Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

Wine going down well, looking forward to a more reasonable hour to have a glass (jobs still left to do!)

Listed 37 items on ebay! :j

Had a lightbulb moment and have had a look at local hairdressers and if they have in house beauticians, the ones who dont I am going to send a letter with a leaflet and see if I can get some work that way. Ok so I am going to pay on postage but its not too much and is cheaper than driving the car to each of them.

Also bit of a proud moment, I opened a letter which I knew was a debt owing, i thought it was going to be scary but I knew I needed to open it! So i did! and to my surprise it was a lot less than what i expected. Now just need to find the money :rotfl: if only!

Anyway off to clean the kitchen, the sooner I get it done the quicker I can get dinner over with and the glass of wine and ebaying out! xx

Lost_and_nervous

Why does it take me so long to do anything? Cleaning, cooking, getting ready, typing, ebaying... you name it it takes me ages!!! Why oh why oh why!!!

Lost_and_nervous

Even though we are meeting up with family today, I am going to have a positive day, lots of smiles, lots of thoughts and aims to start the week off fresh full of energy! OH is sitting right next to me as I have sneakily come on here, he thinks I am ebaying. I just needed to write this! Get it out of my head! Hope you all have a good day! x

girlatplay

Oh Lost, I am so pleased that you are sounding so much more positive now

It takes me ages to do stuff too. Even just phoning my mum to tell her 2 things ends up in a 20 minute conversation because once I am on the phone I remember a hundred other things I had to tell her I take ages to clean, I take ages to do the washing, I take ages to cook. The only thing I am reasonably quick at is typing because I trained as a secretary!

I like your lightbulb moment about checking the hairdressers :T Good idea. Remember though, some places might say no but don't let that knock your confidence, you need to keep trying. My colleague at work, Grinders (I call her that for the purposes of posting), has two degrees, one in politics and one in law. She has just finished her law degree and has now finished the diploma and she cannot get a traineeship anywhere. She has applied to hundreds of law firms both in Edinburgh and other areas in Scotland but there are so few places available that every reply is a knock back. I feel so sorry for her as she is lovely and very good at her work but it is just such a competitive industry at the moment It isn't going to be that bad for you, just remember to persevere!:)

Hope you have a good day today. Keep thinking positive and don't let other people drag you down. You have seemed so much better over the past few days, don't let anything spoil that. Remember, we are all here for support

Gap x

Lost_and_nervous

I am so angry, I have just got home from a day with a few lovely people, yes I did just say that but had the whole day hearing about how even though I work part time I dont do that much housework, how I am not motivated, how I need to loose weight, how I need to get organised, so I have come home feeling pretty down with myself, pretty worthless and useless and even more ashamed of my debt not knowing where to start again. what little confidence I had has been kicked out of me again and I dont like it. Hence why I dont like going out.

So plan of action - change! Put my all into everything but when OH moans that he doesnt spend that much time with me - tuff! He cant have it all, admittely I have got myself in this mess not only with the debt but also with the house and clutter but if he took a minute to actually listen to how I feel then maybe he would understand, maybe he wouldnt be so harsh on me. So ok what am I going to do - spend as little time with him and more time getting on top of everything. DD - she will continue to come first but he will have to step up to the mark even more when he is at home. He wants everything to be perfect then I will show him. I am so angry.

girlatplay

Me again! Hope I'm not being a pest

I wish you could see my house. It is a tip really. Yes I work full time but there really is no excuse for the state it is in. I am now trying to do it bit by bit. You should pop over to the flylady thread. They are quite motivating over there. I am working on it! :cool:

What the people today don't know is that you have already taken a step to sort yourself out. You are on here and you are working on it. It takes time to get things together, goodness knows I am only sorting myself out now and I have been trying for almost 9 years :eek: I finally think I have it now though and I am slowly working towards the person I want to be. I read a quote the other day, can't remember who said it and can't remember the exact quote but it was along the lines of 'all the decisions you have made in your life up to now have lead you to where you are now. To change yourself and/or your life you have to change the way you think.' I like that and I am going to remember it (or at least remember the message behind it!)

Just keep going and do one thing at a time. Baby steps

Gap x

Aria`s_Tail

Hi Sweetie.
Sorry i`ve been awol for a while, working loads and i`m shattered and a bit run down but thinking of the cash, it`s all being tucked away in a moving house fund at the moment, debt paying is on the back burner for a while.
Anyway (((((((HUGS)))))))). Don`t let others drag you down, family or not. They have no right to criticise and belittle you, rise above it all and believe in yourself.
I`m the same when it comes to the house. My OH thinks that as he works full time he should come home and sit on his butt all night and his days off are his leisure time. I`m working 7 days a week at the moment on split shifts yet i`m still expected to do all the housework and shopping, make sure he is fed and has clean clothes etc. He had a go the other day because I hadn`t baked any cakes for him to take into work last week! I`m very fussy and tidy at work but my house looks like a bomb has hit it at the moment. I have a huge pile of stuff to go on Ebay but lacking time and motivation at the moment. I think I will have to take a couple of days off next week to start sorting some of it out.
I know what you mean about where the time goes. When I get an couple of hours I have a list of about 20 things to do but normally end up doing 2-3.
Would it help to sit down with your other half to discuss a budget. You don`t have to bring your debts into it but you could say I earn X amount, and the regular bills are A, B and C amounts. Put it in writing so he can see things aren`t adding up. You need a bit of support from him on this!
Congrats on getting going on Ebay and good luck with Avon, keep up the good work and don`t forget to spend a bit of quality time on yourself. X

girlatplay

Aria has just described my house very well :eek: In fact, if we got broken into the burglar would probably just leave as he/she would think that we had already been burgled :rotfl:

xx

mummytogirls

Hi Lost, hope your feeling a bit brighter today .
Its so hard trying to keep on top of everything, you have a little one and people (who ever was whining at you) need to realise that.
IMO the dusting can wait, children dont stay little forever and you dont want to be stuck in flipping cleaning.

My top tips on keeping on top and not spending hours cleaning are just to do a job a morning, ie a bit of hoovering or polishing and you be surprised how much it helps. Also I put one wash load in a night to keep that at bay! Hope this helps x x x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Oh Lost, I am so pleased that you are sounding so much more positive now

It takes me ages to do stuff too. Even just phoning my mum to tell her 2 things ends up in a 20 minute conversation because once I am on the phone I remember a hundred other things I had to tell her I take ages to clean, I take ages to do the washing, I take ages to cook. The only thing I am reasonably quick at is typing because I trained as a secretary!

I like your lightbulb moment about checking the hairdressers :T Good idea. Remember though, some places might say no but don't let that knock your confidence, you need to keep trying. My colleague at work, Grinders (I call her that for the purposes of posting), has two degrees, one in politics and one in law. She has just finished her law degree and has now finished the diploma and she cannot get a traineeship anywhere. She has applied to hundreds of law firms both in Edinburgh and other areas in Scotland but there are so few places available that every reply is a knock back. I feel so sorry for her as she is lovely and very good at her work but it is just such a competitive industry at the moment It isn't going to be that bad for you, just remember to persevere!:)

Hope you have a good day today. Keep thinking positive and don't let other people drag you down. You have seemed so much better over the past few days, don't let anything spoil that. Remember, we are all here for support

Gap x

We need to work out a way of being quicker when we do things.... how do we do it? Ahh see you have an advantage over me - I am even slow at typing! :rotfl:

Poor grinders, thats really sad that she has put all that time and effort into studying and she isnt lucky enough to get a job in that profession. But we should all be grateful for the jobs we have and continue to better ourselves by applying in our chosen fields. There are so many people who dont have jobs or are facing redundancy. I hope it works out for her. I know its going to be hard for me, and the business is a competitive one but I will put my all into it.

You are all so great and thank you xx