you deliver on Wednesday instead of Monday just so long as you keep in touch so they know you are reliable.

For this texting system to work you need a phone that you aren't scared of. So just get a free sim card and put it in an old phone or get a new really cheap one. Perhaps you could also give this new number to family and friends so that you can mostly turn off the one that makes you jump everytime it rings.

Thank you for the advice, I will do that. I just get days when I really find it hard. And getting a new number and keeping the other one off, I really like that. I do jump.

Thank you x