Friend's partner is moving his ex in

podperson

I don't think the ex part is really that relevant - if I went home tonight and OH said to me, 'a friend of mine that I haven't seen for years and that you haven't even met showed up on the doorstep today, he's a recovering alcoholic who's been kicked out of his house so I said he could stay with us because he doesn't want to go to a hostel, even though he's been offered a place at one, and he feels that he would be imposing on family if he asked to stay with them' - I would be absolutely furious about it, and I don't have a young baby to consider!

bargainbetty

If the woman hasn't move in yet, then I would suggest your friend tells her OH politely but firmly that unless and until his ex has remained dry for a month or more, she is not coming into their home.

She has the offer of accommodation that will keep her on the housing lists (she will not be classed as homeless if they let her in), it may affect their benefits having a third adult in the house and it is simply not fair to assume that someone is welcome in your home without asking the other residents. When I had a lodger I would always check before inviting a friend over for one night, because it was his home too, and he had a right to say how he felt about visitors.

Sorry to be harsh, I have friends who have suffered homelessness and I don't make light of it, but this is not a solution that your friend needs to be responsible for.

If she is there, then she needs to be told to leave immediately. She can go to the council and ask for emergency accommodation, and she takes her bags with her. No reason to come back.

I wish your friend luck.