Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

Off to work soon so just thought I would quickly pop in to say after all my postage and ebay fees I have made £33.92. :j:j I am happy as that can come straight off a debt!

Have a lovely day everyone! xx

girlatplay

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

Is it hard to force yourself to be positive? I need to learn to force myself to do many things. Thats so good that your dr has perscribed sitting in the sunshine! Good excuse! :j

How old is little miss gap? Families are a nightmare! Its good your close to your parents and sister. Thats really good!

Thank you so much for your kind words, its so lovely that you are all here with me along my journey. It doesnt sound stalker like. I like it that I now have people to talk to, MSE friends! I will keep an eye open for your diary!

Its nice to know you can relate to the things I say, good to know I am not talking rubbish. :rotfl: xx

The truth is, I have to force myself to be positive every single day. Some days are easy, some days are hard and some days I am negative. I just keep going. I do it all for Little Miss Gap, without her, I really don't think I would be here. She is 10. She is such a little madam at times but most of the time she is so sweet, kind and caring. She has always been really caring about others. Even her teachers say that. I would be lost without her, she is like my best friend. My sister is my best friend and we are really close to my parents. I know I am really, really lucky to have that bond with my family.

I love the sunshine. People often say I was born in the wrong country (Scotland :rotfl: couldn't get less sunny!!) I am so much a happier person when the sun is shining, which it is today :T

There is nothing rubbish about what you say. Remember, everyone has their own story and to them it is personal and means a lot even if it doesn't mean anything to the next person. You are no different. I love the support on here, the friendly word now and again. Chin up

Gap x

Little_bit_dizzy

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

Off to work soon so just thought I would quickly pop in to say after all my postage and ebay fees I have made £33.92. :j:j I am happy as that can come straight off a debt!

Have a lovely day everyone! xx

Fantastic news!!! You sound much more optimistic today, which is great.


I had an Ebay blitz over the weekend and now have 13 items listed - unlucky for some so I may have to stick something else on too

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

The truth is, I have to force myself to be positive every single day. Some days are easy, some days are hard and some days I am negative. I just keep going. I do it all for Little Miss Gap, without her, I really don't think I would be here. She is 10. She is such a little madam at times but most of the time she is so sweet, kind and caring. She has always been really caring about others. Even her teachers say that. I would be lost without her, she is like my best friend. My sister is my best friend and we are really close to my parents. I know I am really, really lucky to have that bond with my family.

I love the sunshine. People often say I was born in the wrong country (Scotland :rotfl: couldn't get less sunny!!) I am so much a happier person when the sun is shining, which it is today :T

There is nothing rubbish about what you say. Remember, everyone has their own story and to them it is personal and means a lot even if it doesn't mean anything to the next person. You are no different. I love the support on here, the friendly word now and again. Chin up

Gap x

I am sorry to hear that you have to force yourself to be positive everyday, but Little Miss Gap is a special girl to be able to be your rock without even knowing it all because she is herself! Its wonderful you have that special relationship with your family, keep it safe.

Thank you, its so lovely to know that you all want to read my diary, I do worry. And I dont want to bring anyone down also. The support is very special on here! xx

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

Fantastic news!!! You sound much more optimistic today, which is great.


I had an Ebay blitz over the weekend and now have 13 items listed - unlucky for some so I may have to stick something else on too

Good luck with your ebay listings! Hope they do well! ebay blitz - it takes ages, but its so worth it. xx

Lost_and_nervous

Well I have some negative news as always, except for my ebay profits the other day. Got myself a coffee and feel i need to have a good rant before the OH comes home. He doesnt know I am on this forum. Doesnt agree with internet forums.

Well I have had enough of the badness which pulls me down, just spending an hour with my mother makes me realise that why should I always be made out to be horrible, useless and that I am the one who disappoints. Ok so I am not the outgoing socialising one but after being hurt for so many years and being let down I dont want to be in company all the time. I like my own company, I like being in the house with DD, I dont want to go stay away for days now, I like being at home. I like quiet time, I dont like going shopping for my own reasons being debt and sitting there in a pub or coffee shop staring at others really doesnt appeal to me. The woman is horrible, she talks to people like they are dirt on her shoe, she gets funny over the smallest of things and will always get nasty when she doesnt get her own way. On the other hand she is the most amazing nan ever. Cant take that away from her. She is brilliant. Its just me she has issues with. :mad::mad:

Enough of the rant, big gulp of coffee and relax!

So as I was staring at sky whilst listening to the rubbish which was spilling out of the nasty womans mouth, I thought ok its going to take me a while to build up my beautician business but hey I have other talents which dont involve spending money. Well not initially as I have that much stuff round this house which I could use but I am going to put my creative ways to use, I have books magazines so I am going to use them all and try to sell the creations. Hopefully. Something to do in the evening apart from ebaying. Its worth a try anyway. I am trying to think of as many happy things to fill my life with.

I am not in a happy place at the moment. At all.

pennywisepoundstupid

Oh hun sending hugs, i also have a mother exactly the same, luckily she lives far away and i hardly see her or speak to her.

Little_bit_dizzy

Oh dear, hope she doen't pull you too far down, you'd sounded far more positive the last couple of days. I can emapthise with your situation regarding your mother though.

My sister (3 years younger) is the one who can do no wrong despite some fairly major incidents. I'm the 'Black Sheep' and always made to feel like I never quite get it right. I spent lots of years trying to please her, now I know I can't so what the hell.


Don't let her bring you down, it's your life - live it the way you want

Hugs xx

Lost_and_nervous

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

Oh hun sending hugs, i also have a mother exactly the same, luckily she lives far away and i hardly see her or speak to her.

Thank you xx sorry to hear your mother is the same. Its true what they say 'you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family!' xx

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

Oh dear, hope she doen't pull you too far down, you'd sounded far more positive the last couple of days. I can emapthise with your situation regarding your mother though.

My sister (3 years younger) is the one who can do no wrong despite some fairly major incidents. I'm the 'Black Sheep' and always made to feel like I never quite get it right. I spent lots of years trying to please her, now I know I can't so what the hell.


Don't let her bring you down, it's your life - live it the way you want

Hugs xx

Thank you xx I am back being positive today, I am not going to let that witch get me down. Sorry to hear you have spent so many years trying to please her. Black sheep of the family - I feel like a black sheep in life!!! hehehe xx