Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Me again! Hope I'm not being a pest

I wish you could see my house. It is a tip really. Yes I work full time but there really is no excuse for the state it is in. I am now trying to do it bit by bit. You should pop over to the flylady thread. They are quite motivating over there. I am working on it! :cool:

What the people today don't know is that you have already taken a step to sort yourself out. You are on here and you are working on it. It takes time to get things together, goodness knows I am only sorting myself out now and I have been trying for almost 9 years :eek: I finally think I have it now though and I am slowly working towards the person I want to be. I read a quote the other day, can't remember who said it and can't remember the exact quote but it was along the lines of 'all the decisions you have made in your life up to now have lead you to where you are now. To change yourself and/or your life you have to change the way you think.' I like that and I am going to remember it (or at least remember the message behind it!)

Just keep going and do one thing at a time. Baby steps

Gap x

Your not a pest Gap, its so wonderful that you pop in!

We can all stick together where our houses are concerned and work on it! Ill have a look at the flylady thread! you will get there!

That quote is really inspiring and is so true! You are doing so well and I think that if we do it over time then the results are going to everlasting not a one minute wonder. We both need to do everything in baby steps!! xx

Lost_and_nervous

Aria`s_Tail wrote: »

Hi Sweetie.
Sorry i`ve been awol for a while, working loads and i`m shattered and a bit run down but thinking of the cash, it`s all being tucked away in a moving house fund at the moment, debt paying is on the back burner for a while.
Anyway (((((((HUGS)))))))). Don`t let others drag you down, family or not. They have no right to criticise and belittle you, rise above it all and believe in yourself.
I`m the same when it comes to the house. My OH thinks that as he works full time he should come home and sit on his butt all night and his days off are his leisure time. I`m working 7 days a week at the moment on split shifts yet i`m still expected to do all the housework and shopping, make sure he is fed and has clean clothes etc. He had a go the other day because I hadn`t baked any cakes for him to take into work last week! I`m very fussy and tidy at work but my house looks like a bomb has hit it at the moment. I have a huge pile of stuff to go on Ebay but lacking time and motivation at the moment. I think I will have to take a couple of days off next week to start sorting some of it out.
I know what you mean about where the time goes. When I get an couple of hours I have a list of about 20 things to do but normally end up doing 2-3.
Would it help to sit down with your other half to discuss a budget. You don`t have to bring your debts into it but you could say I earn X amount, and the regular bills are A, B and C amounts. Put it in writing so he can see things aren`t adding up. You need a bit of support from him on this!
Congrats on getting going on Ebay and good luck with Avon, keep up the good work and don`t forget to spend a bit of quality time on yourself. X

Its so good to see you, sorry to hear you have been working so hard and grrrrrrrr to OH :mad:! Its so inspiring that you are working so hard and putting so much into saving for your moving house fund but dont run yourself down too much, you dont want to make yourself ill and get to a point where you need to take time off for pure relaxation! Have regular cuppas!!

Thank you for your kind words, its easier said than done but after my initial feeling of feeling awful thank you to others, I am learning to pick myself up and think s*d them! Maybe we should stick all our OH's into a house together and let them stick it out together and see how hard and demanding it is and how hard it really is. I think you need some time to yourself and lock the door and have an ebaying session.

Thank you for your advice, I really need to i got myself in a state yesterday and I have said we need to sort out some money arrangements. So we have left it that I am going to write down all our bills etc and take it from there.

Thank you xx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Aria has just described my house very well :eek: In fact, if we got broken into the burglar would probably just leave as he/she would think that we had already been burgled :rotfl:

xx

Thats really made me chuckle! Its so true. xx

Lost_and_nervous

mummytogirls wrote: »

Hi Lost, hope your feeling a bit brighter today .
Its so hard trying to keep on top of everything, you have a little one and people (who ever was whining at you) need to realise that.
IMO the dusting can wait, children dont stay little forever and you dont want to be stuck in flipping cleaning.

My top tips on keeping on top and not spending hours cleaning are just to do a job a morning, ie a bit of hoovering or polishing and you be surprised how much it helps. Also I put one wash load in a night to keep that at bay! Hope this helps x x x

I need you to tell them that they dont understand! And you are so right, they dont stay little forever.

Thats a really good idea. I will try that, thats sounds more managable and at least I can say I have done something. thank you xx

Lost_and_nervous

At last - I have managed to catch up with you all! I have had a busy few days, had work monday and tuesday and DD hasnt been well this week so not getting to do much as she needs her mummy!

My house looks like an Avon warehouse with lots of brochures around, need to sort them out and get them out! I have asked a question over on the extra income board, I want to know about the additional order when it arrives, I know you have to pay £2.50 but just want to know how it works.

Ebay, sold a couple of items, just need to post them, work out earnings etc. And I have so much more to list, just havent found the time which is bad.

I have been looking on freecycle website, its really interesting and I am happy i have joined. I feel cheeky though asking for items, but if I can save money any where then thats the main thing. Put the money somewhere else - towards those debts.

OH hasnt picked on me yet this week :eek: shocking I know, but he still has time. Its such a shame that he spoils it with his picking, he can be so great but lets himself down. oooo its so annoying it winds me up thinking about it.

Received my letter from tax credits and we are slightly over not by much but enough for them to say no :mad: oh well it was worth a try.

I may have a chance to do some overtime at work on the days I work, there might be some available hours in the office so Ive put my name down for it. :j fingers crossed.

I am feeling positive today even though am not doing much at the moment while little one is poorly.

I hope you are all ok and thank you all for keeping me company. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Up nice and early-ish (well I am telling myself that as I am the first one up in the house), hope DD is feeling better today! Its rotten when little ones are ill, theres nothing you can really do! but OH is here today as working at weekend so think I may take advantage of him as much as i can, theres stuff I need to and he can pull his finger out!

Bagged up my Avon books yesterday ready, and typed up a note, just need to print and put them in the bags ready to deliver. I have made the decision that I will put my own leaflets in there too. I am doing the Avon so I feel it should be ok.

Started doing small jobs yesterday (thanks mummy) just as I am going along like washing up and wiping sides down (normally would make a song and dance out of it, big deal, loads of time, stop for a break) but I got on with it and I did it quickly and didnt get all the paraphanelia out to wipe the sides down (not just straight forward wipe) but I did it and it was so nice to come down to a happy kitchen!

Anyway enough of rambling! Have a good day everyone! xxx

girlatplay

What a lovely, positive post Lost That is a great idea of mummy's to do a job a morning. I usually manage a job an evening and I have just not long started that so will get there slowly. I also find that one wash an evening, as mummy says, also helps keep on top of it.

Hope DD is feeling better. I hate when Little Miss is ill. I wish I could take it out of her and bare the pain for her. She always looks so sad and lost when she is not well, makes me sad and worried

Good luck with the Avon. Hope your leaflets bring you business too. My friend is an Avon lady and she has to work very hard to make money but she does work hard and she does make money. Think positive thoughts

Gap x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

What a lovely, positive post Lost That is a great idea of mummy's to do a job a morning. I usually manage a job an evening and I have just not long started that so will get there slowly. I also find that one wash an evening, as mummy says, also helps keep on top of it.

Hope DD is feeling better. I hate when Little Miss is ill. I wish I could take it out of her and bare the pain for her. She always looks so sad and lost when she is not well, makes me sad and worried

Good luck with the Avon. Hope your leaflets bring you business too. My friend is an Avon lady and she has to work very hard to make money but she does work hard and she does make money. Think positive thoughts

Gap x

Thats really good that you also do a job an evening, we know its not going to be a quick process but at least we are doing it properly :rotfl: well thats the excuse I am now using on myself! :rotfl:

SHes alot better thank you, I feel the same as you. It is so hard isnt it.

Thank you, fingers crossed. Thats good your friend makes money and gives me inspiration! xxx

mummytogirls

Hi Lost il tell them for you!!! Silly people, what business is it of theirs anyway nosey gits!!!

Glad DD's a bit better, its so awful when they are ill you feel so sorry for them but sometimes need a break yourself too.

Im also glad doing a small job a day is helping you. Before I used to have to spend 2-3 hours on a Saturday morning doing the whole house. This way all I have to do at the weekend is the bathrooms and its much more manageable.

:mad: to the tax credits. At least you have explored all avenues re upping your income.

Have a good Sunday x x x

Lost_and_nervous

Well here we are, another week nearly over and what have I achieved..... not very much! But hey another week is approaching and I am determined to change, determined to achieve, determined to declutter and determined to clear the debt!

Off out to deliver the Avon today! :j a bit nervous but anyway must think of the money.

I will do my small job as well as the washing up (naughty naughty, it got all built up yesterday and left - smack my hand!) Ive already done 2 loads of washing!! And just sat down for 5 as DD gone for a nap and thought it was good time to catch up! Iced tea (well my version, couple of fruit tea bags boiled then left to cool down, and put in fridge over night! Alot cheaper and tasty!)

I cant stop thinking about how there are so many things I want to do yet I find it hard to find the motivation, I start with all good intentions yet I always seem to wander. thats the best way to explain it - wandering!

But onwards and upwards! Lets see what today brings!!!

xx