How much drink???

djdido2

He lies as he thinks it is one pint after work when it is really three to four pints but he is denial because he does not count the mad session at the weekend. HE IS CONVINCED HE JUST LIKES A FEW PINTS, I DISAGREE AND THINK HE IS DEPENDENT. HE WILL DENY THIS TILL HE IS BLUE IN THE FACE!!

RedBern

if your husband is drinking 3-4 pints a night then that should take about 9 hours to clear his system. His longer drinking session on Sunday of 10 pints will take about 23 hours to get out of his system - so if he drove yesterday he was probably over the limit.

This drinks calculator is interesting:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/12254668

3 - 4 pints costs about £12.50 so 10 pints is about £30 ...

julliff

Hi djdido2

Just wanted to send hugs to you. :grouphug:

It all sounds so, so familiar, and I would be very surprised if he ever changes. Ask yourself how you see your life with this person in 10 or 20 years?

I had a very similar experience (except my x did not drive), and it took me too many years to realise what my life had become. I hope I am wrong, and you can work something out.

Take care

julliff

ailuro2

This sounds just like someone I lived with when I was younger, after going through all the denials, the OK I'll cut down to the "just drink at the weekends" I left because the guy loved to drink more than he loved me.

He wasn't a bad guy, just loved his drink and could not see he was well on the road to alcoholism.

Sadly a few years ago I bumped into someone I know who knows the bloke, of course when asked how he was doing it turned out he was full blown alcoholic, had been in the local NHS residential treatment unit etc. and was still making poor life choices.

His excuses was ALWAYS he got up to go to his work no problem, therefore he didn't have a drink problem.

I'm so glad I left when I did, I'd never have met my lovely hubby if I hadn't.

Take a long hard look at what you want for your kids - my ex had seen his father drink every weekend to the point of falling down and regarded it as normal, as something all normal people did. If you don't want your kids growing up thinking a Dad who is in the pub every night is normal maybe you need to start putting a little by, just for a rainy day, where no-one else knows it's there. It never hurts to be prepared.

Good Luck.

MrsE_2

euronorris wrote: »

How can he be working every hour god sends and yet things are quiet? His logic is very flawed ?

Not so, cab drivers can spend a lot of time sittting in their car hanging around waiting for the next fare. That is still working - because it's not like sitting at home with your feet up, it's very tiring hanging about between jobs.

leandygandy

I think that when you read your posts back you'll realise that you are already coping on your own - this man doesn't help pay towards any of your bills or look after your children. At present you're living on one wage as it is ; you've done it before and can do it again. Can you save some money to see you through your maternity leave?

He has it sweet. He doesn't take responsibility around the house, he doesn't take responsibility for childcare, he doesn't take responsibility for bills. Now think, what DOES he do? He spends all his spare time in the pub.

Read your posts back as if it were somebody else posting and think about what you'd say to them...

I'm not saying kick him out - but if you're going to let him stay in your life he needs to make some pretty big changes and soon.

Big hugs xx

tanith

I hate to say this but he's not going to change , has he not told you so over and over? He is an alcoholic and always will be, you have to decide if you want to live your life bringing up your children by yourself and making excuses for him. I decided I didn't want to and left after 20yrs married it was the best thing I could ever of done..

lor6126

wouldnt usually post on a thread like this, but i was married to a taxi driver, heavy drinker, smoker, hid all debts etc. found out taxi was getting repossessed the morning they came to pick it up. he hadnt paid finance for months. The night before he had sat drinking cans of beer knowing this was happening and said nothing. We lost the house, had to rent, and ultimately i left him a year later. i have my own little house now and he is in b and b accomodation having been evicted twice and lost job driving for other taxi drivers through drinking. he also went bankrupt as owed taxman thousands, has your husband paid all these things? i had a terrible job separating our finances when this happened. I will be thinking about you. x

property.advert

He is an alcoholic but doesn't see it. He is spending all his money down the pub. He has nothing "put by". His lifestyle is that of a big baby, like a young man with no responsibilities. His attitude stinks.

To be honest, you are in many ways better off without him. If the useless lump won't change, you'll have no option but to show him the door.

If I knew where he was on a Monday, I'd shop him for drink driving, tell the taxi licensing people and utterly destroy his life before he destroys someone else's through drink driving.

*Louise*

Can you list some of his good points for us? I'm trying to work out what he actually brings to your life

You might as well be single for all he seems to do for you. What sort of man goes to the pub every night instead of going home to spend time with his chldren and pregnant wife?

Do you all his cooking/washing etc? For starters I would be saying that his tea would be on the table half an hour after his shift finished (allowing extra for distance, whatever) but if he went to the pub it would be in the bin.

I would also ask what sort of 'treats' you deserve since you have all the chidcare, housework etc etc.

My hubby wouldn't last very long if he tried that sort of caper, I'm afraid.

The drink issue needs to be tackled, but until he admits it himself, you're not going to be able to convince him. Is there someone else who could perhaps speak to him on your behalf? Someone he might actually listen to.