At what age should children do mothers day?

Fang_3

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

But it's not a manufactured date. I remember going to church as a child on Mothering Sunday and being given a posy of flowers to take home to my mother. That was back in the days before a "Mother's Day" card had ever been printed.

I agree, in a perfect world all children would demonstrate their appreciation for their mothers every single day. Out of a whole year just one special day for all mothers is a splendid idea, if only to concentrate the minds of the selfish or unthinking few.

Long time then, you must be the oldest woman in the world by centuries! My grandmother has a collection of cards with dried flowers that she made for her mother. I didn't realise you were quite so ancient.

onlyroz

Mother's Day is a load of old nonsense and I don't expect anything from any of my children. They both made me a card - presumably at the insistence of their respective teachers - but I won't be insisting on any sort of gift once they're old enough to know what it's all about. I'd much prefer a spontaneous gift/act of selflessness on a random day, than an overpriced bit of cardboard on Mother's Day.

I bought my own mother flowers because it's expected of me - and I know she'd go into a sulk for months if I didn't. But surely it means much more if I bought her flowers on a random day just because I appreciate her?

serena

Mothering Sunday is still like that in church - the children are given a little posy to present to their mother.

I had homemade cards and a promise of a visit to a local nursery - my three are all teens/young adults, and they know I'd like that, and their company as they were all home today.:D I'm feeling very blessed.

Not to be confused with Mother's Day.
Mothering Sunday is a Christian festival celebrated throughout Europe that falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent. Secularly it became a celebration of motherhood


...not exactly a load of nonsense - although I agree the commercialised version is.

Nicki

Fang wrote: »

You know full well I meant your husband, who for some reason you don't think has any responsibility. I started off having a bit of sympathy for you, but now I just think you should be ashamed of yourself, and your husband and all my sympathy goes to your poor son.

???? You highlighted a sentence from my post saying the book and card was from all 3 children, and asked why I was only highlighting my son, who actually chose it as being responsible?

You seem hung up on the book which I've said repeatedly isn't important to me, and now I need to be ashamed of myself because I've read what everyone posted and am feeling more understanding of son's position than my first post? I haven't confronted my son about this and am just working through my own feelings about the situation here so not sure at all why that has made you so hostile.

hollylangman37

I think the OP's point was that it isn't her husbands resposibility to get anything. If he hadn't bought the book, then she would have had nothing from her son.
At 11yo, he is old enough to make a card at least for his mother and he has shown no effort.
At the end of the day, kids will be kids and he won't realise that something homemade would be so appreciated.

Zoetoes

Have to say I feel quite sad for the little lad, and I think if you bring it up with him you will not only make him feel really bad for no reason, but you will also be showing that if you don't get what present you want you act like a spoilt brat.

Zoetoes

hollylangman37 wrote: »

I think the OP's point was that it isn't her husbands resposibility to get anything. If he hadn't bought the book, then she would have had nothing from her son.
At 11yo, he is old enough to make a card at least for his mother and he has shown no effort.
At the end of the day, kids will be kids and he won't realise that something homemade would be so appreciated.

She wouldn't have had anything off any of the kids, it shouldn't all be put on the 11 year old, it's not his fault his siblings aren't able.

Zoetoes

He might have actually been trying to put thought into what he picked, he had probably seen the cookery book at home and when he saw the one in the shop thought I know mum likes cookery books, he probably didn't realise it was the same one.

hitatotatus

Dad replied I wasn't his mum, and it was for him to do something.

or a cup of tea made with the teabags and milk I had bought for the family.

As evidenced above there seems to be a lack of generosity of spirit and a love of giving for giving's sake, and more of an attitude of "I do it for you, you do it for me".
Take away the fact it is MD and ask yourself if you son appreciates what you do for him and what is expected from him as a family member as he is getting older. Does he have any responsibilities in the family setup? Perhaps it is time to give him some - not just chores, but things to be proud to be part of. Does he run errands for you? He needs to feel connected to the family and that he has a value in the unit too. These are things that are valuable to learn at 11 years old, and will pay dividends in later years.
He will not know unless you as parents guide him there.
I don't think it is necessary for him to spend his money, however, if it is that he doesn't think you are worth spending his money on he needs it explained that money comes and goes, but his mum will always be there.

My DS2 (9) made big fuss and made stuff at school.
Nothing from DS1 (13), however, he put an arm around my shoulders spontaneously and gave me a kiss on the cheek as we walked though town - priceless!!!

Lunar_Eclipse

I think it's very understandable that you are upset.

I am also shocked at the number of people who have said he's still young and you're expecting too much. In my opinion, you are not. He is 11, not 6 or 7.

A cup of tea, a handmade card, some flowers from the garden, breakfast in bed and general extreme helpfulness and good behaviour is not too much to expect on Mother's Day. My daughter's friend (yes, she's a girl so it probably makes a difference) made her mum breakfast in bed and the whole family a 3 course roast dinner today.

Having said that, I agree with the dislike of commercialism associated with today and acknowledge that there really is no reason why you shouldn't be treated like this every day!

I also think your OH could have removed you from overhearing the conversation you mentioned and discussed your son's selfishness with him about not wanting to spend any of his money on buying you something. I don't think him buying the book has helped the situation generally either.

My 9 year old asked my husband to take her shopping, so she could buy me a magazine and a card, with her own money. My 11 year old made me a coffee in bed this morning and has almost finished a homemade gift. Two quite different approaches, but both showing forethought and appreciation. It is all about the thought, I'm not materialistic in the slightest so they know I don't expect lavish presents.

I suggest you discuss your feelings with your son, talking calmly about all the things you happily do for him all the time and why he feels you are not worth him spending any money on on a special day like today. I suspect he might feel quite ashamed afterwards, just making him think about the consequences of his words and actions. More from a good parenting angle than pointing out your upset over Mother's Day.