At what age should children do mothers day?

Nicki

Zoetoes wrote: »

Isn't it normal for the dad to take the kids to pick something when they're little rather than the kid be expected to go the shops themselves?

But isn't this the crux of the matter and what my original post was all about? At what age is it reasonable to expect the child to do something (anything) for themselves rather than relying on dad to sort it all out?

I had thought this year, with substantial pocket money of his own, ability to go out to local shops unaccompanied and about to start secondary school, that DS had reached that age. How old are your kids, if you have them, and at what age did they/do you expect them to do this kind of thing themselves?

starry_eyed_4

I still don't get why your husband didn't have this talk with him either last week or in the bookshop.
Surely it would have been easier for him to have suggested to your son that you may be hurt by him not putting any effort in to it.

My kids would never have motivated themselves at that age to get presents sorted out had their dad not guided them in exactly the same way I guided them on Fathers day and family birthdays.


Over the years my kids have bought me DVDs I already have, books I have read, perfume I hate and some of the most god awful jewellery I have ever seen. I would never have mentioned it to them, I just smiled and said thanks.
They have had to be asked to make me coffee on Mothers day and today if I had waited for breakfast in bed then I would still have been under the duvet at 2pm :rotfl:

I would just mark it down to experience and next year ask your husband to involve him helping making the day special for you.

LindseyandMatthew

All I will say is I hope your ds never reads this as you are being really unfair. Earlier you said that you OH can do no right by some posters but you are saying the same about your ds, poor child

Nicki

Zoetoes wrote: »

Now I'm wondering if I baby my little lad a bit as he hasn't been allowed the shop alone yet :eek:

My DS starts secondary school in September and it is the norm in London for children to travel to secondary school unaccompanied even if this means going into Central London on the tube. Our nearest shops are about 100 yards from the front door with no roads to cross and he has been going to them alone since he was 9, as do most of our friends children of similar ages. City kids get street smarted early!

tiff

Nicki wrote: »

But isn't this the crux of the matter and what my original post was all about? At what age is it reasonable to expect the child to do something (anything) for themselves rather than relying on dad to sort it all out?

I had thought this year, with substantial pocket money of his own, ability to go out to local shops unaccompanied and about to start secondary school, that DS had reached that age. How old are your kids, if you have them, and at what age did they/do you expect them to do this kind of thing themselves?

The whole point is you should never expect it.

BitterAndTwisted

If you pay close attention I said: "That was back in the days before a "Mother's Day" card had ever been printed" (referring to the commercialisation of Mother's Day).

Fang wrote: »

Long time then, you must be the oldest woman in the world by centuries! My grandmother has a collection of cards with dried flowers that she made for her mother. I didn't realise you were quite so ancient.

Your inattention has rather proven my case for me, I think, and I thank you for that.

I sometimes get the impression that you enjoy being contrary just for the sake of it and I suspect it's something to do with male competitiveness, to put it charitably.

I think you have been very unfair to the OP and appear to have tried to misconstrue everything she's posted about what has happened and that's really very unkind of you.

snowmaid

My boy was going to take a bus into town yesterday, determined to get me something for Mother's Day (hubby told me). So my husband went in with him and the 2 of them shopped together. He got me a very simple gift, incense burner and a card. Hubby got me a little basket of flowers. The fact that my son went and got something, took time off from the XBox and went in, makes it the best Mother's Day pressie.

I really think it's up to the parents to instill the importance of remembering someone special on a days like this. And it doesn't have to involve money. My sister's hubby and her 2 kids built her a little wishing well for her garden.

Hubby and I have always insisted that the kids take time off to remember birthdays, Mother's/Father's day etc.

Yes, kids are self centered, but it's up to us to ensure that they learn how to care about others.

Zoetoes

Nicki wrote: »

But isn't this the crux of the matter and what my original post was all about? At what age is it reasonable to expect the child to do something (anything) for themselves rather than relying on dad to sort it all out?

I had thought this year, with substantial pocket money of his own, ability to go out to local shops unaccompanied and about to start secondary school, that DS had reached that age. How old are your kids, if you have them, and at what age did they/do you expect them to do this kind of thing themselves?

I have 2 boys 10 and 17, the older one is obviously old enough to do things himself and last year, for example, he took the little one to get something for me. This year my ex took the little one to pick up my present, it was one present off both kids as it was a bit dearer than usual but ex knew I wanted it (oldest hasn't really got any money at the moment as he is waiting for ema to be processed so ex paid).

Although on the other side of it, one year (while I was still with the now ex) it didn't look like he was going to sort anything out for Mother's Day so I bought a little bottle of cheap perfume myself and told him to pretend to the kids he'd got it (can't remember how old the kids were at the time), I found that hurtful but I still was grateful to the kids for what they thought was off them.

Can't believe the ex was such a !!!!!! to still give me it actually!!

Nicki

LindseyandMatthew wrote: »

All I will say is I hope your ds never reads this as you are being really unfair. Earlier you said that you OH can do no right by some posters but you are saying the same about your ds, poor child

I am testing how I feel about the situation by asking other people's opinions. I'm not having the conversation with my DS or asking him to read the thread. Others have said they do or would feel hurt in the same situation, so I don't think the reaction itself is unfair. Whether I do anything about how I feel is a different question. At the moment I haven't and I thanked all 3 children for the gift when it was given, just felt a bit annoyed at lunch when DS started to go on about how brilliant he was for choosing the book, when I knew his dad had done all the priming and paying for it.

Does it make me a horrid person to discuss what happened anonymously and canvas views to get a perspective, even if DS knows nothing about this and never will? Can some things just not be discussed?

rev229

I think at any age any child should show some thought towards their parents and others. Thats why when in childcare/school they make cards for special occassions. Its not about the buying, it the act of kindness. A cup of tea, offer of help goes along way!!!! DD12 who has a mental age of a 3/4yr old knows to be nice and kind to others and managed to make a very simple card. My DH bought me some gifts as he appreciated the things I do as a mum.