How much drink???

bkca1230

my husband is a taxi driver and i think the rules are that you not allowed alcohol for 48hours. so obviously if he is drinking everyday then that is wrong and i wouldnt want him driving my children or family around.

djdido2

He would not drive the children around, works 7 days a week all hours and is never ever at home. I have to text him to challenge him, pathetic I know but he is never ever around these days. He has always liked a drink yes but its getting to me now because I feel like I am doing everything. I work full time and pay all the bills and buy all the food. He contributes by giving my daughter money for school and buys take aways all the time to save me cooking. (So embarrasing to admit that) He claims he has money aside for all the big jobs that need doing in the house ie new bathroom, kitchen and loft conversion but I will beleive it when I see it.

I am challenging him by text and he has basically said he can do what he wants as he is old enough to!!! We never do things as a family. Its me that takes the kids places when I feel up to it these days asI am perma exhausted in the early stages of pregnancy.

This is going from bad to worse isn't it???

flutterby_lil

DJDido, you poor thing, how old are the children? I have a dream of a fella compared to yours and I still winge at him lol!! How long have you been together, and have you noticed a decline in him being around since you got pregnant? Are all your children his, just with you saying he "gives my daughter money". Get yourself a bath and an hours peace tonight when the kids have gone to bed. I work full time (so does my fella) and we have a 2 year old and I too am exhausted. I do all the shopping, cooking etc but he works long hours, self employed. He tries his best at home, washed up when I have cooked etc and does his fair share of picking the little un up from nursery or taking him when he has time. I don't know how you cope, sending lots of (((((((HUGS)))))))

HappyMJ

djdido2 wrote: »

He would not drive the children around, works 7 days a week all hours and is never ever at home.

I don't think your children was meant. I [STRIKE]think[/STRIKE] actually I'm quite sure that on a Monday morning after a session of 10-15 pints on Sunday he will still be over the limit when he'll be driving children to school.

If he's always drank then there isn't much you can do to stop it. 3-4 pints a day isn't too bad. It's the big Sunday session I'd be worried about. Could you get him to do something family orientated on that day to get him away from his mates down the boozer?

djdido2

flutterby_lil wrote: »

DJDido, you poor thing, how old are the children? I have a dream of a fella compared to yours and I still winge at him lol!! How long have you been together, and have you noticed a decline in him being around since you got pregnant? Are all your children his, just with you saying he "gives my daughter money". Get yourself a bath and an hours peace tonight when the kids have gone to bed. I work full time (so does my fella) and we have a 2 year old and I too am exhausted. I do all the shopping, cooking etc but he works long hours, self employed. He tries his best at home, washed up when I have cooked etc and does his fair share of picking the little un up from nursery or taking him when he has time. I don't know how you cope, sending lots of (((((((HUGS)))))))

Kids are 14 and 7. We recently got back together after being together on and off for around thirteen years (really long story but basically he was not a good dad to his 7 year old son, daughter not his but she treats him like he is). Pregnancy is unplanned so I am still in shock a little bit as I have been stupid enough to think he will change. He thinks of himself all the time and everyone else is second best. Sick of it, Starting to think I would cope better without him

jungle_jane

It doesn't sound like he wants to engage with you guys as a family - do you think he goes to the pub to avoid being at home? Do you have much fun together? Get on well still? Go out as a family unit? It sounds like your OH is a master genius at doing what he wants to suit him and sounds like quite a selfish partner to have.

It seems as though there are a few issues in the relationship - his drinking being one of them. You must be exhausted and fed up - it doesn't sound like you get to have much rest or much fun and your kids aren't getting much in the line of good fathering.

Sounds like you need some help from a professional - the Al-anon sounds like a good suggestion. Even some decent counselling might be useful to help you figure out what your own needs are and how to go about getting these met.

jinky67

Sounds to me like an alcohol and childish man problem, one who doesnt want to take adult responsibilities

djdido2

HappyMJ wrote: »

I don't think your children was meant. I [STRIKE]think[/STRIKE] actually I'm quite sure that on a Monday morning after a session of 10-15 pints on Sunday he will still be over the limit when he'll be driving children to school.

If he's always drank then there isn't much you can do to stop it. 3-4 pints a day isn't too bad. It's the big Sunday session I'd be worried about. Could you get him to do something family orientated on that day to get him away from his mates down the boozer?

Yes have just re read that now I understand. Thought you meant him taking my kids to school but he has never ever done that in his life. He is of the old school type where he thinks this is a woman's job. I think he is hiding something (ie he owes money out or something) because he works all hours god sends. He tells me nothing. Hell knows i am questioning now why I am attracted to the guy as I am his total opposite. He has nothing to offer and yet I still want him in our lives. Don't even know why anymore!!!

Queen_Of_The_Jungle

I read this thread and didn't want to get involved as I couldn't really give you much advice.
Just wanted to ask why you are still with him!! Love is blind I suppose.

euronorris

djdido2 wrote: »

Kids are 14 and 7. We recently got back together after being together on and off for around thirteen years (really long story but basically he was not a good dad to his 7 year old son, daughter not his but she treats him like he is). Pregnancy is unplanned so I am still in shock a little bit as I have been stupid enough to think he will change. He thinks of himself all the time and everyone else is second best. Sick of it, Starting to think I would cope better without him

Sweetie, do you have any close friends or family you call on? I really think you need someone close to talk to and comfort you a little. I know it can feel embarassing to admit to such problems, but you have nothing to feel ashamed of, he does.

So, call up a friend or family member, and go round to theirs, or have them come to you, and discuss things with them. Work out what you want, and then set out to achieve it. Whether that is with or without your OH.

xx