At what age should children do mothers day?

Dippypud

It's not the fact it's Mothers day...

It's Mothering Sunday !!!!!!...

It is a Christian festival that fall on the 4th Sunday in Lent.

As such it's to celebrate the Virgin Mary and the "mother church".

In America and Canada it's celebrated on the second Sunday in May.

sjc3

GlasweJen wrote: »

There are 6 home made cards on our mantelpiece (5 from us kids and 1 from the grand kids). There are flowers, chocolates, vouchers for mums favourite shop, a teddy and a home made cake all here for mum. Tonight the whole family (5 of us plus mum and dad no grand kids or partners) went for dinner at mums favourite restaurant to spend time with mum.

As a family we don't have much money so it's unrealistic to think we could do this for mum on a random day during the year, we save up and arrange a gift for mothers day so that we all know what we need and how we can afford it. We do the same for fathers day even though dads birthday and fathers day are only days apart and sometimes on the same day.

We've always done this, always supported by the other parent until we were about 14ish, over the years we've bought frames for special photos, books mum wants, clothes, household things (always ones mum has expressed an interest in but wouldn't be able to afford herself) etc.

It's not about hallmark, commercialisation or anything else, it's about showing mum that we appreciate her as a mother and we spend the day making her feel special as she has spent almost 30 years raising us and a few flowers and a nice meal once a year is hardly any real effort.

If I was the OP I would feel disappointed too.

That is such a beautiful post and highlights to me how "Mothers Day" should be and what it is all about. Thank you for sharing that with us

looby75

Dippypud wrote: »

It's not the fact it's Mothers day...

It's Mothering Sunday !!!!!!...

It is a Christian festival that fall on the 4th Sunday in Lent.

As such it's to celebrate the Virgin Mary and the "mother church".

In America and Canada it's celebrated on the second Sunday in May.

traditionally It's the day that people "in service" got off and were allowed to go home to see their families and especially their mums. They would often be given a gift to take home from their employers as part of their wages.

Mupette

DS kinda remembered but i had to tell him to buy me a card and maybe a lil pressie (he is 16)

i told him and OH that it was a day where i didn't want to cook, clean etc, but also didn't want it left for me stacked up for monday,

I must admit it's not often i do cook but that is down to how i am feeling with M.S. on the day..

but yesterday i wanted to be allowed to do what i wanted ..

I wanted to go to the usuall greasy spoon, OH wittered for so long we missed it, so there i am in Sainsbury's cafe. but OH cooked a lovely meal, if left to DS i'll be still waiting..

But i did get a lovely card, could be something with DS on saturday writing on his facebook that he was on his way to town, so i wrote don't forget my Mothers Day card.

he also via amazon!! 2 boxes of those belguim seashell choclates.... (i hate them) so with a big smile i thanked him for his gifts and card.. first time he has done this, with a bit of nagging.. but used his own money.

But i will keep the card forever

bestpud

I haven't read all the replies so sorry if someone has already suggested this, but maybe you can use fathers day and any birthdays this year to teach your son how it's the thought that counts?

Hopefully the message will have sunk in by mothers day next year.

Personally, I think your OH has been an !!!!! and should have discussed this with your son.

Next family birthday, or fathers day, get him thinking in advance about the person and what they like. Then get him to think of ways he can show he cares. Support him with making a card.

I'm assuming you have craft type materials at home so he just needs to learn how to plan in time and think about the sort of card he will make, and what he will say in it?

That's what I'd do anyway. These things are easier when they are young, as schools/clubs usually do something with the children.

My dd(9) is home educated now so my mum helped her decorate a box and she put a couple of small gifts inside it. She also made a flower arrangement at brownies. I have never expected any more than the cards they make at school/brownies and a bit of thought - cup of tea in bed is perfect for me! Once that stops, they need some
encouragement initially, I think.

Both dds came with us to visit their grandmothers as we don't see my mil very often and my eldest doesn't see my mum as often as the littlie does. They didn't buy anything for them but their presence and a hug is just as appreciated.

I know how you feel as I've been there one year - it really does hurt, however much you tell yourself it doesn't matter as it's just one day and you know they love you, dah de dah.

Gently does it though. I realised we'd not done enough to prompt them through that phase where they need to start thinking about special days from scratch iykwim?

stelly

My DS is 9 and he made an effort for me yesterday.

I was woken up with a cuppa and toast and the best homemade card ever.
Inside was a huge love heart with the words "I love you this much". Brought a tear to my eye.

As OH was working later that afternoon DS helped me make dinner.

This was all done without any help (apart from the cuppa) from OH and everything was DS's own ideas.

So no I don't think 11 is too young to be showing a little appreciation to mum but I do know I'm very lucky with my DS.

Though we do occassionly get the question "why isn't there a kids day?" :rotfl::rotfl:

Mojisola

stelly wrote: »

Though we do occassionly get the question "why isn't there a kids day?" :rotfl::rotfl:

Because every day is kids day when he gets his shopping done, meals cooked, washing done, told you love him, etc, etc, :rotfl:

gingin_2

My 11 year old DS did zilch as well, not through malice but just because he doesn't think. I see it as partly my fault because we do far too much for him, so that he doesn't really need to think. It's just always been done for him, including buying presents and making cards. I had a brother who was exactly the same, so it is of no surprise to me but yesterday gave me a little shake up and made me realise things need to change.

His 7 year old sister was gorgeous, she had written in her diary that she wanted to make me happy all day and gave me 3 home made cards, her tooth! ( that fell out last week and she wrote a special note to the tooth fairy to ask if she could keep it ) and some bubble bath she was given for her birthday. Her dad bought me some chocs and a pink poodle soap dispenser .

DD and I went girly shopping and for coffee and cake and then I watched 3 episodes of Glee with DS whilst OH worked from home.

Gigglepig

I think children, and boys in particular, learn showing kindness to and appreciation for their mums from their dads.

For forgetful families it may help to make an annual "special days" wall calendar with the kids, to show family birthdays, etc...?

the_cat

Nicki wrote: »

I think you have a good point there milliebear. He is quite polite and does do the thank you, sharing, taking turns things quite well, but he is not good at helping round the house, and he never seems to think about how what he says or does might impact on others. We do try to remind him about this but it is his blind spot. This is one of the reasons I had thought about discussing today with him, so he understands how he came across. Though I'm now having second thoughts about whether I should do so, based on some of the more recent posts. It is sometimes hard to know how to parent to bring them up as thoughtful adults.

Both of my DS's were a bit like that too! Actually they only changed after one memorable Mothers Day when they had made zero effort (they were early-mid teens at this stage)I was at a bit of a low ebb generally and it really got to me. Rather than my usual quiet disappointment, I burst into tears:o

They were both absolutely mortified. Because I had never made a big deal out of it, they genuinely didn't realise that they were causing hurt. I was embarassed about getting so upset about what is primarily nowadays a commercial trap, but in hindsight, it did them a lot of good as people to SEE how much they had hurt me. They always make an effort on special occasions now and are much more considerate generally...........