Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

girlatplay

We are ok thanks. Going to stay the night with Gap-Sis tomorrow night so looking forward to that

I am not vegetarian but I tend to follow a vege diet as I'm not that fussy for meat. I do like a good steak once in a while though On saying that, last night we had chilli and it was absolutely delicious! Mr G works nights so I don't normally cook for him except on Wednesdays and Saturdays (his nights off) so last night I made extra chilli so that I could bring it to work for lunch today. He text me to ask what we were having for tea and when I told him how lovely it was he asked me to keep some for him. There was only one portion left so I let him have it. None for me today Never mind. Things have been strained between us lately (I admit, more my fault than his) so I am trying to make up for being a grumpy cow and make him happy.

I'm sure little Lost will have fun at the play place. Totally worth the money if it makes her happy as I'm sure her being happy makes you happy too

xxx

Slowdown

Good day Lost
I haven't been on here for a long time. Where is the real LostandNervous? She must be hiding somewhere as the girl I see updating this thread is a bright, positive, challenging determined girl, quite different from the one I knew on page one. Or just maybe you have undergone a wonderful transformation? Yes I think so!
Its great to see you so much more on the up. What a smashing bunch of supporters you have on here and I take my hat off to all of them.
Keep it up Lost and I look forward to your further adventures
Congratulations on the new you
Slowdown:)

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

We are ok thanks. Going to stay the night with Gap-Sis tomorrow night so looking forward to that

I am not vegetarian but I tend to follow a vege diet as I'm not that fussy for meat. I do like a good steak once in a while though On saying that, last night we had chilli and it was absolutely delicious! Mr G works nights so I don't normally cook for him except on Wednesdays and Saturdays (his nights off) so last night I made extra chilli so that I could bring it to work for lunch today. He text me to ask what we were having for tea and when I told him how lovely it was he asked me to keep some for him. There was only one portion left so I let him have it. None for me today Never mind. Things have been strained between us lately (I admit, more my fault than his) so I am trying to make up for being a grumpy cow and make him happy.

I'm sure little Lost will have fun at the play place. Totally worth the money if it makes her happy as I'm sure her being happy makes you happy too

xxx

Hope you have a lovely time with Gap sis! How lovely to have a night away. Very relaxing!

Meat is very expensive, and you appreciate it more when you dont have it all the time. Your Chilli has got me thinking of making one. Sorry to hear things are strained between you both, I am sure it will all be ok and work itself out. Relationships - the most difficult thing to tackle at times.

It is, she really does enjoy it so its part of my budget now. She does make me happy.

Hope your ok xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Slowdown wrote: »

Good day Lost
I haven't been on here for a long time. Where is the real LostandNervous? She must be hiding somewhere as the girl I see updating this thread is a bright, positive, challenging determined girl, quite different from the one I knew on page one. Or just maybe you have undergone a wonderful transformation? Yes I think so!
Its great to see you so much more on the up. What a smashing bunch of supporters you have on here and I take my hat off to all of them.
Keep it up Lost and I look forward to your further adventures
Congratulations on the new you
Slowdown:)

Its so good to see you, the real Lost and Nervous is still here, I am just working on things. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my diary and say such lovely things. You are all wonderful, and I wouldnt have been able to get to where I am without my mse friends.

Hope you are ok xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Need to write down the amounts I have made/found:

- 5.87
- £30
- £35
- £35
- £90
- £40 total to now £235.87

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with everything I have been trying to do which has been effecting my work (:eek:) and my mental state (:(), I have been trying so hard to do so many things but actually I havent got as far as what I had hoped and have found myself going round in circles.

I had a new light bulb moment last night, why rush around the house trying to declutter, list on ebay as well as packaging everything up, trying to clean, carry on as normal, its all been far too much for me so during my light bulb moment I have decided to:

Concentrate on a room a month! Thats it, do the normal things round the house but when it comes to listing on ebay, decluttering, re organising, cleaning, do one room at a time. I am going to start with our bedroom as I think it has the potential for the most decluttering. I am going to devote the whole of February to the bedroom. If I finish it before the end of the month i will move on to the next one if I dont I will carry it over to the next month.

I have listed 34 items on ebay and sent 3 today. I am waiting for a free listing weekend again. I am feeling positive about it I need to be.

I have spent a bit which I am not happy about but all things apart from a few £ which is justified. I suppose.

Well I have got to go as OH is due in any minute now.

Thank you all for being here for me. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

- 5.87
- £30
- £35
- £35
- £90
- £40 total to now £235.87
- £15
- £40 total to now £290.87

I am feeling so down and stressed at the moment, I am so fed up and some days feel like I hate my life. I never seem to get anywhere and just struggle along on my own. I am classed as 'miserable and over reacting' with everything, but if only he knew how miserable I am. I deal with everything myself. Its one of his families birthdays this weekend, and I am not spending a penny of my money. I am trying to pay things off.

I havent been able to get a part time evening job as he changed his shifts. Its all very well him changing but hes going to have to give me some money as I was going to work in the evenings for more money and he is now preventing me from doing that. I hate having to ask him for money.

I have been snapping at DD, I just cant seem to control my emotions at the moment. shes so innocent and so lovely but she whinges and I just cant cope. I dont actually get anytime for me, anytime to do things and its starting to ware me down. I am so lonely.

Ebay is going ok but I really need a free listing weekend, I have so many things I dont want to give away for 99p. I have slowed down the last couple of days but am hoping to get back to my motivated self.

xx

Lost_and_nervous

What is my problem, why do I let myself get into these states, I am so angry with myself. I have just been looking through the forum and for some reason my mind has clicked and I am feeling a sense of 'sort yourself out Lost'!

I need to stop getting myself into these states I really do. I am not going to achieve anything like this. So why do I keep doing it?

I didnt even focus on any positives in the last post, I need to sort this out.

girlatplay

I'll give you some positives from your second last post :

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

- 5.87
- £30
- £35
- £35
- £90
- £40 total to now £235.87
- £15
- £40 total to now £290.87

Would you have managed or even thought of this before you started this diary? Progress!


I deal with everything myself. This shows just how strong you are. Its one of his families birthdays this weekend, and I am not spending a penny of my money. Determination. I am trying to pay things off. More determination

I have so many things I dont want to give away for 99p. Good for you! You know you can get more for them so you are not just giving them away. Sense!

I know you have OH but he doesn't sound very hands on and it is hard to bring up a child "on your own". Is there anyone you could leave little lost with like once a week or something just for a couple of hours? When my friend's youngest was little she used to put him into a creche for an hour while she went for a swim. It just gave her time to be herself once a week. She is married with 3 children and has a good marriage and family life but she felt like she was losing herself in being a wife and a mum all the time. I know it costs money but it would give you a little sanity back. Obviously you don't have to swim!! :rotfl:

xxx

bobble_hat

Hi Lost and nervous,

I've just skim-read your entire diary so far. You have inspired me, I love your idea of sorting one room at a time, I keep doing bits from each room and getting nowhere so I am going to try this.

You are doing so well, when I read your latest posts after reading your first I can see you have come such a long way.

You have really got the hang of this MSE life :T

It is hard work, but you just keep plugging away at it, even on your low days you seem to still be thinking about other things you can be doing.

I don't know if you've read back over your own diary, it may be a good idea, to remind yourself where you are now from where you were.

You're awesome, just keep going, you're doing brilliantly :T

ebayqueen_2

Hiya Lost

Have just caught up on your diary. How are you feeling today?