At what age should children do mothers day?

Zoetoes

Nicki wrote: »

My DS starts secondary school in September and it is the norm in London for children to travel to secondary school unaccompanied even if this means going into Central London on the tube. Our nearest shops are about 100 yards from the front door with no roads to cross and he has been going to them alone since he was 9, as do most of our friends children of similar ages. City kids get street smarted early!

Well I will have to start letting him before high school I know as he will be travelling to high school on the bus.

There's a shop just down the bottom of our road and he's asked a few times if he can go but I still say not just yet but it won't be long before I have to let him go. He's a bright kid, it's not that I don't trust him, I don't trust others.

Nicki

Zoetoes wrote: »

I have 2 boys 10 and 17, the older one is obviously old enough to do things himself and last year, for example, he took the little one to get something for me. This year my ex took the little one to pick up my present, it was one present off both kids as it was a bit dearer than usual but ex knew I wanted it (oldest hasn't really got any money at the moment as he is waiting for ema to be processed so ex

So how old was the 17 year old the first time he made you breakfast in bed on Mothers Day or made you a card for example without relying on your ex to do it for him. Obviously at age 16 he was already taking responsibility for both himself and his little brother so was he much older than my DS when he first did something off his own steam?

Zoetoes

Nicki wrote: »

So how old was the 17 year old the first time he made you breakfast in bed on Mothers Day or made you a card for example without relying on your ex to do it for him. Obviously at age 16 he was already taking responsibility for both himself and his little brother so was he much older than my DS when he first did something off his own steam?

I can't remember for special occasions, but I remember things like he would leave little notes or pictures for when I got home from work late and he was in bed. The little one does things like that now.

And they both say they love me all the time, even the older one like when he's going out or hanging up the phone. But boys aren't that good at the occasions things I don't think. Especially when it comes to parting with their own money!

mountainofdebt

tbh I really do think this is a female/male thing...I remember Junior getting me a birthday card that was great until you read the verse and realised it was supposed be from my son and my non-existant DIL.

As far as the OP is concerned I can understand to a certain extent why she would be miffed but I don't think that this is a conversation for her to have with her son.....I think its one of those conversations a dad should have with his son pointing why us girlies get so het up about birthdays / valentine days / christmas /mother's days.

Viper_7

It should be done everyday, and not just because it is expected on a particular day which just to me waters down the sentiment - just like Valentines day for example.

pigpen

DD1 just brought me giant chocolate buttons..

4 out of 9 isn't bad... though I am still miffed with OH for not even getting a card from the baby..

I shall remind the 3 who didn't even say happy mothers day later in the week.. ggrrr

They all know mothers day is important to me because it is the only time of year I get anything (or don't ) because my birthday is boxing day it is all bundled with christmas and my birthday is lost. so I am a bit pathetic about it.

sjc3

I dont think you are being unreasonable. My daughter is 8 and made me a card and helped her daddy make me breakfast in bed.
Its not all about gifts but being thoughtfull and appreciative of you.

I can understand you feeling upset with your ds. It wouldn't have taken much effort from him to make your day really special would it, but he didn't. Then he wanted bigging up, you've got a right cheeky monkey there haven't you

Derivative

I wouldn't worry.
Hallmark might be a bit miffed that he didn't spend pocket money on a card.

I'd be more concerned about what happens year round than on an arbitrary day.

Derivative

sparrer wrote: »

The excuse from one is 'I'm broke' and from the other 'I'll see you when you come over tomorrow' They haven't got a clue how much it hurts, I can only assume I was a carp mother.

I hope your son, OP, grows up to be more thoughtful, and learns to show extra appreciation on 'special' days.

I don't understand this mindset. The day means nothing. A birthday I can see, but Mother's Day is a completely random day invented by Christians at some point that's now been twisted by marketing gurus into an excuse to sell 10p chocolates for £10.

I'd assume they have the same mindset as me. I'd rather me and my friends/family had a good laugh all year round and not worry about remembering all the random "days".

milliebear00001

I don't want to sound like I'm having a go, but...have you taught him to think about others? Your intial post makes it sound like he expected his dad to do it (because he always has before). This is fairly typical of children who have always had their parents do their thinking for them.

You can't expect him to think about doing something nice for you, uinless he has been taught to think about others before himself, and to have responsibility for those actions himself - for example, saying thank you without having to be reminded, allowing a guest to go first/have first pick/choose the game etc, without feeling hard done by.

I teach a class of ten year olds, and we just made Mothers' Day cards with 'chores' in them that the children would 'gift' their mum. Several were unhappy about having to commit themselves to doing those chores - I found that quite depressing and we had a long talk about what thinking of others actually entails.